ADVICE PLEASE FOR SOMEONE IN THE DARK

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi,

My daughter had a traumatic event in her life in her late teens and subsequently suffered with anerexia etc.  Having survived all this she has over recent months simply not coped with work and the pressures of life in general in the UK.  For some years now she has been taking Venlafaxine and has had periods when she has regularly seen a psychiatrist.  She has recently come back to live with me and i have registered her with a new doctor and she is seeing a new psychiatrist.  Due to patient confidentiality i am obviously not able to attend the doctor sessions.  She has had her medication increased to 150MG and has told me that she has been having thoughts of self harming.  I am doing everything i can for her on a daily basis as she is unable to do things for herself.  She is so tired all the time and whilst i have seen, i think, a slight improvement since she has been back with me i don't know if this is normal on this medication.  I live alone and just don't know where to turn to for support and advice.  Can anyone help.  I do not live in the UK anymore.  Thank you in advance. 

0 likes, 8 replies

Report / Delete

8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Wendy. So sorry to hear that your daughter is unwell. Depression is such an awful thing to deal with especially when younger. How long has she been on the 150mg of Venlafaxine? I am on this medication and have been in the past also. It usually takes about 4 or 5 weeks at the increased dose to see improvement. Unfortunately sometimes people can feel worse for a short while after a dosage increase. Is the depression worse or is she having anxiety? If there's anxiety she might be able to receive some diazepam to help short term. Is she able to get to sleep at night? Good sleep certainly helps when depressed. It's difficult for you to see your daughter like this and I'm hoping you are getting support while you are helping your daughter. Jackie

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Jackie

      Thank you for your kind response.  She has been on this for some years but this difficult period has been overwhelming for her.  She came close to loosing her life with anerexia and told me that she was at this point again.  Its interesting you say it takes 4 to 5 weeks she seems to think the increase in medication takes affect in 7-8 days.  She saw the doctor again last night and has been give alprazolam 0.25MG to take as well.  Can you throw any light on this.  She thinks it is to help her sleep.  I have looked it up and it appears to be to help anxiety so i presume helping that will help her sleep.  She sleeps a lot though and often during the day too.  She often speaks about being in real physical pain and sometimes says its unbearable.  Is this common with depression?  The doctor also prescribed a pain killer for her take as and when she needs.  Is this common?  

      I am sorry to ask so many questions.

      Thank you so very much for your help i am beginning to realise how many people are suffering with this.  You are amaizingly kind THANK YOU XX

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Wendy. I was wondering if your daughter has been referred to a psychiatrist? I've found that doctors are often not very experienced in treating people with depression. It's so important to get medication tailored to each individual's needs and a psychiatrist is the best way forward for this. I have heard that physical pain is a symptom of depression in many cases too. There are many different things that can help with depression (I've tried quite a few!) If you're daughter is suffering with anxiety as well as severe depression I am wondering if quetiapine would help her? It is an ant-psychotic but is sometimes used in cases of severe anxiety and depression. It reduces anxiety considerably and can boost the effects of an antidepressant. It is taken at night and has the advantage of giving many hours (8+) of unbroken sleep which is so important for recovery. I take it and my psychiatrist has told me it is not addictive like tranquilizers so can be taken long term. As your daughter's depression lessens her pain should decrease. Light therapy could help your daughter too and can help regulate her sleep pattern. It's a recognised treatment for depression. A light box is relatively inexpensive ( I got mine on Amazon for £45). Is your daughter eating ok at the moment? If not it would be good to supplement vitamins and minerals to keep her body healthy while she recovers (B-complex, magnesium bisglyconate, zinc and Vit C can help with depression and anxiety). When your daughter is feeling better there may be treatments that could help your daughter sustain her good health in the future. I received psychotherapy in the past which was a huge help for things in my past which were difficult to endure. I haven't tried it myself but EMDR can help with trauma (maybe this would be valuable for your daughter getting over what triggered her anorexia?). Sorry for the long post! Please tell your daughter she is not alone. There are many, many people going through the same thing and she will get better. Message me anytime. Jackie xx

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi. I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. It's a tough she to begin with. As far as the confidentially agreement, that can be waived off your daughter signed papers allowing you access to her information.... But that had to be up to her.

    But her medication, I have recently bumped up to 150 mg. I'll admit that I have "visions" of suicide, but no plans to do it at all!!!! It's really weird that it happens, but it is common. I'm 53, and in menopause. So I think there's some hormonal connection there. But I take the medication for anxiety. Not depression, but there's a fine line between the two. And if your daughter is experiencing depression due to the trauma, there is cause to watch her carefully. She did tell you about the self harm thoughts, so that's good.

    With every increase in this medication, side effects do increase, and they should settle down in a few weeks. But she needs to talk to her therapists about these thoughts. And you can tell them this information too, they just can respond without hey permission.

    One thing that does work for anxiety and depression is vigorous exercise. It's a fact. It boosts mood. The other thing is diet. You can Google how to boost serotonin in the brain with food. Turkey, dark green leafy stuff, almonds.... It also works.

    I pray, meditate, church, run. Everything in combination keys me on track.

    Hope this helps. God bless your daughter!

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hello Wendy,  Congratulations for being a great mum first and foremost it's never easy to see your child deal with anything that you can't help with, other than just being there.  This is her journey sadly but it can be managed and with time and patience it can settle into a ok place.  I myself have been on Venlafaxine  for about 3 years when I first took it I thought it was a wonder drug first time I didn't have day sleeps in years.  My prescription was for 225mg and I never had any side effects, but of course it is different for everyone.  Joining this group has been a life saver for me people who actually know what we go through because doctors and psychiatrists have no idea at all.  Being tired all the time is DEPRESSION.  Self Harming for me was about trying to let the pain and pressure out of my body of course it doesn't work but you feel like you tried.  The journey is so different for everyone all I can suggest is to stay on these pages, read and research others stories we are the ones in it, and going through it there is no better way to learn than from these wonderful people who share there stories.  Hang in there Mum, love her more and always reach out.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I am so glad your daughter has a super mum like you too help her. Would she not let you go into appointments with her I take my mum or my sister-in-law just in case I forget something. The people on here have been a great help too me especially Nigel and jacqueline xxx
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thank you that is very sweet of you xx.  I have proposed to my daughter that i could come with her if she or the doctors think it would be helpful but as yet she has not taken me up on this.  Maybe she will in time.  It is a very delicate balance between being there and supportive and being perceived as wanting to interfere.  She has been much better today so i hope this continues.  I have only  been on here for a few days but its amaizing, you are all amaizing.  Hope you are having a good day x
      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up