Am I becoming an alcoholic?

Posted , 8 users are following.

Over the past 3 years or so, I drink 4-6 beers OR a bottle of wine per night. I can certainly function, but I am really starting to wonder how big of a problem my problem is. Every morning, I pray and ask forgiveness for the night before, because I feel so guilty about it. All day I tell myself that I'm not going to drink that day.......then of course, I do. I am a woman so I know that my drinking is well above the reccomended amounts. I'm just not sure what to do.

Also, my husband is the only person who knows of my problem. He also drinks daily, but with no remorse. He doesn't necessary think I have a problem.

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19 Replies

  • Posted

    You're certainly on the way to becoming alcohol dependent. Which basically means you can't go a day without alcohol.

    You have to find a way to cut down, their are various ways, but each person is different. Your first priority would be to try and have a couple of alcohol free days per week. Also, long term (you're not long term yet, but it comes around quick) it will damage your health, but not show the physical signs.

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  • Posted

    Hello Sally,

    I am not any kind of expert, but I believe that daily drinking is a problem.

    The fact that you feel sorrow and want to stop... is a problem.

    The situation when you still go on to drink... is a problem.

    Have you spoken to your G.P. or anyone medical, about your drinking?

    Alonangel 🎇

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    • Posted

      I am ashamed too.  However, we have to face up to the fact that we need help.  You now realise that.  There are lots of people developing Alcohol Use Disorder everyday, sad fact of life.

      There are good ways to help.  The Sinclair Method is highly effective.

      Others on this site are more expert than me, about it.

      WE HAVE TO GET OVER THE SHAME...👭

      Alonangel 🎇

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    • Posted

      Some times we have to leave our pride and dignity at the door and go and ask for help. I had to go to my GP and then to alcohol recovery centre to get medication to help me get off the stuff - I was drinking more than you.

      Some times willpower and talking alone, just doesn't quite do it. Better to be ashamed than really ill and upset and annoyed with yourself on a continual basis.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sally, I do feel for you I know its not easy, its harder because ur husband drinks every night, thing is you have noticed its a problem but unfortunately he hasn't admitted it, am sure he feels same as you next day, its a vicious circle I've been there, I do hope you can confide in someone else like a close or a doctor, I wish you both well and hope you can sort this problem out XXX
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  • Posted

    You say - All day I tell myself that I'm not going to drink that day.......then of course, I do. 

    I think you already are an alcoholic...not becoming one sad.

    The criteria I was told to use by many people in therapy...were things like this:

    Is it affecting my life?

    Is it affection my health?

    And more questions but I think the first one you already answered yes to.

    Its clear you are concerned and that you searched out a discussion board.

    Its clear that you are "praying" for forgiveness...so you feel like you are doing something wrong.

    Its clear that drinking alcohol is making you anxious.

    Your husband in all honesty probably doesn't want to tell you he thinks you have a problem...because it seems he has the same problem and if you STOP..he will be drinking alone and that may cause problems because your eyes will be opened to how much he drinks and then his drinking will be affecting you and your relationship.

    Alcohol is tricky.

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  • Posted

    Excessive alcohol consumption, or abuse, harms your health.  That is the bottom line.  And that makes it a health issue.  Please make an appointment to see your doctor and explain to him/her that you are finding it difficult to cut down or stop.  Your doctor may be able to help you in the same way that people are helped by their GPs to stop/reduce smoking.  Or, if your doctor doesn't have the necessary facilities in the surgery, you may be referred to a specialist to help you with that.  You are not alone.

    For many, many reasons having an issue with drinking, or drug use, is associated with being a weak-minded, or morally corrupt 'bad' person.  This belief has been passed down over many years and is, unfortunately, still reinforced today by the media - look at the films and tv shows that depict drinkers or addicts as 'bad' people, and helpless to do anything about their situation, or the constant ridiculing of people like the ex-footballer Paul Gascoyne.  If you are not sure who he is, google him and look at the general reporting of his condition!

    Anyone who over-uses a substance like alcohol will eventaully find themselves sliding so much further down the rabbit hole into extreme problems and ill-health.  Please don't let youself be that person.

    You would not feel ashamed if you got cancer, or diabetes, or high blood pressure, or low blood pressure, or was suffering from arthritis.... would you? Hopefully, you would just pop along to your doctor, explain that you don't feel well, and your doctor would begin to look at options to help you.

    My point is that this is a medical condition and it can be dealt with.  It's great that you have seen things aren't right for you at preset, seize on the opportunity to do something positive about it and ask your doctor for help.  Years ago, it was believed that not much could be done to help someone who drinks too much - now we know, and understand, so much more about this that things CAN be done to give you the additional support that can benefit you and help you get a handle on things.

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  • Posted

    Ok, guys! I have had an alcohol free day! I would love to drink, but I purposely didn't buy any to have at home. I'm excited!
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    • Posted

      Well done. Try to do things so you aren't constantly thinking about alcohol. If you can make it a couple of alcohol free days a week, then great and leave it at that for awhile as your body adjusts.

      If at any time you feel a bit out of sorts, lie down for awhile, let your body sort it out while your mind relaxes. You need to understand that your body may react slightly to no alcohol.

      But most of all, enjoy the feeling, and get ready to have to fill all that time, that you will have, which before was spent doing nothing.

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    • Posted

      Well the time wasn't really spent doing "nothing." I have always taken care of my family, gone to work, done the domesticts, etc. I just drink while I do it all.
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    • Posted

      Okay, well, you're still going to have the feeling of more time, just keep it filled. But most of all, enjoy the good feeling you have right now.
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  • Posted

    Two days, no alcohol!
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    • Posted

      Great, that shows it is more a routine thing than a dependence thing and the former is far better than the latter and easier to deal with.

      As you are passing the first hurdle, you need to have a plan. Where do you want to be, i.e. what would be a happy consumption level for you. If say that were for example, three bottles of wine a week, you might say, Friday & Saturday and a mid week on Wednesday, giving the body a bit of a break for a couple of days.

      If you set down a plan, you will find it easier to stick to than some

      ad hoc arrangement.

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    • Posted

      You know, I'm not sure if it is dependence or routine.....could it be somewhere in between? I have enjoyed feeling "clear" but if alcholol was in my home I'mean 100% positive that I wouldn't be able to resist because I do want to drink. I enjoy it. My husband has also not had any alcholol but it doesn't bother him. Honestly, this thread is helping so much! I can get my thoughts out to non-involved third parties without the fear of being judged harshly.
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    • Posted

      Sally, no judgement goes on here, because we all have/are been in the same boat.

      If you're dependent, you'll usually find a way to get alcohol, because your body and brain tell you to. They need alcohol to feel normal and balanced. Routine is just like, you're on a diet, but there is a cake in the house, so you'll go and eat it, despite not being hungry. Dependent is where there is no cake, so you must leave and find a cake shop and buy a cake.

      One's just lacking a bit of willpower and the other is where the body and mind have been physically changed to make you obtain alcohol.

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    • Posted

      Well I definitely want to hop in the car and go get a bottle of wine or beer! But I'm "ok" with not having it. I'm not sure what would happen if I went into a store though.....I have no idea if I could just walk past the isle...
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