Abandonment issues

Hello Joyce,  I understand now what you mean.  I have been in the same situation as yourself, i lost my husband when i was 29 and thou i had a couple of relationships after they were not commited to me. I have two daughters and found like yourself the feeling of abandoment after they left home. I used to like feeling useful and hearing the key in the lock whenever they returned home from evenings out. I have

since moved to a flat and like living alone now. It as it's benefits like i can get up when i want, go to bed when i want, go out and come home when i want and have noone to answer to, no extra washing,

cooking etc. Humour aside i do feel lonely at times. Have you thought about voluntary work where you can meet new people, creating a new life for yourself is the key. I joined local meet up groups to go out for

meals etc. I struggle because i have mobility problems so i am trying to get out as much as i can while i can. I don't drive so i am limited in that way to and thou i have done voluntary work in the past, i am

unable to work now and i am not retired yet. I also suffer depression but i am determined not to give up. I find if i keep occupied during the

day i can cope with the evenings better and i am usually tired at night. I go to the theatre with my daughters as we all enjoy that. Maybe you could meet your daughter for coffee regularly or lunch. I do have two grandkids whom i enjoy. I only have a couple of friends i meet every couple of weeks, we go for coffee and chat. Try your local library to

see what is on offer, ours have knitting groups and talks with local historians which cost very little. It's a case of finding whats in your

area. Google local meet up groups, they are everywhere and suit all

tastes, groups for coffee, eating out, hobbies, travelling, sports, quizzes, cinema, theatre, walks, and much more. Most are free to join and you meet new people all the time. My only problem now is i want to go on holiday and the nearest travelling meet up is about 15 miles

away and most want to go abroad, so i am feeling fed up as i have some money but cannot find anyone to go with. I am a bit relucant to

go with strangers and they would have to understand my mobility problems. I am desperate to go away and feel upset when i hear about others going away with families or friends. So finding new interests will keep you occupied. Hope this helps you. I understand that not having a partner will still be lonely and your family living their own lives is hard as we feel like we have been abandoned but we can make the most of it, life is too short to mope about. 

Best wishes.

Elizabeth. 

Hi Elizabeth

Thank you for your message and your wise advice.  Re holidays have you looked into holidays for disabled people I am sure there is a company out there that do that.