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Aaaaah.. can anyone relate/ help it's been years!!!!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

vicky51471
vicky51471

Hi

my stories long but I'll be as brief as I can just need to see if there are others that feel like me.

I've had depression and anxiety for 26 years. After an event and a bereavement being told I cant ever have kids all in a year when I was 14.

I was in a violent marriage for15 years addicted to Heroin as well.

I found out my dad was not who I thought he was.

so many shocks I'm constantly waiting for the next thing.. I'm scared 

Im 40 now I've left my husband I'm clean now nearly 17 months... I live with my dear 70 yr old mum. With nothing . Not to sound ungrateful at all!!! Had to leave everything behind when I left.

what m saying is I'm drained I've fought so hard put up with so much I don't know how to restart.... Again.

I have had this black cloud for so long every morning I wake up it's there.

I am on all kinds of medication I don't know who I am anymore.

im sorry I feel so alone right now.

waiting for a CPN to talk I feel numb like never before.

this is horrible  think what's the point I feel so tearfull crying at anything I can't do anything right even Simple  things. 

Can anyone relate it's been so long when's it going to end?

feel so low yet I've got trough that. Is that all I have have I ran out???

 It' take so much out of me.

they  such horrible deases ... latches  on and won't go.

im drained it a constant battle.

what do I do. 

I am nomally the one who cheers others up I like to make sure the people I love are ok I try not to upset anyone yet I don't get treated the same😔

Thank you if you have read this struggling right now

2 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • liz62218
    liz62218 vicky51471

    Posted

    I've had anxiety turning inevitably into depression for 23 years so I know a bit of what you feel like.  I take citrolepram but it's done little for me. Still anxious all the time especially at night.  Doctor has given me Valium 5 mg.  I have been self medicating with sleeping pills which don't work now.  Confessed all to doctor who has given me very low dose of zolpidem.  I am wondering too where this is going.  Hoping for the best for you.  

    • vicky51471
      vicky51471 liz62218

      Posted

      I've just done this wrong 

      thank you Liz for reading. You seem to be a little in limbo like myself. All the meds and still not the right ones. Sometimes I think maybe too many!!

      i hope you go on ok x

      vicky

    • vicky51471
      vicky51471 liz62218

      Posted

      I've just realised I've put this on the sleep problems forum...

      i should have put it on the depression and anxiety one!!!!

      so sorry ........

      i have not slept properly for 12 years after s massive shock... I sit bot upright go for the fro until door before I even know it. I have tried do many things.

      im scared to go to bed because of the night terrors so it goes on and on. I am on so much medication right now but nothing works. So I sleep a little in the day with the daylight. 

      I am seeking help it's exhausting bring tired never ever feeling refreshed.

      anyway that you and sorry for the muck up.

      feeing silly!!

      vicky 

  • vicky51471
    vicky51471

    Posted

    Thank you for you reply I am sorry you are suffering too. Medication is hard to get the right ones or if I'm on too many. Also I know I need to talk.

    you are very kind to read my post.

    all the best too you

    vicky

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