Alcohol .depression. barretts osphagus

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i have had barretts osphagus now for about .9 years or so .I am.32 year old male. who suffers with bad mental health issues and depression . I have had anxiety /depression/panic attacks . self.harming for years now .

I have recently been in and out of mental here hospitals for the last few months .and was told I have emotional .unstable borderline personality disorder.

the problem is I have started to drink a lot more alcohol when down .But I no it the worst thing for me mentally and physically with my barretts. and now I have started to worry about cancer .and it's took me a while to actually care.i get points of not wanting to live and not.caring for my self or anyone around .But I'm at that point where I am trying to turn my life around .for my families sake. as I feel that I am very selfish for what I am and have been doing. But I feel I may have gone to far . worried about my barretts and health

it's hard to think when you are in a place of not wanting to live and cut yourself . But 1 day I want to be a live a s the other day I don't care bout dying .my.mind is constantly in over drive. I never no where I am at . just don't no where to start now with the pain I have caused my.family .the drink I have to stop immediately or that will cause cancer or kill me I could write and write about all the stuff going on in my head etc .dont no where I am at anymore .

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  • Posted

    Hi dean48614

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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