Am I depressed? Advice welcome
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi everyone,
I posted here a few years ago and I'm probably going to ask virtually the same questions again but I feel I need an outlet to at least ask these questions and write these things to someone, as I really dont want to talk to anyone I know.
I'm a 32 year old single male. I have a decent job earning well above average, my family all live close and I dont feel I have much reason to feel as bad as I do, which is why I always end up here, asking if I am depressed or if I'm wasting everyone's time.
I feel useless and that my life is insignificant. I go to work everyday, I dont enjoy it in the slightest and I just watch the clock to come home. I do nothing in the evenings/ weekends, as everything I try to do I cant settle at (I previously enjoyed reading, gaming, films, cooking etc) and I end up doing several things for 5-10 mins then moving on. I cant remember the last time I enjoyed something or was excited about something. So it feels like my life is just work, come home, sleep and go back to work, with few moments of relief or relaxation. My entire existence just feels grey.
I always feel I'm worrying/ down about something and its almost as if my mind searches for the next thing it could be worried about, and if not worries about more abstract things like how I've accomplished very little in my life. I constantly feel down, never happy or cheerful.
My friends would likely be surprised, as I'm often told I am funny/ witty and I get on with most people even though I don't really like socialising outside of my friends. However in my mind this is because I am such a people pleaser, I get on with people because I do everything I can to placate them and make them comfortable. This is the case in my personal and work life. This isnt to say I'm a doormat, I just am very nice to people and I worry constantly about if I've upset people or said the wrong thing.
Is this depression? I feel wrong even using the word as I always think people have it much worse and cope with so much more than me (I often worry about this as well, my life is very steady, if I have any kind of significant trauma in my life I feel I'll absolutely fall to pieces)
However I keep coming back to it and I've felt this way for years, with peaks and troughs. About 4 years ago I paid privately to have several covert sessions with a therapist, however I dont feel it really helped other than just saying it outloud to someone.
Please let me know your thoughts/ advice, they are much appreciated
0 likes, 4 replies
sam18386 jake1989
Posted
hi jake, i have seen your post before i think! i think having read your post that you are stuck in a rut. depression is different to what you feel but you carry on and you may well end up with depression. you need to do something to break out of doing this! in the evening doing something else, or try? depression in its strongest form might knock in to bed, you may not get up, brush your hair or teeth, get dressed, get washed etc. very mild depression might mean you can mask how you feel, you speak to nobody, see nobody or smile when you're crying inside. when i feel depressed i shut the door, bolt it, turn off my phone, speak to no-one and sit and cry, i don't eat, wash or brush my hair or get dressed. depression is the blackest of blacks. nothing cheers you. this could be depression for you. see your doctor and ask for some support. i hope this helps.
jan34534 jake1989
Posted
yes there’s a possibility you could be depressed. Sometimes it’s a result of not finding any purpose in life. I know that what has really helped me with depression is getting out of my head and doing something for somebody else or for other people. It really gave me a sense of purpose and I could see how my actions of helping other people really benefited them and how grateful they were.! You said you don’t do anything in the evenings. What about maybe one or two days a week getting involved in something like that where you could volunteer, at a food bank , or Activities with kids, etc. there are hundreds of different ways you could help. It’s such a great feeling. I was hesitant at first but I’m glad I started it. If you’re looking for something else, there’s a little exercise, or you could join a men’s group at a local church that does activities. or whatever else you’re interested in. Sometimes we have to push ourselves! Even if we don’t feel like doing something do it anyway and you never know you just might find something that you really enjoy!
flyinggs jake1989
Posted
Yes, you are depressed. What a lot of people don't realize is that depression is a spectrum just like autism. Sometimes life is hard and people get depressed, but they manage to get through it through some of the suggestions listed by others on this thread. However, if you've tried these things and it just keeps hanging around and not getting any better then you are depressed. This doesn't mean you'll be depressed forever. I suggest talking to your dr and getting a prescription. This doesn't mean you'll be on medication for the rest of your life. Sometimes people just need a little boost to get through the toughest times.
Also, many people think depression is only feeling sad all the time, but that's not true for a big group of people. For a lot of people depression is often described as the whole world feeling grey. They're not particularly happy or sad. Everything is just ho hum all the time.
People who are depressed often go to great lengths to hide it from others. This is a classic symptom.
When speaking to your dr make sure you tell him about your people pleasing thoughts as you could also be suffering from some anxiety as well. Often depression and anxiety go hand in hand.
The last thing to remember is medicine takes a couple of days to kick in, but if it isn't working after about 10 days go back and try something else.
Good luck and be proud of yourself for looking to get better before it gets worse.
david57454 jake1989
Posted
hi Jake
I'm a family man two kids a job in media , currently I'm off work with a clinical depression , due to loss of my mother, i started a course anti depressants , side effects are awful, but my starting point was from a very low place.
its very easy to put yourself down when you feel down, being a crowd pleasure is something i can identify with. Maybe you are missing something in your life that your pining for.
The benefits of therapy is to explore all areas things that's beneficial for you to feel more complete.
A good therapist means you connect , they listen to you and you are able to move forward.
Some therapist just don't inspire, then you need to not pursue.
If you look on Councillor website you can see different therapies on offer , give it a go , remember if you don't click then move on. The therapist must get you !!!, not you sitting 1 hour paying money.
Good luck