Am I losing my mind? Tremors, restlessness, hyper awareness, and health anxiety
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi guys, I apologize for the long text, but I have to get this out of my chest.
So I've been dealing with bad anxiety for the past 11 years, usually it comes and goes. Earlier this year I caught Covid, and I think it may have helped trigger a serious long-lasting anxiety episode.
When I'm in bed (before and sometimes when I'm asleep) I feel as if I'm shaking internally, my heart is racing really fast (over 90-95bmp) and sometimes the tremors are my own heartbeat.. It pounds in my ears. This generalized tremor sensation only happens when I'm in bed, during the day I have random muscle tremors is small sections of my body (part of my legs, arms, torso, sometimes face) and my hands feel shaky. I can't stop moving part of my body, either my feet, legs, head (I feel like I'll blow up if I don't).
I'm paranoid I may have a serious neurological illness, or that I'm losing my mind completely, and honestly both options are frightening. My doctor told me not to Google symptoms, but I just couldn't help myself.. Obviously there was an array of terrible conditions from cancer to ALS, and now, I'm constantly paying attention to how I talk, how I walk, how I grab things, I keep doing small mental exercises to make sure my brain is working properly, and other small tasks to ensure my muscles are not degenerating. I have an OCD need to check if I have any of the tell tale symptoms of these diseases. It's like a vicious cycle, I learn about a condition that matches my symptoms, I obsess over it, I keep checking my body, I trigger anxiety, which trigger symptoms that match these illnesses... This is becoming debilitating, especially when I'm at the office, because I'm always thinking, "Am I speaking normally? Am I walking normally? What If I pass out? What if I die? What if I start hallucinating? Maybe I'm already hallucinating? Am I even here?" the list goes on and on. I've seen doctors before, I was always told I had anxiety and that was it. I did an ECG, countless blood tests, everything was perfectly normal. Each time I come back from the doctor's office I feel better, and these sensations will subdue for a few days/weeks. But then they come back, sometimes worse than before... My family is also starting to be annoyed by the whole situation, they think that because I was checked by a doctor multiple time, and nothing was wrong, then I should stop worrying, like flipping a switch, they feel (and so do I) that I'm wasting money we can't afford, in basically nothing.. I'm fully aware that my mind is probably doing these things, the odds of actually having something are really low, especially because I'm in my mid-late 20s, but it's as if my mind has a mind of its own. Is anyone dealing with something similar?
0 likes, 1 reply
charled39766 Sofi4563
Posted
sofi4563
I have many of the same symptoms, fears, thoughts etc everyday. I was in good shape for 10 years after a similar anxiety bout at an age similar to yours My father passed away when i was in college and then when i started a family, i had severe panic attacks and health anxiety. like you, i was constantly contacting my primary care and they knew it was me all the time. They started me on celexa and xanax but i hated medication. After a year, i seemed to get better and was back on a more normal path I thought i was good and stopped all meds and the therapy i did for a few months Fast forward another 10 years, and i am now dealing with the same symptoms, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, health anxiety etc i had 10 years ago. i was prescribed klonopin and lexapro . I have been dealing with it for another year, but unless i lean on klonopin, i am still the same. it is such a fight, so hang in there, seek advice and nothing wrong w getting tests to rule things out. Ive had various heart tests, blood tests, you name it Some days are better than others but have to keep fighting