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I am looking for either opinions, or professional advice. I don't appreciate any guilt induced comments, or anyone telling me how stupid I'm being, delusional, in denial, an actual alcoholic. I've been through all of those thoughts myself and have accepted them myself.
Anyway, I went from the ages of 19 to 31 without ever drinking more than 1 day a week, and most of the time it was none. However from summer 2017 I had a bad spell and began drinking 30 units per week, 4 days off. Then from summer 2018 It increased to 5 days, with two days where I drank 1 bottle of beer. The units were around 60 until end of 2019 where I decided you need to be careful. Flash forward to now and I'm drinking only 30 to 40 units a week with 3 days off in a row. This has never felt hard, it was breaking the habit, as I knew there was no addiction.
Now I feel confident by making that change and can control my life better, however I don't think going tee total is right for me, as I suffer from anxiety and if I can keep it controlled then why shouldn't I be allowed to enjoy a drink to relax?
I noticed I had to make a change and I said to my wife, if I can't cut down I'll need help. I've had no issues cutting down and that has made me feel confident.
I have a max number in my plan of 35 units, and some weeks I'll be less, maybe 20 to 30 but I will not exceed that number again.
I don't know why this has happened, but I have been reading up on liver disease and have got myself into a panic over the dangers and I'm scared. That's why I've changed, plus I wanted too, I didn't want to feel like alcohol could one day change who I am.
I am now seriously concerned I've ruined my liver. Like that along with a bad diet I've silently killed myself without knowing and that Is giving me horrendous guilt.
I just want advice or opinions on how bad my liver could be? Or if I'm doomed?
I only feel the guidelines say the weekly units are safe, but don't give information on the risks as you increase. It's very black and white.
P. S I'm 33 years old 6 foot 2 and overweight but still fairly active. I've also been eating better. I don't know what's happened. Fear of death I think is the reason or fear of being ill.
Thanks. Sorry for the rambling. Be honest, but don't be a douche about it.
I just read all the stuff on the Internet nowadays, can't do this or that without risk of death, and I feel most of the time it's just scaremongering. I know if they were to say yes you can do that l, then they'd be held responsible for it. Its all very overwhelming. I'm even scared to eat a takeaway at the moment but that's fine, it actually saves money.
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