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Hi, after 13 years of being unwell and always declining, much faster in the last 3 years I seem to finally have an answer. I have a short synacthen test tomorrow for Addison's but I have many classic symptoms including darkening of skin, so I think it is highly likely to be positive. I really hope so!
I was put on the 'fibromyalgia shelf' and left there for more than a decade and after pushing for further tests, being refused and having to get them from a second doctor, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism last year.
I want to ask about one of the problems I've had that has really troubled me. I seem to have lost self discipline in certain things. I understand that motivation will be affected but I have never been a lazy person, and it never feels like laziness or procrastination, rather a brain block. I have had huge problems with birthdays and christmases. None of my family talk to me any more, they've never believed I've not been well and that hurts because I have tried so hard to organise gifts and cards and sometimes I do, but for the life of me I cannot seem to get them sent off. The Christmas that all of 3 my sisters suddenly stopped sending presents at the same time was really painful because they'd obviously all talked about it and decided to come to that decision. There is a lot of stress involved with my family as my mother runs hot and cold with me for no reason often not speaking to me for years. This started becoming so painful for me to deal with (now it makes sense with low stress hormones) that my sisters got fed up I believe with me crying about it whenever we spoke on the phone.
I have always loved baths, but can't have them any more, because no matter how many times I tell myself before I get in, that this time I will be out within an hour, I stay in for 3-5 hours. I have tried washing first so I get the painful stuff done, that doesn't help. I literally cannot seem to act. It sounds so crazy and I can understand how it would be difficult for others to understand as I am totally confused about it myself.
If I am in the middle of one of my sleep marathons, which can last for 2-3 days, I can be in so much pain or bursting to go to toilet yet unable to get out of bed to get medication or go to the toilet. Of course I'm exhausted otherwise I wouldn't be in bed in the first place, but again it feels like that brain block thing.
Playing a game, or writing something on my phone when I am tired out and almost forcing myself to stay awake to keep doing it, even continuously sitting up to wake myself up if I nod off to keep doing it even though I have got to a point where I am just holding the phone and unable to actually carry out the act, and invariably end up asleep again, only for me to wake myself up again, and got through the whole process another few times.
Strangely enough it was one of the first things I noticed 13 years ago. I used to have an airbrushing business and noticed that suddenly I couldn't seem to change colours the way I did. All it involved was a simple rinsing of the cups and airbrush, and putting in a new colour. It suddenly became a stumbling block and it was always at that point I would stop work. I started finding it harder and harder, and put it down to pain and tiredness as the other symptoms developed, but it was the same brain block feeling that does not feel like procrastination or laziness.
I'm just hoping that now I (almost) have a diagnosis that someone will be able to understand and recognise what I'm saying as I have found it so upsetting to be honest. I just feel that I cannot be in control sometimes and it has had a devastating effect on me in many ways.
Here's hoping that I'm not the only one who has these crazy symptoms.
Thank you in advance for any response.
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