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Hi, I've read some really helpful threads on here, some from over a year ago though so I thought I'd start my own. I have been addicted to Ibuprofen and codeine now for about five years. I am 37 and when I was in my early twenties I became addicted to soluable solpadol which I was perscribed by my doctor. After a bit of gently persaussion from my flatmate I went to the docs and he gave me valium to help kick the addiction. I was off it and fine. Then a few years later I got together with the father of my children and he and his parents and sister all bought soluable solpadeine from the chemist. They took them, every four hours everyday. So, being weak willed and having a rather addictive personality I got hooked on them too. Obviously the codeine content was less but they still had an effect. As we were both doing it there was no incentive to stop, unlike when I lived with my flatmate who recognised my addiction and forced me to face it. My relationship ended with the father of my children about eight years ago.
Then about five years ago, I had a very bad hangover and was handed some N+. That was such a nice feeling compared to the solpadeine and that was it, I never looked back. I live in quite a small town so I can only really hit the two chemists every so often so take to trying to go to all the chemists I can when out and about elsewhere. I have to make silly excuses to my partner in order to make him wait outside. I've become more and more sneaky and secretive, I keep one strip of them in my bag and hide the rest away, as every now and again my partner or grown up daughter may ask for a couple and it needs to look like it's the same packet and I only take them as occasionally as they do. I think they are both slightly concerned that I'm abusing it but I just try to make light of it, but inside I am ashamed and embarassed. I have also taken to buying them off the internet and two websites have refused to send me anymore so soon after the last lot but in reality I've probably gone through about another three boxes from elsewhere in the intervening period.
I have been with my partner for over a year, he is wonderful and caring and I am very in love. I have been through a lot in my life, including grief, physical and emotional trauma and I think I've always used codeine to self medicate anxiety and depression. But now I am happy, I shouldn't feel the need to self medicate. I just want to feel normal and happy - like normal and happy people!
My partner is going to buy us a house soon and we will be moving in together, it'll be harder then to get them sent to the house. Even the other day at mine he signed for a packet that arrived unexpectedly on a Saturday but luckily he didn't ask what it was.
I don't want to tell anyone I know about this, I just want to kick it and be done with it. I can't go to the doctors as my job requires me to have a health check and anything to do with mental health and/or addiction is a massive no. I love my job and can't lose it because of this.
I've read on here about people taking whole packets of the stuff everyday. I take two tablets, every four hours from whenever I get up to whenever I go to bed. I also take it if I'm out drinking which really perks me up. Then I take a load the next day to get rid of the hangover. Alongside this I'm going to stop drining so much wine too. I've already strted taking vit B and have been given some slippery elm by my mum to help with stomach problems. (Told her it's IBS - which I am prone to so Ibuprofen doesn't help) I am very worried about my stomach as I get bloated all the time and have a lot of wind and constipation problems. I have read on here that codeine phosphate is good to help weane off the N+ and gets shot of the ibuprofen. I take it every morning before my breakfast which I know is stupid but to be honest (and I'm going to be totally honest on here as it's the only place I can be) it gives me a better hit in the morning. I just want to be healthy and happy and free of this mental and physical addiction. I am fed up of checking the time and waiting for the four hours to be up, sometimes knocking off the odd half hour here and there. Making excuses to myself to justify taking the next lot. Wondering and worrying about where the next packet is going to come from, not to mention the cost!
If anyone can offer any advice I'd be very grateful. I can't go cold turkey as I have a very demanding job wotking long hours and I don't want to turn into a horrible grumpy partner and mum for a few weeks.
However I really, really want to do this. I have taken two this morning and I am going to go through today without any and see how I feel. I have taken tomorrow off work and I'm getting my hair done in the morning and going on a road trip with my partner, without our four children we have between us (!) so I figured it would be a good time to make a start on the rest of my life.
Any advice welcome please and if CP is a sensible option, where do you get it?
I am excited about reaching the other side of this but not sure I can do this completely alone
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