Admitting I am an alcoholic for the first time ever

Hi Kenny...I just noticed sarah hasn't replied in about a month. I hope she is doing well now. 

​I did want to tell you a story...I felt the same way about being compared to any other type of addict.  I always thought I was different.

​Until ONE DAY....(actually I have 2 stories)...but the first one.

​One day, I was out of work on a binge...couldn't manage to bring myself to get ready for the responsiblity of a job that day....and that had occurred many times.  There was a girl across the street from me who was addicted to drugs...heroin and other drugs. 

I had actually confronted her one day because she was asking MY son if he could get her drugs....she was about 20 years older than him at the time.

​But, this one day home in my pajamas...out of work...I was looking out the window..and I saw her (in her pajamas)..walking up to the corner of the street.  A guy met her and obviously sold her drugs. 

I remember thinking...I AM NO DIFFERENT than her...as I was about to leave for the store in my pajamas...she was not working (I was not working)...she looked a mess (I looked a mess)...she was controlled by drugs (I was controlled by alcohol). 

The only difference between her and I was her drug of choice was being brought to her and I had to go out and drive my car to get mine.

But we were both struggling.  And a big difference with drugs is that they kill people faster.  This girl ended up dying from a drug overdose.

​My 2nd story:  One time I was in a detox - rehab facility...and there was a young girl laying on the bench sleeping when I was let out to smoke a cig...I remember always thinking alcohol wasn't as bad as drugs...

​But, looking at her that day...we ended in the same place...in a detox...because of our demons...and I was no better than her...I had no more control over my problem than she did...and I was in the same place as her....I was just as sick and just as broken as anyone else in that place....and at that time and with the girl that died....I realized....there is not much difference in addictions.....

We are all the same. ...hurting...suffering and fighting to get well.

 

Hi l take your point about a your bad day, and the way you see yourself.

But unless Sarah is holding something back and why would she ? Then l for would never compare her to an heroin addict.

She drinks a lot yes but she also has drink free days, do heroin do that, Some evenings l take our dog out and sit on bench and drink a beer, l have no shame. I would however never do that in the presence of children not because of my pride or anything, but to protect them. Would you think that it were possible for an heroin addict to have such self control.

l would love to start own thread on here but l am not seeking help, It would only cause arguments and l would be advised to get this medicine or these tables or try this that or the other. Please don't misunderstand me, l'm sure for some people they MUST work?

But the fact is the only real  way is WIlL POWER 

l wish you all a nice drink free day and mr. Moderator let this one live please 

"But the fact is the only real  way is WIlL POWER"

For those that can manage it, Kenny. Which would be about 10% of those with AUD if you're looking at a 4 year window (NIAAA stats). For the remainder, it's a dangerous, even deadly path, not only for them, but for family and even for society in general. 

Hear, hear.

I would also love to hear stats on the AA (there are none produced) from an independent peer reviewed source.

Hi sorry l have no idea what that is. There is in my opinion only one way to beat the curse and that is WITH the Power that you have inside your own mind.

some slip ups will happen if we let them. But it's not the end of the world is it.

It is if we want it to be!!!!!    Do we run for help, tablets, medicines, in our heads we know they will not help. Slow down drinking from 20 to 19 to 18 to 17 to 16 over time will power. Tablets can't do that for you only you.

If you know what l mean. Man l can babble or what ❤️

'There is in my opinion only one way to beat the curse and that is WITH the Power that you have inside your own mind.'

Even if it has put a ruddy great hole in your brain, and affected your prefrontal cortex?

If one can do it with willpower and some social support AA / SmartRecovery / Moderation Management, etc., then that's what they should do. If a "slip-up" is having one or two, then getting right back on the wagon, no big deal. If it's time and again returning to prior levels of drinking or worse, along with the attendant personal and collateral damage, that's a whole 'nother ballgame. That's where Medically Assisted Treatment should come into the picture, because those individuals can't do it with willpower alone and will only end up running towards their own destruction because willpower doesn't help them keep the bottle out of their mouth. That is what happens with 90% of those that try straight abstinence or tapering, Kenny. I'm glad it works for you, that makes your life that much simpler. 

And yes, I tried and failed at the willpower route, so I researched effective treatment and yes, I used the pills and they worked and continue to work. Like I said, if you can get it done with AA and the like, and make it stick, that's what you should do. That person does not understand what the other 90% are going through, that person is not wired the same way. The kindest thing you can say to those that try and end up failing hard is "Look, you gave it a try and you crashed harder than ever before. You should talk to a specialist about finding another way." 

Your are, of course, entitled to your opinion Kenny and I respect that.

But I will say that over 20 years of research has gone into the method that uses naltrexone or nalmefene to cut down to zero drinking, rather than just try stop.  A medicine of the same family called Naloxone is actually used to bring heroin addicts out of an overdose if given quickly enough.

I suppose my point is that over 20 years of research and over 120 clinical tests PROVE that these medications are of positive help.  I am one such person that has benefited from them and I have now gone on to support over 250 other people in the past 2 years.

I tried 'willpower' for over 20 years - and following relapse after relapse and watching my aunt die from a fall down stairs during one of these slips that according to you is not the end of the world - I finally learned that I was suffering from a medical problem that needed medical help.  It is NOT a 'curse' or a 'demon' or any other of the descriptive words that I see from time to time.  It is an ILLNESS.

So, excuse me if I decide to take all the documentated research and clinical tests PLUS my own experience of these medications over your assertions that willpower is the ONLY way.

If that worked for you, great.  Brilliant!  I am very, very happy for you.  I really don't care how anyone gets sober as long as they do.

But don't try to tell me that it is the ONLY way.  I am living proof that you are wrong in that respect.

If you beat it with willpower you live

If you don't you die

Would just like to confirm that I am with Joanna one hundred percent regarding medication that helps. You only have to read how well people are doing on naltrexone,nalmephene and campral. I was a 24/7 drinker, then a binge drinker after going into rehab. Yes I still have my crisis moments but all in all over the last few months of taking naltrexone I am getting so much better. So therefore I think you maybe living in the dark ages of aa philosophy. I'm not putting aa down as they've helped me in the past, but medicine has moved on since the 1930's. That's my opinion anyway. 

so glad to hear from  you..although iM HAVING MUCH TROUBLE TYPING......NO EXPLANATION NEEDED..