Am I in perimenopause?

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hi. I'm a newbie on here. 

I had my last baby 7yrs ago when I was 40.  Since then my periods have been very inconsistent. I'll go months with them being regular then I'll bleed for 3 weeks constantly, then I'll bleed every other week. I've had scans, blood tests, etc done and everything comes back fine. 

My moods fluctuate. I'll be fine for a while, then I'm snappy and irritable with everyone. 

In the last 6 months I have been waking in the night sweating and for the last 2 weeks I've had awful problems getting to sleep when I go to bed or if I wake in the early hours. 

My most recent 'symptom' has been my self esteem. I'm so low. I feel so useless and worthless. I feel invisible....Its like no one is interested in anything I have to say anymore.....or am I so hypersensitive that it just feels that way to me?  I'm short tempered with my kids, then I feel like I'm a failure as a mum. 

And I feel so lonely. My partner is no support at all. He complains that I'm irritable and moody, tells me to cheer up etc but wont listen when I try and talk to him about how I feel.  I have very few friends and they are all mums from my daughters school who are a good 10yrs younder than me so have no idea what I'm talking about. 

i have days where I just want to run away. Some days I want to tell my partner to clear off and let me just be alone, other days I just want him to hug me and tell me he loves me and is there for me. 

I know I should exercise and eat healty, but even that is all too much effort right now. 

I have spoken to doctors, but all they say is "its your age I'm afraid, its to be expected" 

Oh and pains in my breasts......thats been happening a lot more recently too. 

I'm so glad I've found this. I'm hoping talking to others who may understand how I'm feeling will help. I need to feel more positive but I just dont know how right now. 

Sorry for waffling on. I'm normally a fun happy go lucky person....honest!  

1 like, 8 replies

Report / Delete

8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Sarah.

    I'm 42 and going through perimenopause.

    I had my daughter at 39 and within a year noticed severe perimenopause symptoms.

    I even remember the year before I fell pregnant I started noticing changes.

    It's not easy and can be very frustrating to say the least.

    I get times when I feel paralysed with perimenopause symptoms - it's horrible!

    This past week and half I have felt like utter crap. That's putting it mildly.

    It can be feel scary and isolating at times.

    Liked you, I've always been a very upbeat, positive person, but I find that this really knocks me for six.

    I've had bloods checked a few times but they come back fine. My g.p told me that they aren't reliable and that they mainly go by symptoms.

    I've had pretty much every textbook symptom going...

    Hope this helps and if you need to chat I'm here. Message me.


    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi, we r rowing the same boat. I had my 3rd & last child at 40. I had a mirena iud inserted after that. Great & normal periods...happy, busy, patient, caring, self assured loving mom & wife. 

    6 moths ago had mirena removed, i had 3 normal 

    Periods, than nothing! I’ll be 50 in September. 

    About 6 wks ago I became a TOTALLY DIFFERENT person. I don’t know who I am,,,I’m sad, mean, impatient, depressed, lost weight, can’t/don’t care to eat, digestive issues, painful joints & muscles, Night  sweats, insomnia, nasty to my kids & husband, antisocial, completely exhausted. Sometimes waking to another room is an effort & not worth it. 

    I’m awaiting a response from my Endocrinologist on a massive amount of blood workforce hormones/nutrients/vitamins & a Thyroid Ultrasound. My GP, a woman, is unfortunately not helping, I feel she thinks I’m a hypochondriac!  I’ve had CAT scans, blood work, colonoscopy, Endoscopy all due to weight loss.

    All clear!!!! That leaves me and probably you...Peri Menopausal.

    This link has been a true sanity saver. We aren’t alone. You are not alone!! My husband thinks I’ve lost my mind...don’t really blame him. I’m paralyzed and so far from who I was, it scares even me.  Venting to others who are living this is a God send. 

    Go to Endocrinologist, get EVERYTHING checked there. Many options on this site are mentioned for relief, I’m hoping mine will be nutritional/vitamins and problem solved. I’ll update as soon as I can. 

    Please reach out if you need!!!

    Love yourself, self esteem is hard now, I understand...stay strong 💪??  

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Sarah,

    I am also Older had My Son at 37 and Have same symptoms just turned 48 . Breasts Hurt Horrible and Night sweats and Day sweats and achy body allover . After my period ends I have bad bloating and Low backaches . Goes away in a few Days . Anxiety at night when trying to fall asleep . Take Xanax when needed at night and Heart palps . also my periods are closer together or later or lighter or really heavy first 2 days can be scary and clots and also gas lol never ends . I have younger friends also . My childhood friends share some of the symptoms i do but seems all women are different .   Been nice coming on here and ready about others symptoms and to know i am not alone . Peri / menopause Hell . My Husband does not always understand either . I Remind him when he forgets . He has learned when i am quiet to let me be . I try to be patient with my 11 yr old son who has been giving me sass lol I Take vitamins Been taking one a Day Menopause has helped and iron pill and also I take D3 at night and B Vito also . Zinc . I try Drinking more water and I am Not good at Going to the Gym . I Feed the Elementary kids at a local school and is a busy moving job so it helps keep me moving . But still i am Tired and Hard to keep moving . Well Hope you feel Better and i will be Happy when My period ends for good and I feel Better .                                                     Take care .. Michelle


    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi sarah, good job you found us sounds like you really need a friend who totally knows what you are going through. It may be that your hormone levels are begining to fluctuate. This is hard to catch. An endocrinologist can order a dr to repeat full bloodworks every 4 wks even 2 wkly if necessary until they can discover for definite what is going on and how best to help you. So first port of call is your dr again and ask to be seen by an endo specialist because you are confused and suffering and need help even if its just advice about what vitamin supplements to take or the pill helps some women going into peri so dont be afraid to ask your dr there are lots of treatments out there. Good luck hun always here if you need to talk. XXX
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Thanks for all your comments. Just reading them made me well up with tears!!

    I like the idea of taking some sort of supplement. I need to look into that as I know I cant take certain ones (e.g st johns wort) as I take medication for epilepsy.

    It does help to vent off to people who understand.

    Thank you 😘😘😘

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted


    I had my last at 35, I started suffering with health anxiety big time. Blood work always normal. Starting gaining weight and have high BP.  Been to ER thinking heart attack but it was anxiety. Head fog, aches and pains, fatigue, no sex drive. I had very heavy periods and had hysteroscopy done, everything ok. Started reading  these forums and realize it’s peri. I’m 55 now,  Anxiety is under control since I know I’m not dying lol and I only get period every 3-4 months but could stop anytime. I still have fatigue and aches and pains and developed ringing in my ears. It is depressing but I do hope once my hormones get to where they need to be then I will feel better!

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Sarah- yes, I also have an 8 year old at age 47, 2 older kids as well, so that makes me a decade older than most of the moms too..and about a year ago I started  having all the crazy symptoms too  and luckily found this forum.. I truly thought I was dying or going crazy with all the horrible symptoms. In the last six months it’s gotten a lot worse. There are times when I have no energy, my body just hurts everywhere, I’ve gained weight, my skin looks awful, and I’m just exhausted and miserable. Not much helps but I try to stay hydrated, take a walk and of course checking on this forum. It helps a lot by knowing I’m not alone. Take care and keep checking in here. 
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted


    Welcome to peri, hun!!😘 everything you've described is everything we've all here experienced to some degree....including partners who do not understand! I was the same age when my symptoms began but I didn't know then that it was the beginning of my change. No Dr actually said these were symptoms. At least yours alluded to it by saying" it's your age." What I have learned on my adventure is that

    Now's the time to take care of YOU! Be gentle and treat yourself. Do things that relax you and make you smile or laugh out loud. I would tell you to start watching what you eat now because it makes a big difference in how you feel.

    If you are a praying person, ramp it up!

    And keep coming to this forum for reassurance that you aren't crazy or dying...and lots of great emotional support can be found here from fabulous ladies all over the world! I'm in a suburb of Chicago but sending you the biggest hug!

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up