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All is well again. Success story

Posted , 10 users are following.

cristina19309
cristina19309

Hello everyone,

I come back to this forum, 8 months after joining. Back then I had just been diagnosed with panic disorder and was struggling with the worst panic attacks..I spent months being absolutely sure I'll end up killing myself and feeling like the floor was melting under me. It's not very easy to talk about it, but I know I didn't find many nice stories to read when I was struggling and I wanted to give someone hope. I've recovered almost completely. My day to day life is as normal as it used to be before the nightmare began. If anything, I should probably be grateful this happened. I lived a miserable unhappy life before the panic attacks started and in 11 months I managed to change everything. Got a new home, a loving relationship, a new job and a kitten to keep me company. All is well and I rarely think about my fear anymore. It is really possible to go from falling apart back to being healthy. Even if it sounds impossible. You need a bit of willpower, discipline and help from your doctor or therapist to succeed and be well again. Don't get discouraged.

7 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • asis48059
    asis48059 cristina19309

    Posted

    Hey there I'm 19 years old I am facing the worst time of my life cannot find a cure for almost 2 years, I would be greatful if u share some details with me like.what u exactly felt and what were your symptoms. My life seems worsy..

    • cristina19309
      cristina19309 asis48059

      Posted

      Well it's complicated to describe but I'll try my best..

      You know how when you breathe it's just a reflex and you do it automatically and aren't conscious of it.. And sometimes when you think about it, your breathing seems to enter manual mode and you become extremely aware of it and have to focus to keep doing it? It was kinda like that..

      I felt like suddenly I was extremely aware of my life to the very second. Time was very distorted and seemed to pass excruciatingly slow. I was terrified and obsessed about how long I felt I still had to live. 40 years felt like a prison sentence. I couldn't go into auto-pilot anymore.. waking up to go to work, coming home, doing things lalala next thing you know 10 years have passed. For me it felt like every day took 10 years and I was terrified that I won't manage to survive it. That I'll get so bored I'll go insane or kill myself. Every time I thought about it I felt like I was going to drop dead on the spot. Just melt into the floor or something. I didn't want to kill myself because I still had things I liked and wanted to do.. but it felt inevitable. Like a sure fact. So I became extremely obsessed with it. Don't know if you're aware of something called a suicide ocd. Lasted for several months and it was the only thing I could think about. Every time I was in the station and the train came it I was terrified I'll lose control and just jump in front of it. Or when I was passing a bridge or anywhere where I subconsciously knew people used to kill themselves.

      The thing about anxiety is.. It's a very personalized hell. It matches you and you alone because none of us fear the same things, and even if we do, we don't think about them the same way..

      And it's unfortunately not a very straightforward fear. It's usually a fear that we don't know we have, that comes out of us in extremely strange ways.

  • Guest
    Guest cristina19309

    Posted

    Great story, Cristina. And you're right, the coping skills we learn when we are experiencing Anxiety and Depression can help us even after we work our way through an episode of it. They can prevent us from falling into that mindset again, if we keep it up. I look forward to being out of my current anxiety condition and feeling great again. Your post has given me hope!

  • Kimbo11
    Kimbo11 cristina19309

    Posted

    Ahh good for you.

    That's really positive. There's hope for us all.

    Well done 😊x

  • shannon48514
    shannon48514 cristina19309

    Posted

    I've had server depression and anxiety /panic attacks for 9 years now. And in the 9 years i have been happy, horrible, terrible, fantastic, bat sh*t crazy and so wise and understanding for my age that I was told I should be a councillor. .. (and i was) I was a volenteer in a crisis line while I was better. Talking people through their depression... it comes on u for a few months then goes away totally for a few months. If ur lucky maybe even years. But it is something that is part of you, like diabetes... it dosent just go away forever... But it can definitely become managed without symptoms for years then BAM it's back. Usually when my anxiety or depression comes back I get even more low because I thought I had beat it. And I just become misrable because it was supposed to be gone now. I put in so much hard work... so don't let yourself fall into the same way of thinking. Just remember my comment and if you ever do happen to find yourself low or anxious again just be gentle on yourself. It isn't you're fault. It's just a curse we flipping have. Just keep in mind that you have the tools to rid yourself of it if you ever need to again. Congratulations on feeling better though. I'm supper happy you are doing better ang getting a deserved break xx

    • asis48059
      asis48059 shannon48514

      Posted

      I'm so sorry u have been through this and I'm happy u feel better now, so I am a 19 year old girl my symptoms are kind of weird I feel off balance I cannot stand straight also anixety from everything u can say fear the thing which is worst which I am going through these days is I feel my soul will come out of my body and there is no bpdy movemnt I suddenly take a move and if I don't move I'll die .

    • shannon48514
      shannon48514 asis48059

      Posted

      i have had all of these feelings asis. still do get it quite often. the light heads dont help. it is horrible... make sure you are sleeping as much as you need to be and staying hydrated. but to be honest i totally understand that sometimes, nothing we do will help make the episode better. i find riding it out and allowing myself to feel crap for however long it takes and then when i have the mental strength to fix myself i do. i get these out of body feelings often enough too. but they come and go. some days worse than others. anxiety is a horrible thing to have to deal with. 
  • dana01526
    dana01526 cristina19309

    Posted

    It’s good to here success story’s when it comes to anxiety. I’ve suffered from anxiety disorder almost 15 years now. I am basically completely recovered and I’m grateful for my life to be on track again. I don’t even remember my last panic attack. Thank god
    • asis48059
      asis48059 dana01526

      Posted

      I'm happy to hear this smile

      How did u actually cure ? I am sick and tired of this

  • gloria-mike
    gloria-mike cristina19309

    Posted

    Congradulations.....can you tell us little bit how you change your life style. How you changed your negitive thoughts.
  • dana01526
    dana01526 cristina19309

    Posted

    Personally I’ve changed my lifestyle through years of therapy, proper diet and medication. Congnitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy groups and numerous support from my peers. 
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