Alcohol dependant Partner ..... I need some advice please ,going out of my mind with worry

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My partner is drinking 1 litre of vodka a day minimum,he always needs a drink as soon as he wakes up . He is so proud , he doesn't want anyone to know about his problem, I am the only person that knows how bad his drinking has become . Two weeks ago was the worst I've ever seen him - symptoms - shakes , throwing up , his body going into spasms, anxiety , problems walking , pains all over his body - I thought the worst , was he having a stroke , heart attack , were his organs giving up !!! He wouldn't let me ring an ambulance . He was crying , I was , he thought he was going to die - help 

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  • Posted

    Hello Floss, so sorry to hear your pleas.  I can fully empathise with you except in my case it was my son.  We have had to call the ambulance on at least 5 times.  He drank almost a litre of whiskey a day.  The last serious episode was in September when our GP got the ambulance to take him to hospital.  After a 10 day detox, he decided he wanted to go into rehab which he did at the beginning of October.  He booked into a 12 week community based clinic away from home.  Two days ago, after 8 weeks there, he self-discharged himself and is back home with us. 

    Like you, we thought he was going die; he could hardly walk, and eat which is where the GP stepped in.

    Do please get the ambulance yourself even if he doesnt want you to. Hope you are okay. 

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    • Posted

      Hello Sigatoka,

      so sorry for taking so long to reply , had loads going on.

      Thank you for your reply . I am blown away with just how many people are going through this !Im so sorry to hear what you have been going through must be out of your mind with worry .

      To go through 8 weeks and discharge himself too must be so hard. At least he is back home with you is your son now ? 

      I can't believe how much I have learned off the Internet over the last two weeks ..... Appt made with Dr two wks ago, I asked him about nalmafene , he didn't really know anything about it , I told him we were desperate to see someone - but my partner wouldn't go to AA or a rehab . After two weeks , we have finally got an appointment . Because I'm impatient I started to read up about the pill and how they work . Then I was blown away with what booze does to your body - why you get be withdrawal symptoms etc .... I read about Thiamine - so went to chemist and bought them - I urge anyone who is alcohol dependant to take them ... My partner is on 3 tablets a day , the shakes , paranoia , anxiousness has gone !!!! It's vitamin B1 that we all need - alcohols are prone to be thiamine deficient - so fingers crossed they will continue to work until we go totge appt in two and a half weeks . 

      I apologise if I waffle on . 

      I will finish replying to everyone on here - just bare with me . Getting back to the Tuesday my partner was really bad - I really thought and he did that his organs were going to pack in - as soon as i said I was phoning an ambulance - he said he would never spk to me again if I did ! It's one of the worst days - to see the love of your life , in pain , scared etc I felt helpless .. The next day we talked and agreed about a seeing a councillor ... I am the only person who knows about his problem , so I can't thank you all enough for you support on here because I can't to to anyone !! Have to finish now but will reply to everyone . Thank you xx

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    • Posted

      I'm glad your partner is recognising the problem a bit more now Floss. You are right about Thiamine and I always give it along with Librium when I do an alcohol detox with someone. He will see even more benefit from the Thiamine when the alcohol has gone too.

      It is essential that Thiamine deficiency (which is caused by excessive alcohol consumption) is addressed to lower the risk of alcohol-related dementia.

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    • Posted

      Hi Paul, sorry I haven't replied earlier and for the fact I am messaging you on Christmas Eve !

      we went to the Drs on 19th Dec to see a councillor who gave us a diary to write down everyday what my partner is drinking , currently he drinks at least 3 vodka and fresh orange juice on a morning (so it looks like fresh orange , the he goes on to vodka and diet coke - he always drinks a litre a day , sometimes it can be a little more .

      he is having his bloods checked on the 30th dec then we are due back 13th jan.

      she was a really nice lady and the lovely thing for my partner was that she made him feel at ease- he is such a proud person , he is fortunate that he doesn't need to work , this obviously means he has the cash for the vodka , I have finished working because I can't leave him , if I do nip to the shop only left him once this week to do some Xmas shopping whilst he was sleeping and he was in such a mess when I got back , he was anxious and shaking , he'd been sick , today I nipped out for ten mins and he was the same .

      i need to know why he is tired all the time , is this a good sign - I keep thinking at least if he's sleeping he's not drinking ! He can be so unsteady on his legs too which worry s me in case he falls - today and yesterday have been really bad , I keep hugging him and holding him when he gets panicky and shaky , he's been sick twice today , bless him he was so embarrassed - I told him it doesn't matter because I love him and I am here for him - it breaks my heart to see him in pain or scared , 

      i am the only person who knows one of his daughters is 20 years old , luckily she hasn't seen him when he is really bad as he has bad hips today we blamed the fact he was in bed on his hips and medication but he has slept a lot of today - I made toad in the hole , turkey sandwiches and chocolate pudding and thank god he ate them because the day before he wouldn't eat anything ...I'm sorry fo writing loads but I can't offload to anyone ... I mention nalmafene to councillor and she said we would have to get ny partners drinking leavings right down - pls can you tell me ,with the quantities he is drinking now old it help ? And if so can we buy it privately ?

      I love him so much and I don't want anything to happen to him, All he has done today is say sorry and that if it wasn't for me he would have died - he's not depressed ,he said he's the happiest he's been for years thing are great with us - if I was your patient what would you recommend . 

      PIease is there any chance I could phone you - just to ask some advice on what  other help is available .. 

      Also sorry to everyone that I haven't replied to but I don't get much of a chance to get on here . 

      I hope everyone has a happy Christmas x

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    • Posted

      Floss, no problem that it is Christmas Eve. I just arrived back from Exeter (180 miles from where I live) where I started a lady on a detox (at 9.30pm on a Christmas Eve! smile )

      You can call me for advice. I am supporting two clients by telephone through alcohol detoxes over Christmas so one more call won't be a problem. I will send you a private message with my mobile number - I am at my Dad's tomorrow, he recently lost his eyesight, so sorting Christmas lunch at his house.

      I wouldn't expect your partner to be put straight on Nalmefene as he is drinking more than the recommended amount which is advised as approriate for Nalmefene treatment. That is why the counsellor is wanting him to reduce his intake first. In my opinion, that is extremely difficult to do. People tend to do ok for a few days then end up back at the previous high levels, and sometimes even more than they were drinking before.

      The ideal solution, in my view, would be an alcohol detox but I don't know how easy that is to get in your area.

      Not eating is something that happens to people who are physically dependent on alcohol. Insteadiness is also a symptom, as is anxiety. The shakiness is normally a sigh of withdrawal, is this happening when he is trying to drink less? Vomiting can also occur when trying to cut down too much without medical help.

      I would never recommend buying medication online. You can never be sure what you are getting and nobody should prescribe drugs to a person they haven't assessed fully (and I don't mean over the phone like some of these companies do - The most important question in their assessment, to them, is 'what are your credit or debit card details?'

      Call me any time over Christmas and we can have a chat. Sooner the better, in case he is suffering withdrawal symptoms which can get really nasty.

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  • Posted

    My heart goes out to you-I have the same problem with 1 difference, my husband doesnt think he has a problem, he never vomits, but he has been totally legless, fallls down, had the DT's, imagining bugs all over him etc, become violent, and he is 67 yrs old. Called ambulance twice, and they kept him overnight.  YOU have a husband who accepts he has a big problem, and you must go to to the GP with him to get help. He wants and needs help, ,or his liver will pack in, dont let it go on for so long, that now my husband has acoholic dementia starting, his life is on the way down. Daughters wont allow theirkids to be in a car with him, or stay overnight, so it will get worse IF you dont get him help xx
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  • Posted

    He needs an alcohol detox Floss. he must NOT stop drinking without medical help. Get him to see his GP but, in the meantime, he should drink what he needs to in order to prevent withdrawal symptoms (preferably the minimum amount required to stop these, not an excuse to drink even more).

    Alcohol withdrawal can be very dangerous, I cannpt emphasise enough how important it is that he doesn't try and stop drinking without help.

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  • Posted

    Hi Floss, Paul is right, i am an alcoholic at my worst i was drinking 2 bottles of whiskey every day, like your husband i needed to drink in the morning in order to stop the shakes and to function i then continued to drink througout the day, finishing up drunk every night- i had to be medicaly de-toxed on several occasions - it is the only way that is safe otherwise the body will go into shock due to alcohol withdraw'l which can result in seizure and other potentially fatal consequences- he really needs to get proffesional help to stop drinking and hopefully stay stopped- all the best-
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  • Posted

    Hi Floss 1111 ..... I was discharged from hospital 25 days ago and before was experiencing the same as your partner, the same alcohol intake starting first thing in the morning and having the same symptoms ... please re-assure your partner from me that it isn't half as bad being in hospital as he thinks and is completely confidential. The sedative medication, tests and replacement of fluids will bring his appetite back to normal as well. Please tell him from me that's it's not safe for him to just stop drinking and that a week in hospital will sort him out on the first step of the ladder. I feel guilty admitting this as hospital beds are short in demand and hospital staff are overworked, but ..... the second half of the week was me just relaxing on a bed, having three meals a day brought to me along with my carefuly decreased meds and playing on my laptop! .. i feel guilty describing it as a holiday camp but I needed the break as well as to quit alcohol! .... please talk him into being honest with his GP which for me was the hardest part and asking about being booked into a hospital to detox. Another plus was that before my detox, I was always scraping around for money and planning my day around my drinks, now I'm about fifteen quid a day better off and only have to take Thiamine 100mg tablets once three times a day which is basically vitamin B. Ask him if he'd find it easier if you went in with him to talk to his GP or if he'd prefer to go in alone. If he has any questions about my recent time in hospital, please tell him that he can send me a private message or email and I can tell him everything he's likely to expect before he makes the decision to become sober. He doesn't have to tell me his name, I'm only 25 days sober myself so if he has any questions I'd be happy to help XX
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