Advice for a gf dating someone with bipolar Disorder who has hit the depression stage

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hi there,

I am not sure if I have the correct forum to ask a question but here i go...I met the most wonderful man 7 months ago, he is sweet caring and kind and i love him dearly. He told me 3 months into the relationship when he was questioning going forward that he had Bipolar Disorder. I didnt know much about it so i researched it and said i would support him and be there for him. He began his medication again and things are great. I didnt see him for a week or so and when i did he seemed very depressed and sad. I got anexity and thought he wasnt interested in me and he reminded me that it is part of his Bipolar disorder. My question is, how do i support him when he is depressed? Is asking things like are you okay? and how are you doing annoying? i feel like it would get annoying and i dont wanna irritate him with that, but i also want to be by his side when he is going through the depression because i know he cant help it. Any advice for what to do to support him? Thanks so much

0 likes, 4 replies

Report / Delete

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Grace.

    My son is in the same boat as you with me.

    He does nothing different, although at times he asks if i'm okay or if i want or need anything, but he treats me exactly the same as when i'm not in a depressive state.

    If i go off to be alone, he leaves me but checks on me.

    He just lets me know he's there for me, even if it's by being in another room doing his own thing.

    I realise each of us are different, but just by my son being understanding and caring enough to be there helps me.

    Just knowing someone cares and loves me enough to do that in horrible times for them, too, somehow helps.

    I hope this helps you.

    All the best

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Alwaysalone,

      Thanks so much for your comment. Makes me feel a bit better, I want to support but not smother. I will show I care and hopefully he will reach out if he needs anything specific that i am unaware of. Thanks again, appreciate it smile

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Grace, I also met an amazing guy last September, he was the kindest and most loving guy I had ever met before. He told me it was love at first sight and asked me to promise that I would never leave him. We had so much in common but unexpectedly on 2nd Jan he broke up with me. He is struggling to deal with depression and won't let me help him. He says I'm better off without him, I thought he had just gone off me totally but last week he told my friend that he still feels the same about me. It's hard Grace, I know how you must be feeling because I just want to tell him that I understand but he won't let me help him. He's just shut himself away.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Lynn,

      I understand! My bf broke up with me out of the blue too and i was like shocked out of my mind the next day he said a friend told him to tell me he was Bipolar and it would be up to me if i wanted to stick around or not (obviously i did) but since that happened i have extreme anxiety that out of the blue he is going to do that again and break up with me even though he loves me. I am not sure what to do yet when they pull away, i did order a book on amazon called "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner" it hasnt arrived yet so i dont know if it will help. I have read that during the depression cycles not to take things to heart or personally (i know impossible right!) From other people's stories it seems maybe once he is in his happy cycle he will probably call you again, if he does do you think maybe he would go to a therapist with you once a week just to keep the communication in line to try and avoid him bailing? Sorry you are going through that, its very hard <3

      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up