Am I Just Driving Myself Mad?

Posted , 3 users are following.

I've posted on here a few times and in other sites as I feel like I am just going round in circles and it's just one thing after the other at the minute!

It started a few years ago with a bout of really bad headaches, sweats, shakes and heart pulpertations which just come out of the blue, I saw a neurologist and had a ct scan which was all normal which was great I thought I could relax a bit now!! Well for a year I was having horrific headaches and convinced myself I had a brain tumor or some awful illness, then I feel pregnant with my second child and everything went away, I had no headaches, no sweats etc it all vanished overnight and through the hole of my pregnancy there was nothing! Now 7 months later and everything is back, it came back 2 months after the baby was born and it's been with me ever since, I have really bad headaches, sweats, horrendous dizziness, pressure in the back of my head, facial numbness and heart pulpertations, I have recently had a echocardiogram and had a 24hr heart monitor which I'm waiting results on, I have an ent app next week about the dizziness as they think it could be my ear as I have a humming noise inside however now last night I don't know what made me check but I have found a lump in my neck on the right hand side half way down, to look at it just looks like my neck is a bit swollen but when I press on it I can feel a lump there, I am now worried sick as Dr Google tells me it's cancer of course and I can't get that out of my head I have managed to convince myself that it must be right because of all the other symptoms I have, I have managed to get a doctors app 2 days before Christmas to see if what they think it is but I'm now worried sick and can't stop touching it (which I know is probably making it worse) I have spent all morning on the internet looking at possible causes and they all relate back to the big 'C'!! I know I shouldn't look on google etc but I just panicked and now I'm panicking even more :-(

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  • Posted

    If you have been diagnosed with anxiety than I'm pretty sure it's nothing more than that..as you know,through all the years with anxiety that the physical symptoms are alot and can be very scary..we are tricked into believing something that is not there..just try to think of something else and relax..
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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply I know I shouldn't stress any worry but it's all I can think of at the moment and I'm tourtureing myself, I have had a cold recently so wether it's that and my glands are slightly up I have no idea but I'm sick of feeling sick, sick with worry and sick poorly sick! I know I've made things worse by looking things up instead of waiting to see what happens but I can't help it x
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  • Posted

    Hi emma I'm so sorry for your pain because I know exactly how you feel, I suffer from this terribly. I think I have cancer also, pancreatic or esophageal. I have a feeling of a lump in my throat lots of aches and pains itchy skin and nausea, it all points to this. I weigh myself constantly like 6 or 7 times a day and if I've lost a pound or so I freak out. I'm googling these symptoms like 10 or 20 times a day. It's hell on earth and I can't live like this any longer. I hate my life it's so miserable and I so wish I could be normal. I started my first counselling session today and cried most of the way through. Have you been to your doctor? Please go and see him or talk to your family. Please keep in touch and let me know how your feeling. I hope you have a peaceful christmas and a much better new year xxx
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    • Posted

      Hi Lisa thank you for your reply! I am just not convinced what the doctor is telling me, there are little lumps and pains in my head and neck popping up everywhere, I've lost count the amount of times I have been and broken down on there because I can't cope with what's going on, I just want to feel normal again, up until 4/5 years ago I felt fine not a worry in the world wasn't checking for lumps and bumps etc, if I got I'll then that was it I was ill then it was over but now I just seem to obsess over everything and I don't know how to stop, I am taking sertraline and propanranol to help with the anxiety but it doesn't help the physical symptoms I have, I appreciate they are doing this and that test but I haven't got anywhere with them, it's almost like I feel they aren't the right tests, maybe I dunno I am going mad and it is all in my head (literally) and there is no cure!! How are you feeling today? Hope you have a good Christmas and new year to, keep in touch is good to hear from people who can relate to how we feel xx
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    • Posted

      Hi emma I really don't know what to say apart from I understand what you are going through. I have all these irrational thoughts also,I really feel that I'm losing control. I haven't been to good today, I'm on paroxetine but been on it for a number of years I actually think they don't work anymore. I totally know where your coming from with the illness. As you said I use to get ill that was it. Now every ache pain sore throat etc I think I have cancer. Hate feeling like this and no one understands. I hope you get the help you need.very and stay strong xx
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