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Advice for anyone who's relationship has failed with GAD

Posted , 5 users are following.

andy46995
andy46995

Hello,

This is the 17th night of no sleep so I thought I'd better ask for some advice.....

I was diagnosed with GAD last year and in some ways it was a relief as being a 40 year old man who has struggled with anxiety since a child, this kind of helped as I knew 'what was wrong with me(?)'

I have had a girlfriend of 4 years after the breakup of my marriage which ended due to my wife leaving me for her boss. The pain of my wife leaving me has only recently gone and the relationship with my girlfriend was never perfect but I loved her nontheless.

In November last year, after another foul argument with my insecure girlfriend, I decided to call it a day and asked her to leave.

We stupidly and foolishly kept in touch until about a month ago and would still sleep together. I should've kept the break apart  as after all it was my shout and I wanted to move on.

I also (because of GAD) was a little scared of letting go completely as I didn't want to upset someone. I've always struggled with this emotion.

I have now found out my ex girlfriend is seeing someone else and doesn't want to spend time with me anymore.

I'm a wreck.

I haven't eaten, I haven't slept and I've lost a stone in weight as I realised how much in love with her I was. I also cry too easily!

I've done everything I can to save the relationship but they are all fallen on deaf ears as she has moved on and I haven't.

I'm actually starting to look like a fool.

My close friends and family are glad the relationship has ended as they say my ex girlfriend was at times brutal with me but I can't se the woods for the trees at the moment and just want her back with me in my life.

I can't find any information on the internet with people losing a loved one with GAD and I wondered if anybody had any thoughts as I'm really struggling.

I'm not on any AD's anymore.

I don't think my ex helped as I had to go on them for anxiety when I was with her.

Despite this, I love her dearly.

Any thoughts for an old GAD sufferer with the world's biggest broken heart?!

Thanks,

Andy

 

2 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • sue63604
    sue63604 andy46995

    Posted

    Dear Andy, I understand your pain.  I"ve been there.  You have value.  You need to know this.  This quote is something that I had to put up physically in front of me every day.  "Forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a different past."  Forgiving others and yourself is a step to the future.  None of us can change the past, the hurts, the pain, the things that happened or happened to us.  You need to live in this present moment. Your girlfriend has made her choice.  You know need to make one for you.  All the sadness and wishing will not change this. You need to take care of you.  To be selfish and let yourself heal and sleep.  I wish you well...

     

    • andy46995
      andy46995 sue63604

      Posted

      Thank you Sue,

      That's very kind of you to respond.

      I had 45 mins sleep last night and numerous panic attacks.

      I have decided to go to the doctors this morning as I'm clearly unwell.

      I need to move on.

      I'm desperate though. Desperate for the return of my love and desperate to feel better.

      I went through all this 5 years ago and I had 2 breakdowns...I really don't want to go through all that again but I know I'm slipping,fast.

      The pain I have is unreal.

      It's a pain where I feel let down and a pain that the everybody I have ever loved has let me down.

      My anxiety has got worse with age, not better.

      Thank you for your words, I'm glad you've stopped by to read my problem.

      :-(

       

  • ray06999
    ray06999 andy46995

    Posted

    I have been there too buddy and it really hurts but with me what works is going to the gym if your anxiety will let you do so. What I do is I concentrate on what is bothering me at the gym and that makes me work even harder and when I am done I seem to be more relaxed not sure if this would work for you but it might be worth a try.
  • steadfast
    steadfast andy46995

    Posted

    I have suffered from disappointing relationships with friends, family, and co-workers (retired now)  for years; however, yours is of a different nature.  Remember not to dwell on the past and what you can do nothing about. It sounds like a blessing that your ex-girfriend is an ex.  This gives you a chance to focus on yourself and how to heal from brokedness. See a therapists. There are some healthy supplements that can help you relax and sleep.  Focus on what is good in your like, volunteer, get involved in group activities i.e. church, sports club, etc. sit in the park and enjoy nature.  I don't know if you are christian or not but seeing a Christian therapist, praying, and meditating on scripture has helped me.  Praying that you will find help.  I don't know how you are functioning not sleeping for 17 days. Please see a doctor. 
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 andy46995

    Posted

    Dear Andy, I so feel for you, please go back to your doctor again and let them know just how much you are struggling. Would you consider taking antidepressants again for a while and maybe a short term period of sleeping pills just to let your body get a decent rest?.  Have you got a very close friend that you could really open up to? Or maybe a counsellor.  It is always very hard to cope with a broken heart when at times it hurts so much it seems unbearable, but time really does heal or at least help.  Please,please try to take life a day at a time and realize that many people care about you, every reply shows this.  I wish that I could wave a magic wand for you!! Take care and be kind to yourself .  DEIRDRE xx
  • andy46995
    andy46995

    Posted

    Thank you for all your kind replies.

    This morning at 7am I had a panic attack and thought enough is enough, so I went to see the doctor who has prescribed some AD's again.

    The panic attacks are awful. I can't breathe, my heart is pounding and for some strange reason I want to hit and kick out?

    After seeing my ex wife leave me for another man, I vowed never to fall in love again....5 years later I'm in the same position again and because of GAD the suffering is unbearable.

    Thanks once again - I'm really chuffed for all your support.

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