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I feel I'm depressed. I have felt this way for a long time now and I can't see a way of changing this. I self harm, I have attempted suicide before and I am struggling to see why I shouldn't do it again. My father abandoned me as a child and now my mother and step-father have kicked me out of their house. I'm not a bad person, my mother has a tendency to mistreat loved ones and disown them on a whim without any sense of remorse. I understand the way my mother acts shows many symptoms of Psychopathy and I know I should be their for her (which I was). My step-father came to the house I am staying at with three bin bags full of my hastily packed belongings. He explained to me that my mother had been to the doctors and has been diagnosed as Bipolar. I have gotten bother from my parents my entire life everyday since my step-father came along. Only I get troubled by them even though I am the 'good kid' in the family. My half brother, which is my mother and step-father's son, has never gotten a word said to him.. Despite the fact he steals and is extremely violent towards everybody. Now my mother says she wants nothing to do with me, yet my step father forces me to phone her up and ask her 'how she is'. Every time I make the phone call all I get is abuse and violence. I don't know what todo now. I can't do right from doing wrong.. I have spoken to doctors over the Internet and they have told me to get help from specialists but I didn't want to alarm my parents. It was obvious that I was suicidal when I lived with them because I refused to eat, there were blood stains on my clothes from the deep, Long cuts I gave myself and I even tried telling them that I was depressed (in reply to this I got a 'don't be stupid' ). My entire existence was just a cry for help and they just didn't seem to care. Now that my mother has been diagnosed though, I am expected to be sorrowful and do my best to help. Now this may be insensitive of me but I believe that if they didn't help me why should I help her? I want to but I don't think I should. Any advice on this would be appreciated..
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