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Alcohol .depression. barretts osphagus

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dean48614
dean48614

i have had barretts osphagus now for about .9 years or so .I am.32 year old male. who suffers with bad mental health issues and depression . I have had anxiety /depression/panic attacks . self.harming for years now .

I have recently been in and out of mental here hospitals for the last few months .and was told I have emotional .unstable borderline personality disorder.

the problem is I have started to drink a lot more alcohol when down .But I no it the worst thing for me mentally and physically with my barretts. and now I have started to worry about cancer .and it's took me a while to actually care.i get points of not wanting to live and not.caring for my self or anyone around .But I'm at that point where I am trying to turn my life around .for my families sake. as I feel that I am very selfish for what I am and have been doing. But I feel I may have gone to far . worried about my barretts and health

it's hard to think when you are in a place of not wanting to live and cut yourself . But 1 day I want to be a live a s the other day I don't care bout dying .my.mind is constantly in over drive. I never no where I am at . just don't no where to start now with the pain I have caused my.family .the drink I have to stop immediately or that will cause cancer or kill me I could write and write about all the stuff going on in my head etc .dont no where I am at anymore .

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1 Reply

  • andrew57093
    andrew57093 dean48614

    Posted

    hiya dean,

    i am 48yrs and i have suffered really bad mental issues,depression,aniexty and panic attacks and i had thought's off self harming and then i turned to drinking alot off alcohol at home just to take things off my mind but it never does it just got worse.

    i even took my medication as usual on top with drinking only just end it ,as i have no family left and some off my friends couldn't care less if i live or die.

    with me being a gay guy and i was in a violent relationship so i was drinking more and more but thats all history now i have got to look forward but not backwards ,

    now it as come to a stage that i needed help so i went to my first 1-2-1 meeting yesterday and i found it very useful and i have started a plan to either cut down or pack up altogether but it's going to be hard for both off us but there is help out there you have got to push yourself to do it

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