Agony and terrified

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I know it's early but I am struggling so. Anxiety through the roof, depression, nausea, racing thoughts. I am just starting my second week on Prozac. I don't think I can make it. I just want to die. My son gets married in 5 weeks.  How am I supposed to be there like this? I feel out of it and shaking all the time. I feel like such a terrible mom and person.  I'm afraid to take the clonazepam  the doctor prescribed  me. Please help me. I feel so scared and alone.

Laurie

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Laurie

    Just hang in there on the med. And don't be scared of taking the clonazepam when required.. that's what it's there for! You will need it less and less when the Prozac starts to kick in.

    I've been on it for 4 months now and nearly 2 weeks at 40mg. I'm not gonna lie.. it's been a tough ride but I feel I may just be coming out the other side of it now,

    You are going to be ok!! Better than ok! You just need to hang in there and tell yourself that better times are coming! And take the clonazepam.

    Xx

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  • Posted

    Also when your son gets married most of the side effects will have passed so you will be able to enjoy the day x
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  • Posted

    Keep your GP informed.

    I got taken off Prozac after 15 days as I just couldn't cope with the barrage of side effects. Nauseated, vomiting, anxiety *1000, insomnia, weight loss, shakes and sweats etc. Every part of me ached and I couldn't stand it. I was out of it completely delusional.

    I got switched to Sertraline and it's a world of difference. The only side effect I have is low appetite and that's it.

    All I can say is you know your body and if it's not working ask someone. The annoying thing is there is no time limit on adjusting, some say 4 weeks others say 8. It depends on how your react to the drug and it sounds like your unlucky enough to get most of the side effects rolleyes

    Have you seen any improvement at all?

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  • Posted

    Take the Clonazepam. It will help with the shaking, nervousness, etc...... Xanax helped me and they are both very similar.
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  • Posted

    I'm afraid of becoming addicted to the clonazepam. I'm only supposed to take .5mg (1 pill) twice a day. The .5 mg does nothing I have to take the two pills together to get anything at all out of them.

    I cry all the time.

    Laurie

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  • Posted

    Hello laurie,

    please dont feel that you are a terrible mum, these are your depressed thoughts and not real! You are worthy and a great mum, you are just going through a rough patch in life. Anxiety is an awful condition, it makes your mind so tired and you have so many doubts and worries which are magnified.

    I have been where you are now, but i am getting through the anxiety, the depression it causes. The meds work but so very slowly, you will be smiling again soon, laughing and seeing the sun shine. i had  to increase at 8 weeks, now its 6 months on prozac and i can see the improvement every day.

    my daughter says she is proud of me as i went to sydney to see her, last year i couldnt even go in a car alone without taking a valium. You will be given back your confidence be positive of that always, take each day as it comes. Keep your mind busy, eat well. Walk a little, see people,talk about how you feel to someone you trust.

    tell yourself over and over you are strong and will get through this with patience, go easy on yourself.

    you are doing your best, dont rush recovery as it will happen in its own time, and dont compare yourself to others, we are all different and recovery happens at different rates.

    you will be fine for the wedding, positive thoughts every day and as you go to bed at night! Forward march,little steps lead to giant leaps!

    good luck,

    🌺🌸🌷

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    • Posted

      Carol, thank you so much for you kind, supportive words. I have read them over and over again when I need a lift. I am trying to think positive as much as possible but you know the anxiety and depression can really weigh a person down. I hope you continue to improve and have a wonderful, happy, peaceful life.

      Laurie

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    • Posted

      Hi Laurie,

      Im glad my words are of help to you, there is lots of good advice here, you will find support when you need it most.

      Today is a down day but i know as the day goes on i will feel better, just push myself to stay busy.  Its been pouring rain here In QLD going out in it isnt a pleasing idea. 

      Im making pumpkin soup and maybe some apple muffins, for something to do other than cleaning house. Stay focused on the days ahead as you start to feel better it will happen! Be patient.

      🤗😘😉😁

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  • Posted

    Having a terrible  morning. Anxiety, nausea, the shakes. .5mg of clonazepam not helping. I just don't want to go on like this. I'm afraid it will never get better. I'm so scared.  

    Laurie

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    • Posted

      It will get better!!

      I was like you.. I really thought I was gonna be stuck in that horrible state forever, and I thought if I am I can't go on.

      You brain needs time to heal. People with a broken leg take months to heal and so will this.

      I'm 4 months in and only in the last couple of weeks I've started to have more good days than bad. I went up to 40mg too.

      Go watch a good tv show or movie.. go for a walk. An idle mind is the devils playground.

      Xx

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    • Posted

      Thank you Ria, I can use all the support I can get. 

      I hope you continue to heal and have a happy life.

      Laurie

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  • Posted

    You are not alone.  We all understand because we've all been through it.  Maybe our side effects were different, but we've all been at the exact point you are at.  You will make it.  This is not like mending a broken leg - you are rewiring your brain, so it gets worse before it gets better - but you will make it to your son's wedding and you will be better than you are today - everyone's time frame is different, but know that what you are feeling now is part of the recovery - and it sucks greatly.  This disease is the curse of the stong - you are probably the type of person that takes the world on their shoulders, puts your kids before you, and everyone else for that matter, and try to make everthing right.  You are not weak!  This is not your fault!  Only a strong person can handle what you and all of us have gone through.  You are not a terrible person, the person you were before this is still there, and you will make it back.  But it's hard as hell to have to go through this because your brain is fighting you - let it happen, don't push the recovery because - it has to happen at its pace.  I can almost guarantee you that no one thinks you're a bad person, or a terrible mom - that's the disease talking.  Let them help you, it's okay to take a break from being the strong one.  I was there, where you are, and I made it back - even through I never believed I would despite everyone on here telling me I would.

    When I was going through this, I found this timeline - and while everyone is different and some of my recovery didn't match - this was my bible of hope.  I hope it helps you:

    Week 1: This week can go either way. Some find almost immediate improvement while other see the side effects (see weeks 2-3) after the first day.

    Weeks 2,3: These are almost always the most difficult. Anxiety and depression can get worse than before the medication. Side effects kick in, these can include sleeplessness, nightmares, diarrhea, nausea, hot flashes, excessive sweating (especially at night), dry mouth, muscle twitches, overall muscle weakness and pain, zero appetite, and very negative mental outlook. My advice is, take these one day at a time and try not to get discouraged, not every day will be bad and better times are ahead!

    Weeks 4,5: Some improvement. The side effects lessen to some point, and there are moments when you start to feel normal. Typically evenings are the best and mornings the worst. Many start playing around with dosage at this point because they are told that the Prozac should be working, my advice: hold the course! 

    Weeks 6,7: More improvement. Maybe 50% to 70% better than before starting. There are often blips where you feel just terrible for a few days, but not usually over a week. Some side effects lessen, but also you may get new side effects. Hang in there, you are getting ready to turn a corner!

    Weeks 8-10: Even more improvement. There still are blips, but they are less severe and shorter, maybe 1-2 days. Not normal yet, but getting better day by day. The side effects are usually 75% or so gone. Light at the end of the tunnel!

    Weeks 10-12: Maybe this is wishful thinking for me (I'm not here yet), but this is where most see the best results. Some quotes from this time period: "best in months", "Amazing", "Feel good", "brilliant". Again, this is for the people for whom the prozac did work, not everyone, and for those who stuck to their original dosage. For some, this happens at 7 weeks, for some, 3-4 months. But, from what I have read, 10-12 weeks is the payoff time.  

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    • Posted

      Thank you so very much Ron. I needed to hear all of that. It helps so to hear from others who are or have gone through the same thing. I wish all the best in healing and health for you.

      Laurie

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    • Posted

      Thanks, Laurie, same to you.  Please, don't ever give up!  Take the bad days as a sign that you are recovering.  We may not be able to be where you are, but we are all here for you.  I know you are scared, but you are never alone when you are on here.  You will make it!

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