Absolutely fed up of 'putting it on'!

I feel totally the same. I get hardly any help at home. I feel like crying at work too as am always in pain and forgetful. Have. Now left a fibromayalgia leaflet lying around for my husband. But don't think it's moved from where I put it if you have a good relationship maybe you should explain. I think my family are fed up with me and acuse me of moaning all the time when its just frustration

Amy , I wish you could stop work, because that would be the best thing for you, to help u heal.Or even change to part-time.

I know financially it's hard, but I did and just at the right time. I was on my last leg.We have to realize that we can't do everything for everybody.

Most of us are non stop, like I was and I liked it.

It's frustrating that we can't do the same things.

I try to pace myself and it's definitely helping.

Listen to your body. Before I had Fibro, I would wait hours to go to the bathroom and I would delay my lunch for work

Can't do that anymore, have to treat your body like a queen now lol.take care of yourself

Poor sweetie. We all feel for you Amy. We have all gotten to that point often enough. I have found that men do not usually sympathise with us since they work and don't feel like they can complain, so they expect the same from us. Just treat yourself with more respect Amy and you really don't have to explain yourself. Just go about your life like this is a matter of fact situation that you live with and therefore the family have to adapt as well. The more respect you give yourself Amy, eventually, you won't mind how others react. It is like any other Chronic condition that you should not have to try to solicit understanding about. I did quit work when I was 55 because I could not function efficiently anymore. It was becoming too much. Funny thing, we did not suffer in anyway financially. We as wives, we think that we have to always push through anything so that we can 'help' until it practically kills us. Well a friend who had a great deal of wisdom finally told me that I had to accept my limitations. That it was a matter of modesty. Not trying to be super woman anymore. The more we seem to give, the more it seems we are taken for granted. It is just the way it is Amy. The more we respect ourselves the way we would respect others, the more we gain it for ourselves. Weird how that works, but it is a fact. Sometimes we come to a crossroads in our lives sweetie. Adjustments and decisions must be made for the benefit of all. Without you, the family would be lost my dear. So start taking better care of yourself! Nurturing and filling your own needs is important as well Amy. Thinking of you my dear. Maggie xx

Omg Hun this sounds like my house ! I to have 3 children and work full time and am made to feel like poo ! I'm lazy it's not fibromyalgia it's called the lazy disease 😡 Makes me so mad I do have a cleaner in once a week as I have a three storey house so there is no way I can clean it. I keep thinking maybe I should stop cooking tea and tidying up behind them then see what happens! There the lazy ones not us Hun xx

Massive hug 🤗

Hi Amy; Yes to the question "does anyone else's family not seem to realize how Fibro affects".   This is usually the case for ALL of us (I actually think that I have only read re one forum blogger has said that her husband is a great support .....".  There are times that some of mine "seem to want to undestand....and talk about it", but when Crunch times come, then all that I've said/showed them, goes out the window, and it's back to "what they want /need....." their problems are always more important.

?I am having one of those weeks myself.  This week has been a case of "mum is the one to ring to complain/rant to" ;  mum is the one "who will pick up my kids from school because I have....(such and such on)".....even after telling them that Any Stressor sets me back: and this week has been ONE big stressor  !!!!!     I had once shown all re a picture that was posted on the ME website re "what our bodies look like" from a Medical point of view.....the inflammed muscles....the flaring of Nerve pain ..etc, and I thought "aha, this may give them some idea".  However, yes for a few days (maybe weeks), things were ok, but as they don't "see" this/or understand, as you say, we don't appear ILL, like someone who has cancer/other obvious condition that is recognized by all, then we "really arn't ill". 

?As for the hoovering, I would say, "stuff it".  they should be grateful if you manage a meal on the table, and some clean clothes.

?I also know that telling you to "give up work/cut down your hours" is a very ideal situation; however, until/if you can afford same, then I think the housework needs to be let go.  It sounds as if you don't live here in Aussie, so perhaps the best I can suggest is for you to speak to what we call a Social Worker, to see what maybe available to you, in order of house help/financial subsidies???    Are you married/in a de facto relationship?  Here, that makes all the difference.  If you are single, then we can claim more from our benefits. Unfortunately for me, I basically have to say I am Not married; so have not been able to get any financial support, but am getting to the stage where I may start asking for some home help???   I don't do a lot, anymore, anyway (especially when it comes to vacuuming/washing floors......my husband has always done this, but mainly because he has what I call a bit of Complusive Obsessive Syndrome.....just Cannot Sit Still....which in itself drives me crazy (from  the very beginning 38 years ago).  Having said all this, I know he does not understand re Fibro, and there are days that he says things like "why can't you get another job".....etc  (I worked in nursing for over 25+ years of our marriage with 4 children).  He thinks that if I worked, it would "get me out of house more"...lol.....but as many of us know, we get to a stage where even a short trip to the dr's or shops for groceries is an effort.  Yes, it would be lovely to feel normal again, wouldn't it......I do miss not being able to work, as I loved my work, and really do feel like a completely different person to the one I was 15 years ago..........

?So this is my rant, too....but letting you know that I empathize with you, as do so many others of us do too.                                  Bron

No one understands if they haven't got it unfortunately work no one cares you just have to keep going or so I'm told. Family try to understand but still never really get it sometimes I feel like going to a remote hill and shout just to get rid of my frustration about the world around me. I can't change my illnesses but as much as I try pain and exhaustion is with me 24/7.

My place used to be spotless and now there are weeks it just goes to crap. Fishes pile up and so does laundry. Forget dusting or vacuuming. I would unload the dishwater and that would exert my energy for the day. You have to listen to your body. I'm on my own so if I can't do it no one will. Can't afford to have help. I just do what I can when I can. Whatever my body will allow.

I'm lucky cause my family understands what I'm going through, as much as they can without having it.I have a cousin with ms and one with lupus so they have kind of paved the way of understanding. Doesn't hurt to have nurses in the family too. You have to be open with your family about what's going on with you. So often we try to just deal with the pain and not complain so they don't know. Stay strong. We are always here for you.