Absent romantic-sexual life
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hello everyone, I'm 23 years old and to get straight to the point my sexual/romantical life is totally absent in my whole life so far. Never had any sexual experience, not even a kiss with a girl, which now makes me disappointed, anxious, frustrated and skeptical even more everyday. Mainly because I'm very presentable person and on top of that I had a couple of chances that I didn't "grab" to date girls and start my sexual life at some point when I was teenager. Hesitation and being afraid but also my lack of confidence are the reasons for being in this situation now. I might have some kind of social anxiety, specificly in the "girlfriends area" in my opinion, because I always had many friends with or interract with a lot of people in a daily basis. I won't waste time describing the way I feel being single in this age, you understand I guess. What I want you to tell me is: What to do if I know what I have to do in my life in order to overcome all these fears and difficulties ( for example force myself to be more social, hang out more often, meet new people etc. ) but I don't do it? Am I so afraid to confront my "fears"? Do I feel "comfortable" now so I don't want to get out of the "safe zone" of my life? On top of that, the last period the frequency of going outside ( e.g. for a drink with friends ) has been decreased which is directly related to the sexual/romantic factor cause if you don't go outside and meet new people you can't expect a girl in your frontdoor. I look forward hearing your opinions/advices! Thank you very much in advance for your time and help!
2 likes, 3 replies
peter01729 bill1355
Posted
I was like that until I was 24 when for a few years I seemed to be really popular with girls, even though I still couldnt "chat them up".
When you have been with a few girls just for the sake of having sex like you feel you ought to, you start to realise that it is just like a better form of masturbation, sometimes not even as good.
Sex without Love is not as wonderful as you are at present thinking, I now wish I had turned them down, I like to tell people I am saving myself and being faithful to my future wife, (though its too late now because of my age), with that attitude, you are more likely to meet a girl you want to love rather than just have sex with.
Re your social anxiety, I found SSRIs anti-depressants, Ciprolex or something, rubbish for curing depression, but they completely cured my anixety, and for good. Maybe see your GP and ask if you can try them?
Apart from that, just learn to be happy as you rather than sad because you are not some selfish game player who uses women for sex, you are better but the world makes you feel you are the wrong one.
bill1355 peter01729
Posted
Thank you very much for your response first of all! It's true that for the most part we stand out in the society but it gets me wondering if that could be a reason to be alone. I know life is not only about sex or random hook-ups, which is not what I'm looking for but on the other hand I feel "behind" and lonely, especially the last few months. I can not stand it seriously. What happened in your life after the age of 24?
peter01729 bill1355
Posted
After leaving hospital, I got invited to a nurses party, I think maybe there was one other man, murses were queing up to dance with me. After that I started seeing another nurse for a while. Then I went back to normality being too shy to approach women. Then I grew my hair long, after that women aproached me, a married next door neighbour for instance asking me if I wanted to sleep with her. When I got a haircut my sex life pretty much ended for life, but that was mainly because I joined a religion that didnt allow sex outside of marriage, courtship was actually better when sex doesnt get in the way. After I left that I was in my mid thirties so no single women left. Now I am nearly 60, loads of women on dating sites but I do not find them attractive unfortunately.
So, be happy in yourself, be a bit quirky if that is your nature, then hang around places that women frequent until they get to know you and that you are a nice guy, not a user.