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ADD has pretty much ruined my life

Posted , 4 users are following.

hikiaru
hikiaru

I just want to vent and this is the only place I can think of right now. I just want to calm my conscience. And don't we all?

I was diagnosed with ADD some time ago, but due to my suicidal thoughts people were afraid of medicating me.. Which only made everything worse. Yay. I feel like I live in ruins and soon things will get extremely hard for me. You see, my main problem would be that I have no future plans, nothing to keep me motivated or simply nothing would work so I don't study, like I should and do nothing all day. I watch YouTube but even that is not fun. I have no friends. We moved countries and I had to learn a language, but I only kind of learnt the basics with the help of my mom and now I am expected to study or get a job. I just...I just can't. Everything feels like too much, every day reminds me anew why I hate myself, being me and this life. Every little stupid decision takes all energy from my brain. And guess what, the whole day is made up of hundreds of small decisions. Because I've been doing nothing and know nothing, I have no future. I dare say this is not some delusion or an exaggeration. This is the truth and everytime I seriously get reminded (everyday at least once) I either get suicidal or cry, but mostly suicidal. I never know how to talk to people, how to get friends, how to fight for a goal of mine and it's pretty much too late, I always fall down and think of suicide. My life will be horribly messed up, it already is and i don't know what to do. Everything reminds me of my ADD. I just wanted to vent. And here I did. Wow I actually "achieved " something today. This makes me cry. Today again I did nothing

1 like, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Chibburn13
    Chibburn13 hikiaru

    Posted

    Yes you did achieve something today. Perhaps you could aim to do one tiny thing every day. Small steps. Don’t give up, you expressed yourself very well. Go back to your GP.  Cognitive therapy may be good for you.

  • wendy62425
    wendy62425 hikiaru

    Posted

    Hikiaru

    i just read what you shared and am so sad that you are feeling so down.  Our daughter has ADD as well, she is now 23.  It was a struggle going through school but she made it through and actually got through college and has a job that she really likes.  She was on medication off and on and now stopped all meds as that is her choice.  Yes it can be a bit of struggle sometimes but she gets through it.  Those will ADD are actually quite gifted and smart!  Look at you learning another language...wow that is awesome!  I wish I was able to have another language!!  Keep it up you will get it and will become easy in time.  Also try to find something that you would like to do.  We went through so many different things to try and find something that Our daughter would enjoy and be able to do.  She tried piano lessons, gymnastics, soccer etc but she was not interested or could not focus until one day a friend called me and asked if our daughter would be interested in taking horseback riding lessons.......she said she would give it a try .......well, she LOVED it and fell in love with being around horses and also met some really nice friends and became best friends with a sweet girl and they are still good friends to this day.  All through the later years of school on weekends and sometimes after school she went to the barn to ride the horses or just be around them and the people there at the barn. Hikiaru it's just a matter of trying new things until to find that one thing that you enjoy...for our daughter it was trial and error but she found it and it got her through school years.  She did not get the best grades but she is so smart in many other ways.  She is amazing on the computer and she is wonderful with children and loves to help other children with ADD.....in fact she is thinking of maybe trying to go back to school to get training so she can get a job to help others with ADD.

    Also.......God loves you very much!!  You are very special.......you are not alone!  

    Try to get excercise too as that is so important.  Think positive.  In time you may be able to take some meds to help.  Many of us have health issues that need medication...I sure do ......everyday

    Dont give up.....you have much to live for!!

    you can private message me if you want to.  We are all here for you!!  You are not alone!

    Best

    Wendy

  • wendy62425
    wendy62425 hikiaru

    Posted

    Hello hikiaru

    just checking in to see how you are doing.  We are all here for you.

    wendy

     

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