Am I mad or on the brink of death?

Posted , 11 users are following.

Hi there. I apologise in advance if this is rambling and senseless.

I used to be a happy and rational person. This started a good while ago but crystallised around November last year. 

I started getting terrified about my health, in a way I have never done before. Jiggly things were happening and my doctors didn't understand why I was terrified I had some horrendous cancer every time I went back with a new symptom. Eventually I was diagnosed with reflux and given medication but it's all been down hill from there.

I have had so many tests it's untrue.i get terrified every time I feel I'll ( which I do all the time) and jump to the worst possible conclusion.

At the moment I'm terrified I have a particular cancer syndrome as I keep sweating when I eat, or if I'm in a warm room or if I'm stressed. I also go a bit red but not beetroot.

I feel queasy all the time, I also have the sensation of butterflies in my stomach a majority of the time.

My periods aren't erratic but are 24/25 days apart and lighter flow with darker blood. Is this a peri symptom? 

I'm so confused. Scared and alone - don't really have any peers to compare notes with.

I do have a 2 year old son and the fear of my dying and leaving him has made my terror worse.

If these are symptoms is there anything I can do to make them go away? I have a docs appointment tomorrow and any tips as to how not to come across as crazy lady would be really helpful x ps I'm 48, 49 in November x

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  • Posted

    Hi Stella.....here's my very first post from two months ago:

    "So....I'll try to be brief. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder last March, after suffering a panic attack while traveling for business. Since then, I've had a multitude of daily physical symptoms...dizziness/lightheadedness, body aches, headaches, insomnia, night sweats, increased body temperature, feeling weak in my limbs, general fatigue, shakiness....you name it, I've had it. I've just about worn out my welcome at my GP's office, I've been there so often....I've been to the emergency room four times, had an MRI, multiple ECGs, countless rounds of bloodwork, an upper endoscopy...everything comes back clear. So why do I feel so sick all the time? I did have my hormone levels checked, and my doctor confirmed that I'm at least perimenopausal (I'm 45 years old)....could all of these symptoms (and truly, they occur daily) be related to perimeopause? I've developed a serious issue wtih health anxiety due to all of this, because I can't accept that these symptoms are harmless...I'm convinced that something catastrophic is wrong with me. Help!!!"

    As you can see, you're definitely not alone when it comes to weird/inexplicable symptoms appearing out of nowhere....I don't have any answers for you, but I can tell you that this forum is great if you want to vent or get reassurance from other women who are struggling....with respect to dealing with your doctor, just be honest with her/him and tell them everything you're feeling, even if you don't think it's related....it's all a part of the puzzle.  Good luck smile

    • Posted

      Thank you so much. Brought tears to my eyes. I feel so helpless, and I'm not a helpless kind of person. Can't stand another night of waking at 3am terrified of the next cancer. Xxx
    • Posted

      I've been absolutely convinced that I have MS, ALS, Parkinson's, a brain tumor, heart disease, lymphoma, sinus infections that will migrate to my brain, meningitis....you name it, I've thought for sure I was going to die from it....so far, nothing had shown up on any tests, so I'm trying (not always succeeding) to not worry so much....I'm seeing a therapist and find that helps a bit....
    • Posted

      I was seeing one but he said to go away til my stomach has been sorted at the hospital. I was doing really well, but am now slipping back into paranoia. Absolutely fed up, really. I'm just hoping it is peri despite my regular periods xx
    • Posted

      Hi Stella, I've had lots of irrational thoughts and was sure I had a brain tumour, then MS, then arthritis. I've always been a coper so these feelings of panic and dreading things even though I had no idea what they were has been a real shock to me. I've had lots of unexplained symptoms and until I came on here didn't realise that they were probably related to menopause. The Dr has done loads of tests and referred me to all sorts of specialists and  it all comes back normal. Please go speak to the Dr and tell him your fears. Just doing so will be a weight off your mind. He can help put your mind at rest. Good luck. Let us know how it goes. Xxxx
    • Posted

      I understand what you mean....I had been feeling pretty well for a while and then back at the end of May I began feeling all the scary symptoms again....since then, it's been a bumpy ride, and I feel as though I've slipped almost all the way back to full-blown health anxiety....I remind myself that I felt okay yesterday (I even managed a long walk and two trips to the store) but it seems as though all it takes is one bad day to get me down...I think my poor system is just so exhausted at this point that I'm extra-sensitive to every little twinge....today has been a full-on wallow....still in my bed and lots of crying...my whole body aches, but I can't sleep because I'm too anxious....hoping it's because my period showed up yesterday (it was just here last week....ugh).....one day at a time, I suppose......take care.
    • Posted

      Thanks Mooma, I will. I'm hoping he will be sympathetic ( yes he's male sad ) x
    • Posted

      I agree! Too often I think doctors just dismiss our concerns as being all in our heads....not very comforting when you're convinced that you're dying and you're looking for reassurance. And perimenopause seems to be one of those issues that not many medical professionals consider when presented with these symptoms...very frustrating!
    • Posted

      Hi again, As women we always think the worst scenario eh, it's natural. Men have it made in the shade.  It's not fair!  We must think positive and try to change our thoughts when negativity creeps in.  Negativity is always there knocking but just don't answer and let it in.  The start of this menopause journey effects your whole body.  Try to stay positive.  Do something different to take your mind of it.  Go for a walk or visit a friend...hey shopping is always good for us! biggrin
    • Posted

      Hi ladies 

      I think doctors are hopeless ... They don't understand peri at all, look at you as if your stupid, offer you antidepressants and be on your way..

      if men had peri and menopause the world would listen ..

      Jay xx

    • Posted

      I do think that men have their own wee bouts of menopause.  They are changing too.  Mine has itchy skin, hurts to walk at times, harder to get off his chair, now hair loss. biggrin  Most won't admit they are getting older as we try to hide it too.  Maybe even a couple hot flashes I saw him needing a breeze himself but likes to tease me geez.  We need to do more research on this. redface
    • Posted

      Loving 'made in the shade'! I've already been offered sertraline and turned it down - I'd rather try and understand and deal without masking with anti depressants. My gastro doctor has suggested I go listen to calming music.... If only they knew!

      I feel like all the bits that made up me have been thrown in a bag and shaken up and put back together wrong. 

      My face looks like a withered apple and I feel like one too! 

    • Posted

      Hi Stella

      exactly same here I went to a doc here in Spain, all I can say is he was a prat, I went with anxiety concerns being in peri for 9 years all natural, and he was only what I can describe as a unprofessional prat...

      I have family history of breast cancer and I had endometriosis and he suggests HRT what an idiot...  I was told never to take HRT with endometriosis history ... 

      Then suggests antidepressants, like I am depressed, depressed I am not its my body lacking everything.. So never again.. 

      Since I take the B6 and B12 and menapol plus natural and feel tonnes better.. Plus other things that work for me...

      He wasn't a Spanish doctor next time I will see a Spanish doctor ..

      health here is normally very good, but I just got a weak link burk...

      ' All the gear and no idea' 😢

      Jay xx

       

    • Posted

      I remember going to the doc ( when all this started I think) saying that I felt suicidal - like whatever put you in a good mood was just sucked out of me. He told me that if I felt any worse to come back ... Honestly, if I'd felt any worse I would have been a goner!

      Looking back I think this started when I was about 44/45. Then I got pregnant so hormones were all over the place. I've had anxiety attacks since my son was born, but now they've settled into this health thing. 

      I'll remember the endo thing when I go tomorrow. I have endo so get won't be a good idea here then. Going to try B vits - I've heard some really good things smile x

    • Posted

      Hi Stella

      yes give the B6 a try 150mg in morning and Jarrows B12 5000mcg too

      anything is worth a try and they are little bits of heaven ...

      maybe your doc can give you the stronger B6 ...or you can buy it too from stores and web etc..

      biovea is a great site it sells it all Maca good too.. I just rattle I take the lot ..

      but feel dandy so all good..

      keep positive Stella all will be just fine 😃 Jay xx

    • Posted

      Are you on the uk? Just so I know to look for those brands x 
    • Posted

      Hi Stella

      i use to get Jarrows 5000mcg B12 off amazon uk ..

      biovea web site do B6 .. Maca etc and have UK and worldwide shipping.

      i live in southern Spain ...

      Jay xx

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