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Guest
Guest

I am bulimic and have been so for a few months. Im very thin anyway because a few years a go I dieted and lost about 3 stone (and I wasn't even fat in the start) and then I got obsessed with eating healthily. Now though things have changed...I am sick four of five times a day, maybe more. I don't even mind being sick, I have become an expert at it and can do it in2 seconds flat without even putting my fingers down my throat, which means it is really easy to kep it a secret from my family. In one way it feels good to know I am in total otrol and will never get fatter but in another way it is bad because I know it's weird and wrong and I keep craving weet foods cos my bodies getting used to them (unusual for me cos I used to eatso healthily.) I keep telling mself that's it and i'll stop but I guess deep down I know i'm kidding myself. The worst thing is dceiving people I care about. I know I have the will power to beat this somewhre in meand I hope that i shall manage it..Maybe if I take small steps like cutting back. Sometimes bulimia makes me feel so alone so it's good to write about it to other poeple who feel the same and understand!

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Lisa_Jane
    Lisa_Jane

    Posted

    I feel exactly the same! im 25 years old and have had this \"thing\" for nearly 5 years. it stoped for a while then started, then stoped and now it's has just took control of me. i feel helpless. every monday i say right this is it now a fresh start, healthy eating, exercise! then what happens, works made me so sleepy i cant be bothered to exercise, tea time comes and food tastes so good, then it's back to square one before i havent even got past day one and its back to being \"A Bulimic\"! it's like im traped and this \"thing\" has hold of me and won't let go. i feel sometimes im not even a person and this \"thing\" just takes over me and my mind and im powerless. sometimes im not even hungry, just something a little bit bad has happened that day to upset me and that sets me off, i think mmm i will treat myself to 10 chocolate bars, that will make me feel better! well today is Tuesday and i have been the doctors. this was the hardest step i think. crying to a total stranger telling them how disgusting you are with food! this is the day it all changes. anybody who is going through the same, please leave a message, maybe we can help each other instead of trying alone... :D
  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    Wow that's so good you have been to the docs, well done. At the mo I'm not feeling too bad with myself. I know what I am doing is not normal but at the mo I am not really trying to stop...I hope one day I just come to a point where I no longer want to do this and I can stop. I don't want to be doing this at 40 but now I can't imagine eating a big meal and not throwing up...It's too easy and I would feel weird an disgusting if I didn't. It's such a strange thing. Good luck, I hope you beat it!
  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    Tash,

    Thanks for sharing your story, it is nice to know what other people in this situation feel and relate to your personal life…. I have experienced exactly the same as you and Lisa Jane probably because I started 12 YEARS ago! I was obsessed with my weight. I don’t remember how it started, the truth is that it worked; I lost the pounds that I wanted. I used laxatives, exercised like crazy, and purged trying to keep my weight since...

    I always thought that I was the one in control, but now I realize that it is the bulimia that has the control over me…I changed my eating habits aiming to avoid purging; unfortunately, now everything I eat I must take it out… I can’t control it anymore. It affected my body functions, I am constipated most of the time and my periods are very irregulars…I have been trying for about 2 years to have a baby, never thought that it will be so difficult… my husband doesn’t know about … I have to end it! I visited several doctors, for a while but nothing seemed to work…maybe I was not ready… “You must trust your doctor and you must WANT to overcome the illness” I don’t have the opportunity to see a doctor …I will have to fight it myself….readying your comments will help….

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