Afraid and alone
Posted , 7 users are following.
I suffer from anxiety and depression I'm currently taking Xanax XR and 150mg Effexor. Today has been a terrible one. I awoke with terrible anxiety and I've had bouts of crying all morning. There are so many people in my life that I miss and I feel so alone and scared. My mind is so troubled by thoughts of bad things will happen to me, I always think the worst. I have no one to talk to about this, I live life alone and l pushed my friends and family away because of social anxiety. Today is Mother's Day and my mom passed when I was just 11 days old so I never knew her. I was raised by my grandparents who loved me so much. I miss them dearly and I cried a lot today. They did so much for me and raised me as there own. When I was younger I never imagined life without them in it. I used to have so many friends and family in my life they have either passed away or moved on. And now here I am, 52 years old alone and scared.
I'm upset and anxious and don't know where to turn for help. Can anyone relate? Please I just need someone to talk to.
Thank you. Don
1 like, 10 replies
julio42427 don73349
Posted
Omg I am sorry to hear that your going thru this . I can see why you woke up this way . It's mother's day and it is haunting you due to your mother passing away years ago. Unfortunately with anxiety it creates us to have lots of stress and that leads to us feeling sick or have panic attacks. I hope your able to get out and walk and hopefully distract your brain . I wish you well in this hard day
don73349 julio42427
Posted
Thank you Julio. Yes I did get out. I went to the cemetery to visit my girlfriend who passed 7 years ago. My mom and grandparents are far from where I live. It's hard because I see restaurants filled with happy family's. And like you said it's worse because of my illness. I didn't think it would effect me so much. . Thank you again for your thoughts, I think I'll go for that walk now.
sayad don73349
Posted
don73349 sayad
Posted
Yes I understand exactly. I read about catastrophic thinking and it was like it was written for me. I always believe the worst will happen and being alone doesn't make it better. With severe social anxiety I isolated myself, and now I have no one to turn to and that's very scary. I imagine dying at home and nobody would know. Or ending up in the hospital and not having anyone to call. I regret not getting married and having kids. My life is full of regrets now that I think about it. I need therapy to stop my negative thinking, but don't think insurance will cover it. I heard CBT works well for anxiety.
Thanks again for your reply. 👍
borderriever don73349
Posted
I was basically brought up by a Surrogate Family and when I was young I lost the Man of the Family and later the Lady when I was in my late twenties. I did not understand the loss I would feel as my Surrogate Mother died with a Dementia quite early on when this condition was more understood.
My real family dynamic was really bad and when I reached my pension age I dropped them like a stone as I found staying in contact was going to be a unpleasant way to continue on through my retirement. I still in a loose way wonder what has happened to them all. Are any of them alive or dead and that sometimes can be very hard
I was close to my Grandparents and I eventually purchased there house of my Father and we lived there for about thirty years. We have now sold that house and we live in a countryside bungalow. That has unsettled us initially selling a family home, although we had to move on and now have very few people around here who know us. Life can sometimes be lonely, although now at least we are more at peace.
Life is very sad when we get older and start to loose those around us who cared for our being. We have to look for activities where we can meet people with the same interests, that is what I do now and am beginning to make friends of people who I never though I would have met.
Try and move on with your life, I am sixty seven soon and I am unable to come to terms with my age as I cannot imagine how much I have aged over the last ten years. All we can do is move on to pastures new, At least we have this site to visit with many nice people
BOB
sandy_so_sad don73349
Posted
Yes I can relate I'm alone too. Not having friends makes it worse.
I've tried but I'm useless so I've decided to just stay alone.
My depression has won unfortunately.
Don't let it beat you.
don73349 sandy_so_sad
Posted
Don't let depression beat you. It's a constant battle. With me I've been on many different meds for depression/anxiety for 15 years now. I'm on Xanax XR and 150 mg. of Effexor. She wanted to put me on a third med but I said no. I'm tired of taking them and I don't want to get dependent on another med.
I want to try CBT but insurance won't cover it. Some places offer counseling on a sliding scale depending on how much you make. I may try that. I need to get ahold of these negative thoughts and the triggers for my anxiety. I'm tired of this illness destroying my life.
Keep fighting. We are not alone though it often feels that way.
Thank you and the best of luck. 😊
jan34534 don73349
Posted
Don have you ever tried the great audio meditations found on YouTube? They have help me tremendously! There are so many of them to choose from and they deal with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, getting a good nights sleep etc...
One that I like is called guided meditation for detachment from overthinking. Search that on YouTube, lie down, put in some earbuds and listen.
another really good one is called hypnosis for clearing subconscious negativity. You don't actually get hypnotized it just teaches you how to clear the negative thoughts away. These meditations are very calming and help us to separate any negative thinking from ourselves. If your having a severe panic attack, you can search for meditation for panic attacks/emergency . Another one I like isanxiety attack cure – self-help anxiety treatment.
try several of them and choose the ones you like best. I do this a couple times a day. Also found on YouTube are positive self affirmations. They help to increase my confidence and lessen my fears. When your brain here's these over and over, your subconscious start to believe them.
you will feel so much better once you get a handle on these negative fearful thoughts. Remember FEAR stands for false evidence appearing real. This pertains to when you think bad things may happen to you. Fear is based on non-reality, it's just your mind going to the negative. You need to turn that around
I highly suggest you getting a copy of the book called mindfulness meditation. It teaches you how to turn around those negative thoughts and live a life of positive thinking and and obtaining peace of mind! It's a great book and very helpful.
when your mind is consumed by fear of the unknown , don't try to fight it off because that increases the anxiety and fear. If you listen to The audio I listed above called Anxiety attack cure- self help anxiety treatment, it tells you how to respond to anxiety and its related symptoms.
feel better soon
don73349 jan34534
Posted
Thank you Jan so so much. I will definitely try your recommendations. I'm fearful now, it's morning so my anxiety is always so much worse. I awake so early before I'm supposed to consumed with fear, racing heart, negative thoughts, the fear that bad things will happen. Does this sound familiar? Why is the morning so rough for me?
Thanks again. I will try the videos when I get home from work. . . I think sometimes I'm going crazy and need to be hospitalized. Is this normal for anxiety disorder?
jan34534 don73349
Posted
You are NOT going crazy Don! What you're suffering with is extremely common to millions of people. for some reason many people feel this anxiety more in the morning. Not sure why but mine gets worse in the morning also. Yes, it sounds very familiar. Like me, sounds like you are suffering from generalized anxiety disorder. Only lately have I been able to control it about 90%. If I wake up feeling the way you do, Immediately get out of bed and play one of my audios I mentioned that are found on YouTube. They really help me to calm down and they change my thinking which is eliminating the negative thinking. Also try the positive self affirmations on YouTube and play them as often as you can. I play them in my car and when I go on a walk. It's actually like brainwashing your subconscious for the better.
exercise is great because it releases hormones that help calm you down and give you a sense of peace.
if you can get the book called mindfulness meditation I think it would really benefit you. It teaches you how to separate the negative thinking from you. It's an excellent book!!
when I get overly anxious I find that deep breathing brings me back to the here and now. What you do is lie down and get comfortable or you can set up… Slowly breathe in through your nose for about four seconds then breathe out through your lips slowly as though you're blowing out a candle. When you're doing this breathing, think about how it feels coming in through your nose , And down your throat and how it feels warmer when you're blowing it out through your lips. This is one example of mindfulness. It brings you back to the present moment when you're having fear or anxiety. This is one thing that is found in that book.
have you ever considered speaking with the counselor about this? That's one of the first things I did and it has really helped me. Sometimes this is hard to overcome on our own, and it really feels good to vent to someone else. They see this on a daily basis and have the tools to help you. Find a counselor that specializes in anxiety and stress .
One other thing is try not to get frustrated if one day you're feeling better and the next you're not feeling so good. It takes time so you have to have a little patience. But be relentless! The more consistent you are The sooner you'll feel better! We have to be a fighter for ourselves! One quote I really like is. " when you feel fear….Dig in with both feet and keep going! "
Make sure you definitely listen to the one audio called anxiety attacks cure – self-help treatment. It tells you how to react to the symptoms. I've been doing it for only a couple days and already notice that it's starting to work for me!
basically, if you react with fear when you notice a symptom, that increases the anxiety which in turn sends out a stress hormone in your body which actually increases the symptom! This audio helps you turn that around.
check the other audios out too!
You can do this Don...... i'm still working on myself but I feel a lot better than I did. Hope you feel better soon 😁🌹