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Advice needed please

Posted , 13 users are following.

Shelleyl
Shelleyl

Hi All

i had a total abdominal hysterectomy coming on 5th February, tubes and ovaries removed as well as a four and a half pound fibroid.  Prior to having my operation I had suffered significantly and have been on sick from work since June last year.

my employer has not been supportive at all and a week after my operation my manager came to see me and told me that I needed to shape up and start getting back to normal!!! Today I have been to occupational health which is part of the process when you work for the council.  It was a struggle to travel there as I am still unable to drive still quite sore around my incision.  My husband took me along with my cushions in the car.  I advised the doctor who I saw that although it has been four weeks I still felt very tired was sore and am limited in what I could do without having to sit down from aching and having a smelly belly.  S he basically told me that I should be driving by now even though I am not covered by my insurance to which she told me that my GP could state that I was fit to drive.  She also said that in her opinion having a hysterectomy is just like having a Caesarian and that women who have C sections have to get on with normal life as soon as they are discharged.  She advised that I return to work in a weeks time and basically said that when I discuss the plan with my GP I need to inform him that if he doesn't sighn me off then I will have no job to return to.

i came out feeling very anxious, emotional and felt a total fake as if I was whinging for nothing.  I am also questioning whether I should be up and about driving, going out more and doing more than I am even though I am doing small household tasks but no lifting heavy objects as this is what I have been advised.  I am still taking medication for pain as I need to I have tried to go without but the doctor today even said that I should have weaned off them by now.  Am I normal not to have or am I just being a baby and feeling sorry for myself?

please help

Shelley xx

1 like, 20 replies

20 Replies

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  • Sally_66
    Sally_66 Shelleyl

    Posted

    Hi Shelley. You poor thing. Who are these ridiculous people in your Council Occ Health? Obviously pretty brainless if they think a TAH is like a C Section!! I've not had the easiest road back to work but at least no one questioned how long I was off (3 months) and all Occ Health discussed with me was the phased return. Occ Health are meant to be supportive not bullies. What you feel right now is exactly to be expected at this stage in your recovery. I don't know what job you do but if you belong to a trade union I'd get onto them pretty quickly. No one should be intimidating you by threatening to sack you when on sick leave. There are laws against this. A letter from your GP or consultant may help also. There is some silly information out there that says hysterectomy recovery is 4-6 weeks. My Occ Health mentioned this to me, they got this from some medical body. What that doesn't explain is that the nature of surgery can vary radically in terms of its invasiveness. You had the most invasive. 

    Shelley you are probably at your lowest ebb right now, you have every right to feel this way and shame on your employers. I still feel sore, tired and emotional and I'm now 14 weeks post op. I'm finding my phased return to teaching very tough but I'm trying. At 4 weeks you should not even be thinking about work. I hope you can get your GP on side and please take advice from your Union - join one if you are not in one. Bullies must be stood up to.

    • Shelleyl
      Shelleyl Sally_66

      Posted

      Hi Sally thank you so much for your supportive reply.  After today I really doubted myself and the way I was feeling, I felt a total failure and came out of there and just crIed (maybe the menopause I was rocketed into I don't know).  I'm a social worker and my job involves tremendous stress.  Due to the lack of bodies in the team I know when I do return to work phased return or not I will be in the deep end without a paddle I have seen it so many times before and I am no exception to the rule.  It's a hard and emotionally demanding job and you truly need your wits about you and need to be in a good place if your to do your job properly.  I would have hoped that the doctor would have considered that today.  They are sending the report via email which I should receive tomorrow and then I'm going to take it to my GP to discuss with him.  I think we go through so much physically and emotionally having this op the last thing I needed was someone patronising my recover.  I honestly feel so silly but your reply has reassured me thank you so much.  I am with unison Union and I will take your advice and contact them once I have seen my GP and.

      thank you again Sally and I hope your recovery goes well

      kimdest regards

      shelley 

    • bridy16825
      bridy16825 Sally_66

      Posted

      I endorse exactly what Sally has said, my husband and I are both senior managers in the Public Sector and this is absolutely not acceptable..... Did your line manager have Human Resource there??? I would definetly take Sally's advice re trade union, but also formally write to a Director in HR... check out what your management of absence at work policy also says......more importantly do not do anything to put yourself at risk.....I'm 4 weeks on Thursday and still taking naproxen at night and paracetamol during the day...if your in pain you won't move around much and that will possibly create further problems for you.....I know this is a vulnerable time but don't let your employers take advantage of that....you may also want to consider ringing citizens advice.... Good luck...keep us posted x
    • Shelleyl
      Shelleyl bridy16825

      Posted

      Hi thank you for your reply.  My manager is quite a bully and I've been having problems with her since I have been off. When she came out she came out alone but rang me last week to say that I would need to attend a meeting with her and HR this week at the office.  To date I still haven't heard when this is taking place.  Prior to my operation I recieved a telephone call from HR stating that as my sick pay had ceased if I could not give a date that I would be returning to work tHen they would look at terminating my employment.  My manager at the time said that she knew nothing about this.  I was in despair at the time and contacted the union who advised that by law they could but he would hope out of principle they wouldn't.  He emailed HR and my manager and within the hour my manager telephoned to apologise stating that there was a misunderstanding.  It's been awful and to think that a caring profession can be so uncaring is just beyond belief.  After yesterday's appointment I just feel as though they are all in cahoots together and dread the next step.  I have tried to contact the union again today and left a message on the answerphone. A part of me is really anxious as I don't want my manager making problems for me as she made it quite clear last time that she did not appreciate the fact of me contacting the union"

      thank you for your reply I will keep you posted.

      kindest regards

      Shelley xx

  • christelle48036
    christelle48036 Shelleyl

    Posted

    Hello

    My manager hired a cover teacher for 16 weeks when I informed him of my surgery. I told him I didn't imagine being off for that long, more like 9, but he said that my return would have to be phased and that I couldn't know really how long I would be off so better safe than sorry.

    This manager is not usually the most supportive, but my work environment has a lot of women of roughly the same age and a few have had the same surgery or problems so perhaps a precedent has been set.

    I am 4 weeks post abdominal hysterectomy and there is no way I could return to work yet. I managed a 45 minute walk to the shop yesterday and spent quite a large part of today in bed recovering from that. No way could I teach from 9 while 4.30 every day. I don't sit down. You can't sit down.

    Luckily, our occ health person has had a hysterectomy and has previously mentioned on a report that the recovery was approx 12 weeks so, again, possibly another reason why my manager is so obliging.

    You absolutely have to see your union

    • christelle48036
      christelle48036

      Posted

      It is ridiculous to think that one organisation allows a 16 week recovery and another 4. It is open abdominal surgery. Your internal wounds will be nowhere near healed. For goodness sake, you aren't allowed to drive, 6 weeks is the minimum for that. You have to be able to do an emergency stop to be insured. An emergency stop involves the seatbelt clamping onto your stomach. I doubt that you could do that without pain.

      We are not allowed to have sex for 6 weeks, some doctors say 8, due to the risk of infection if the internal wound is not healed. You are not healed.

      I feel so sorry for you and I am very angry on your behalf.

      I am sorry that I can't offer any practical help

      Take care

    • Shelleyl
      Shelleyl christelle48036

      Posted

      Hi Cheistelle

      Thank you so much for your reply. I too told the doctor today that I could not drive for 6 weeks but everything I seemed to say she had an answer for which pushed me into a bit of a corner and made me feel 100 times worse than I already am. I'm so angry and upset and could do without this really but I am going to take advice and if it means I even have to telephone my consultant I will. It's just so upsetting that someone who is supposed to be there to help you can be like this. Thank you again and I hope you have a speedy recovery

      Kindest wishes

      Shelley xx

  • meganmoon
    meganmoon Shelleyl

    Posted

    Hello there lovely . For starters i am absolutely disgusted by the council you work for and.your gp . It seems to me they are all trying to push you to return to work and my lovely only you can make that decision. You are no way a baby. I had a TAH and i will be 6 wks post op next monday and i still alternate between paracetomol and ibrufen. You definitely need to get your union involved honey. They will give you more support than you realise, even if you are not in a union join today and tell them everything. They cannot treat u this way. It is a form of bulkying and i am sure the council have a policy on antibullying. From now on every work meeting take a union rep with you. I never go to a sickness meeting without one. I wish you well in your recovery lovely. Xxx
    • Shelleyl
      Shelleyl meganmoon

      Posted

      thqnk you so much for your reply.  There is no one more than me that wants to get back to normal but I totally feel pushed in a corner.  I have left a message this morning for my union rep and hope that they can help in some way but I'm just anxious that this will rile my manager up and she will be even more difficult.  I have to think of my health though.

      thank you again and I really hope you have a speedy recovery

      lots of love

      Shelley xxx

  • neverstaysstill
    neverstaysstill Shelleyl

    Posted

    Hi Shelleyl

    I sympathise with you, i also work for a council and i have been told the precident has been set by other who have had TAH's and have returned to work within 6 weeks so anyone who has this op is also expected back in 6 weeks. To make it worse my manager had the same op 2 years ago and she sailed through it and was back on the dot of 6 weeks, so like yourself i will be forced to return (albeit phased for a couple of weeks) on the 7th week, unless of course there are complications. I have been told that if i cannot return after 6 weeks there will be a home visit made by 2 managers to assess the situation. Luckily i am in the union and if it comes to this i will have a union rep present.

    • Luckymum
      Luckymum neverstaysstill

      Posted

      I am so shocked at both stories, I also work for local council and my works could not have been more supportive, I have to go to the docs next week as my sick note runs out I will be 6 and a bit weeks, my boss said "call me and let me know what the doc says, and then call OH and let them know how long your new note is for!"

      You cannot be compared to anyone else, you are not them and everyone heals differently and has different problems along the way, good luck xx

  • judy01992
    judy01992 Shelleyl

    Posted

    i'm pre op till next monday, so don't know what to expect after except what i have read here. Everyone heals at different amount of time are you in a union  or speak to someone at CAB if you did lose your job you would have a case of unfir dissmissal. They are bullying you. it's not allowed

     

  • Sandiescan3961
    Sandiescan3961 Shelleyl

    Posted

    You shouldn't feel like you're whinging for nothing you have undergone major abdominal surgery. I had two ceasarians and also suffer with depression and anxiety. We all need to speak to each other and understand why we feel like we do!! Don't ever feel that you are not worthy we can all do that but speaking to people we can see the other side XX

     

  • Jojo66
    Jojo66 Shelleyl

    Posted

    Hi Shelley. You are not being a baby. I had my total abdo hysterectomy with large fibroids removed in December and Im still off work. Do you have a union you can go to? This manager obviously has absolutely no experience of this operation or indeed condition. I KNOW I am not fit to do my job. At six weeks or so I was like you - pottering. What about internal incisions, bruising.Potential issues with bowels. (see this site) It is not the same as a caesearian! Could your GP not fill in a form for you. Mine was asked to complete part of a sickness note. You arenot in the wrong Shelley
  • Luckymum
    Luckymum Shelleyl

    Posted

    Oh my goodness you have been treated disgracefully!! I am so saddened to read of your experiences sad I also work for a local council, but thankfully my experience has been totally supportive, I'm now nearly six weeks and still not driving, in fact my boss actually came out of work yesterday to take me to and from the doctors!!!! I would tell your GP about your experiences, you will most likely find that he/she will be both shocked and supportive, tell him/her that the way you are being treated is making you feel worse, both physically, due to tensing up due to the stress and obviously you will have been very emotional too. Next I presume if you work for a council, you are in a union, get in touch with them and advise them of what has been happening, even if at this stage you feel you don't want to persue the union track you need to record it with them incase you need to refer back at a later date. What your boss and OH dept are doing is nothing short of bullying! Hope you can sort this out very soon xxx
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