almost 18 years battling bulimia, don't know how to stop

It sounds like you're going through a really tough time.

I've not battled with bulimia, but my anorexia nervosa does incorporate bulimic tendencies which is something I brought up with my previous dietitian.

My first point is it sounds like you need to get an appointment with a registered dietitian (not a nutritionist...there are loads of nutritionists out there, but a dietitian has to be registered under a proper body). You can get referred to one via the NHS, but if you can afford it, I recommend investing in one privately as you can see one for a lot longer and more regularly, which is what it sounds like you need. They can talk you through some of your anxiety issues too, as well as give you some nutritional education to help manage some of the issues you have raised.

Second, some of the other issues you need to get regular monitoring for with your GP. It is concerning, and the longer you leave, the more of a problem they will become.

Finally, unfortunately your cravings are most likely occuring due to irregular eating, and limited carb intake. You mentioned that you have things down to an exact science, well actually we like to think we have control, but even weight cannot be controlled as much as we like, due to our bodies being 2/3 water, hence there being so much fluctuation when we weigh ourselves.

Lack of carbs, and irregular carb intake leaves our bodies craving energy in its most densest form, which is why we end up bingeing. That doesn't necessarily mean we binge on carbs, just other energy dense food. We can't control that, except by regular eating which is balanced with energy.

You will also find this improves your moods.

Really important to get breakfast in too.

Obviously I say this like it's easy, and it's not, but another stat from the dietitian book 2/3 of bulimics recover by learning to eat carbs.

Hope that helps.

First of all - I can't stress enough how right katlouise is about the carbs and cravings. I was a bulimic for 27 years (and I'm still alive and breathing!) Knowing though, is one thing.. being able to, is another but it will come.

I might be wrong, but it seems like your focus is entirely on the food. I am sure you are doing other things that makes life worth-while - like two kids!!

I've been free from bulimia since five years now and I put it down to a)learning what a proper portion is and what it is for b)hypnotherapy c)change of attitude/understanding that it really is not about the food - food is just a symptom

I still suffer side effects (yes, the bad teeth...) and I still have the depression that started it off. The difference is that I have maneged to stop selfharming by purging.

You need to take your time to find the root of your troubles. It is not about the food! The food is only an expression, - even if it can become overwhelming and overtaking. That is only because of two things: a)something else is too painful

b)your blood sugar is playing havoc with your system

Fat is also an important part of your diet. You stop thinking properly when you stop fats. The little cables that makes thinking logical in the brain need their insulation. That insulation is fat.

But please remember: IT IS NOT ABOUT THE FOOD

Yet, if you feel week or dizzy - go to A&E - you might be low on potassium which is detrament to hear function.

Use 'safe' foods - eat little but often. Try introduce a little bit of carb as in potato/sweet potato or rice. Decide on what weight you wish to be and add a kilo. See how you feel.

Go slowly. Be kind to yourself. Remember: FOOD IS NOT THE ENEMY

Food is there to help you really. Food is there to help you digest your emotions, interperate them and perhaps express them.

I wish you all the good in the world!

CamTan