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I am currently facing a complete nightmare concerning the surgery I need to have to correct my ugly, hideously disfigured eyes. I am so depressed, I don't know what to do. Basically my disfigurement impacts quite heavily on my life; I have practically become a hermit, I don't like going out, I don't see my friends any more and when I do have to go out, like for example to buy food, I wear dark glasses to hide my ugliness. I quit my job because I could not face people any more and now work from home where I never have to meet people face to face. It has completely knocked all my confidence so I am desperate to have the surgery to correct my eyes.
I had orbital decompression done on both sides and this was successful. Now I need the plastic surgery bit. To start off, I need to have one of my eyelids lowered as my eyes open really unevenly. Unfortunately, this apparently has to be done under local anaesthetic. Big problem is that I have a medical phobia.
I'll cut a long and very distressing story short. I went in for the procedure, it was a totally horrible experience, far worse than I could have imagined. It was incredibly painful, I had a panic attack, I threw up, my consultant didn't have time to do it in the end so I went through it all for nothing at all. I am still disfigured. I do not trust my consultant any more. I am so traumatised by it I have been experiencing nightmares and night terrors as well as deep depression. I am too terrified to go back again - what's the point, now that I know what to expect actually makes is a million times worse and I'll be in such a state that I'll throw up again. Apparently I can't have it done under general anaesthetic (I'm fine under general, don't know what's going on under general. You go to sleep before it starts and wake up when it's over - perfect!) because they need me awake during the procedure.
I've asked for an appointment to see my consultant but that was 4 months ago and I still haven't heard anything - got a feeling she doesn't want to see me.
So I guess my question is what are my options now? Is it possible to have eyelid lowering surgery under general? Are there other procedures that can be done to correct my disfigurement? I'm not interested in anything that can only be done under local - simply not going to happen, not ever. I am so desperate not to look like this any more, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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