Posted , 4 users are following.
Okay so i've made a decision to stop taking flu! I'm on 20mg a day and for the first 3 weeks i felt abit wierd and i was ok, didnt really have any side affects, slept loads. But after christmas i've felt no different! I've been up and down like a yoyo, and sometimes i've gone abit manic. I dont like that bit. I'm not coping very well on the flu and think i was coping better before.
It might be a change in circumstances, i've been off work for 7 weeks now, and have more time to sit at home and think about things! Maybe thats why my moods all over the place?
The thought of putting up my dosage scares the crap out of me which is irrational, i dont want to become numb!
My doctor has been trying to get my to take AD's for the last 7 years, even when i was pregnant!, but i always refused. This may sound daft so bear with me...
I always thought of my situation as i'm at point A (depressed) and i want to get to point B (not depressed) but i dont know how to get there!
Anti depressants always felt to me that i would fall asleep on the jounery, so i would wake up at point B with still no idea how i got there!
I want to be awake, i know its going to be painful but i think i need to go through it! I think i'm always going to suffer, but if i know my way i'll remember the route next time and each time i make that jounery i'll get alittle quicker each time!!
I guess what i'm asking is have i made the right decision? Does any of this make sense or am i just being niave? I took the AD's this time because i want to break the chain, there is a history of depression in the family, my nana commited suicide. I dont want my daughter to ever feel the way i do! I am abit confused, maybe alittle mad!lol
Any advise would be welcome
The orb fairy.
0 likes, 15 replies