advice please!!!!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

won't go into detail but was involved with CID last night,after some nice kind lady phoned them due to her concern as I was in a compromising positiion spoke to a really nice policeman who I had met before following my suiciide attempt back in Jan 2015 he said if I needed to talk to contact him.to ring the police. i am really struggling as I am ready to talk about stuff not that they can do anything as I don't kniow names etc and it happened a long time ago so is there any point? and it is not as bad as what other people have been throuhg and I trhink it is all my fault or is it wasting their time? Sitting here drinking, have supificial cuts and getting in a state as I feel so stupid, useless waste of time and space or am i just being dramatic??????????????????????????? This has been bothering me since last year following a BPD assessment where I was not totally honest and open as I  didn;t or don;t know who to trust. I just wish I had opened up to this guy last night as he did genually seem to care or is that just his job????? I just don;t know what to do.

 

4 likes, 14 replies

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    F to the world and me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am no good to anyone i know I m typing  this in anger but I am very just don;t know, tried talkiing to duty cpn yesterday morning as part of my crisis plan I wasn;t feeling right but told just use my coping mechanisms which didn't work.. Sorry I am getting myself into a state..... better go to bed or something walk maybe? 

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    • Posted

      Hi tina im startin to feel like im on a diwnward spiral tday too. Xx dont go out and walk at this tym of nyt ecspec if drinking the last tym i did that i was airlifted after a 20 foot fall onto a canal towpath.!! Sit and talk to me... i thought id turned a corner & other ppl just cause c**p for me over & over as im a nice person it really is starting to get me down thought i was makin headway!!! Xx ?

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    • Posted

      Hi amanda sorry you not doingtoo well either can;t even bloody type properly, Other people giving you c*** can't you just ignore them? I have been a sounding board for a work colleaguetoday too, she is a really nice person her and me seem to get on really well, she encoruagess me when we go out on walks strenous walks as I;m doing my best to get fitter and it is suppose to help ha f**ing ha.. I'm not good at giving advice orthat good attalking I just kept quiet for such a long time and now wverything has come to the top and I do not know how to cope with it. You have come a long way you have just got to keep going I know that is easier said than done maybe you are just having a bad day, week. Don't worry if I do go out walking I;m likely to step in a cow pat or bump into a cow as I live in the middle of nowhere.to be honest can't be bothered after last night got very cold and wet took ages to warm up. plus I'm tired body aches,

      you just keep your head up high and beleive in yourself you will get there I know you will. XXX 

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    • Posted

      Typical aweiting moderation sorry about that too many **** I thougt that is suppose to stop being moderated. 

      Anyway keep your head up high and belive in yourself you know you cna do it, xxx

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    • Posted

      I'd better go to bed a didn't sleep well last night and actualy feeling tired or  the alcohol is taking effect, better not take any drugs tonight either sensible head. You take care amanda remember we are all looking out for each other. Don't let them beat you down. ?Hark at me, can't do that for myself....night xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Tina lovey. I can understand exactly what you are going through...I had two very, very unpleasant and violent r...s. by people I knew and trusted...she

      Also as a child two men ??? Who were very good family friends. I never reported them either....I was scared...

      But what hurts the most, I used to see this piece of filth on the bus every morning, he always !!!! Targeted a young girl. I knew exactly what he was saying, I remember what he would do to my sister and myself every time we went to our best friends house...and I NEVER ONCE GOT UP AND SAID, LEAVE HER ALONE YOU PIECE OF FILTH...that still haunts me everyday...and nd the other, actually two other attacks were actually planned in advance....please try not to hold on to it, write a letter, report it.., and have it dealt with...I can still remember it like yesterday, and it was, 53 yrs and 47 yrs respectively...don't end up like me, still so angry, and triggered by anything I hear or see on any kind of abuse whatsoever....

      I do wish you so, so well lovey, keep your chin up....hugs, regards and sincere respect young lady....dee xxxxx

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    • Posted

      Never, ever, ever, ever, ever say that you are no good to anyone....you are courageous, wonderful and YOU WERE WRONGED....it was not your fault....much respect, and warmth coming your way...hugs always...xxx
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    • Posted

      Thanks hun. Hope its just a blip. & still be careful tho ,0) xx i can with some ppl some not so easy hard to explain. Plus i have a personality disorder which makes me emotionally more susceptible to everything when not 100%. I do try n thats y im finding a life without ppl is a lot easier for me personally. I dont get lonely. I have quality not quantity as im getting older & so envy bear grylls. But id like more comfort xx cant be arsed !!! Thamks for yr yr reply sweetie wish u well xxxx

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    • Posted

      Hi Amanda

      Not long home from a boring sh day at work, suicidal thoughts just won't go away even with the superficial conversations with people. Exercise class this evening, fed up of making myself do things because I think I should, fed of people telling me what I should be doing when I don't want to do anything except escape. Sorry for the moan, getting to the point of just giving up.

      Hope your feeling ok and managing to get on with things. You look after yourself and take care. XXX

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    • Posted

      Oh bless dont ever worry about having a vent. Its the worst feeling in the world & i dont think anyone whos not experienced being suicidal will ever understand xxx i also wld not ever feel like doing anything when ive been suicidal not for anything!!! The best ive been able to do is continue being a mum i only have one daughter. So i have to go on no matter what... im not too bad today hun. The last few days of last week were horrendous anx wise but fingers xd for u feelin better xx

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