Alcohol Withdrawal

Posted , 10 users are following.

I am an alcoholic. I have been aware of this for years now, but afraid to get help for it because I am a single mother of two young children. I don't want my seeking help to backfire and CPS come and take my children away from me. My world would shatter and I would probably want to die if this is ever happened. To give some insight, I do not drink in front of my children, ever. Nor does my addiction cause me to treat my babies poorly. What it does do, is it causes me to treat myself poorly. I barely made it through this last semester of college because I was constantly hungover, taking days away from school to recover, and then struggling desperately to catch up on missed assignments. Which then, added more stress in my life and guess how I "cured" that? Yup, poisoning my body with more alcohol. I don't drink daily, but I have in the past. When my addiction was at its worst. It's still bad, but at least I can wait until the weekend. However, this week was bad. It's the holidays, I had no family or friends to spend time with, and my mom passed away very suddenly around this time two years ago. She was an alcoholic her entire life and it finally caught up with her. You think this would traumatize me enough to stop, but it actually did the complete opposite. It triggered me to drink more than I've ever drank in my life that year I lost her. I was suicidal a I had a few very serious nervous breakdowns. This time of the year is very hard for me. To add to the stress, I've gained about forty pounds. I used to be pretty confident with myself. I was a small 120 lbs, now I'm 160. I can't even look myself in the mirror. How I hate myself for being so weak. But what I hate the most about myself, is how selfish I'm being. I'm potentially putting my children through the same thing I went through with losing my mother at a young age. If I keep this up, my children will know that pain too. How selfish of me? How can I do that to them? This weekend was my rock bottom. I'm truly ready to quit, but first I need help detoxing. Unfortunately, I'm too afraid to seek medical help because the system these days are so ready to take children away from their parents for even being breathed on the wrong way. They'll look at me and judge me like I'm just another scumbag. Without understanding where my heart and mind are.

I don't know what to do about this. I'm so conflicted. We live in a society that harshly judges people with addiction and mental disorders. This is why so many people don't get help.

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    There are many people who will offer you sound advice on this forum. I can't say much as your situation is completely different from mine. But quite soon you will get some great replies. smile

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  • Posted

    I was saddend to read your story Jean but you are taking steps big to get yourself some help...This is a real rubbish time of year for you , our stories are similar in the sense I lost my sister suddenly to alcohol many many years ago and it still never stopped me drinking, in fact it increased it as I felt so guilty . I didnt seek help for several years but when I had young children I just had to for all our sakes and went into rehab .. You will get lots of sources of help on here and useful replies..We are all in this thing together, the road is rocky but can be straightened out with the right help..I don't use AA now but in my early days I found it a great source of support ...It's not for everyone though...Keep coming back on here and chatting

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  • Posted

    Again I am disappointed to see yet another person who is the victim of the brainwashing of traditional theory on excessive alcohol consumption. Jean, this is NOT your fault. It's a medical disorder. It is also heriditary.

    You need to put aside the self-blaming and the shame you feel and find a proper solution and ADEfree has pointed you in the direction of some information that should help you.

    You'll get lots of support here.

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    • Posted

      Hi, 

      I would like to pm you personally but dont know how to do it. I have received private treatment through an organisation that took my (large sum of) money and then sent me a private gp who wrote me a 1o day prescription for librium at high doses- starting at 100 over 3 doses- and sleeping pills). Im glad he did it on the one hand (as I really needed to do this this week), but am appalled that he would do this with no follow up or checks of any kind. It seems an incredibly unethical way to make a huge amount of money out of a 30 minute chat with me and a prescription. I think I will manange it myself, but surely there are others who really wouldnt. The initial organisation said a nurse prescriber would come out every day, but turned out he was away... I'm on day 2. Have you ever heard of this before?

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    • Posted

      Yes, I have heard about this secondslong and it is appalling and dangerous. The person doing the prescribing is taking serious risks with their registration and I can't understand why they would do that. Did anybody actually SEE you face-to-face? I've sent you a private message. All you need to do, to do that, is click the person's name you wish to send it to and you will see the Message option.

       

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  • Posted

    HI Jean.. Paul Turner does professional replies all the time! stop blaiming yourself and tomorrow is another day...yes sounds religious but necessary..I like you had small children and it did not stop me but eventually did when I nearly lost it all..do try and we are all here to help and guide you...regards Robin
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  • Posted

    Thank you all for your kind and understanding words. You don't understand how much any little encouragement means to me during this difficult time in my life.

    I am happy to report that today, so far, I am 3 weeks sober. I have not had a drop of alcohol since the day before I created this post. It hasn't been easy, but I am determined to not go back to the place I was at when I created this post.

    I am trying to keep busy the best that I can and some days are harder than others, but do far I am doing better than I thought I would be.

    If there are any tips, resources, food items, or anything you can suggest to me that will either help with cravings or help keep me motivate, your suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Again, thank you to all who took the time out to read my story and send me support. I don't have much of a support system in my life and all of your words of encouragement gave me even more motivation to fight this addiction.

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    • Posted

      3 weeks is brilliant - well done you.

      Wack as much healthy food down you as you can.  I am a soup maker and a smoothie maker - gets the hits of valuable vitamins down you and helps you along.

      This addiction stinks big time - I fight it all the time. 

      We are all in it together.  Keep going.

      I, too, don't have any encouragement - hubs thinks drinking should not be a problem so he keeps a full bar.  Torture for me but that makes me even more determined. 

      You are sure to get some great info on here and non stop encouragement.  Hang in here smile

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    • Posted

      Gwen what a lovely reply to Jean.. Boy you have so much to contend with yourself with all that booze in your house and no support .I think you are amazing !!

      We won't let this addiction thing beat us but  god some days its hard. and those sneaky little triggers that  pop up from nowhere ..little b*******s I call them ..Yep and the addiction does stink big time twisted.. Keep healthy and cheerful  and carry on !  xxx

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    • Posted

      This is a fab forum isnt  it Jean ..Wow 3 weeks sober is such an achievement so .onwards and upwards for you !  It must  so hard for you  without support at home  but you are a  motivated ladyand   have this little family here too, its a great source of support and help here , I only joined a few weeks back  but what could be better than to find new friends who really do understandsmile   ..Be motivated by Gwen's post...It is such  good sound advice   xx

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