Am I or aren't I?
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hello all,
I'm not sure whether im suffering with depression so thought it would be best to seek advice from others who have suffered/suffering with it.
I feel tired quite regularly, my moods change constantly, and i have the attitude of 'whats the point in all this?' I mean we all end up in the same place right? Im paranoid about my breathing and how fast my chest is beating, and I only really find comfort when being with my boyfriend, as soon as I leave him i get super anxious. My dad suffers with Dementia and i work full time with Dementia patients in a home, and im maybe thinking this isnt working?
I've been debating going to councelling but i dont really like opening upto people who i dont know, hence why im doing it this way as its anonymous.
I would appreciate any help, im desperate and feel like im going insane!
Thank you in advance.
0 likes, 10 replies
david15680 amy-lee96782
Posted
Hi Amy,
Welcome.
I can't speak for everyone, but you describe some of what I feel at times. Being emotionally compromised is exhausting. In my mind I equate it with being an observer at times with how my mood changes, and not being able to affect it myself. Afterwards I look back and can't believe how dark and sad I present myself, and how hopelessly I view the world.
As I've said to my wife before, afterwards I feel almost like I'm recovering from a hangover. My brain is cloudly, and I'm exhausting in mind, spirit, and body.
If you can channel your thoughts on the care you are providing, and realizing that by being there you are making a difference, does that help you at all? Being a caregiver is hard work, but rewarding. Is it helping you or hindering you is the big question
amy-lee96782 david15680
Posted
Yes, thats exactly how i feel, like my mind is constantly cloudy.
I've been twitching before sleeping and jumping in my sleep which wakes me up, so i get all anxious and panic that something is happening to me. Its hard to explain how i feel aswell as frustrating. I'm not too sure what my job is, good or bad. I'm wondering if its set anxiety off for what could be to come with my dad, and he is my bestfriend.
I'm just so confused!
Hakuna_matata amy-lee96782
Posted
Hi Amy-lee
I think it's normal to worry about things when you see somebody suffering you care about so yes I imagine you are quite anxious not only for yourself but for what's to come for you father.
The panic attacks ( heart beating fast come hand in hand) with anxiety unfortunately maybe some medication would help with that.
I'm not sure if you have derpression as it's very different for each person however another thing you may be suffering from before you label it as depression is general unhappiness you seem to be working in the care environment going home and almost working again leaving no time for yourself and your boyfriend as a couple or just to be yourself this is fine at first but eventually it becomes mundane and almost routine you start to forget who you are and what you like to do for yourself your exhausted so any time you have is spent recouping that's hard for any relationship have you considered respite carers or help with your father or if financially able maybe drop to part time or bank shifts agencies are good to as you earn more and work hours that you want to.
When your head becomes cloudy or like a motorway of thoughts racking try to write them down maybe a spray diagram with the problems and solutions coming off them one less thought in your head to worry about you can see the answer clearly if that makes sense the more you write the clearer the head
Hope this helps you mike
amy-lee96782 Hakuna_matata
Posted
Right now, im feeling shakey, sleepy and like every part of my body is hurting, but when i try to sleep im jumping as im drifting off and waking myself up, which makes me nervous to sleep. I have no idea whats going on, im usually Happy go lucky.
Hakuna_matata amy-lee96782
Posted
I totally understand can you take some time off work maybe a week or two
You sound like your running on empty ignorance is bliss for sure your panicking because you know the outlook and sometimes knowing that is worse than not knowing you know that right
You need to get some rest see your gp Hun I think you need some light medication to help you relax and get some proper rest as you are living in a heightened sense of anxiety
That's why your leg kicks out at night as your drifting it's sub-conscious thought kicking in the transition between sub conscious and unconscious thought normally is smooth but your anxiety won't let your unconscious thought take over because your body is not relaxed
Try some herbal things muscle relaxing bath salts or bombs you know girlie stuff right look for relaxing ones before you go to bed to unwind your body
Hakuna_matata
Posted
JUst remember take yours time in the bath ya know relax don't wash and out lol just lay back spend 20 mins chilling thinking of nothing at all deep slow controlled breathes and watch the difference when you go to bed let us know how you get on
amy-lee96782 Hakuna_matata
Posted
Hakuna_matata amy-lee96782
Posted
Yeah drink although it knocks you out you don't get R.E.M. So it's not real sleep lol so your not rested lol
Keep up with the herbal stuff try to skip the drink and have a nice long soak with candles or soft light and maybe some soft music no metal lol hahaha take one day at a time and make your gp appointment x keep us posted Amy-lee
david15680 amy-lee96782
Posted
Do you try meditation at all? There are a number of good meditative videos on youtube that have relaxing music, guided meditations, and binaural tones. I find these helpful to take the edge of sometimes. Stilling your mind works best with music I have found. It's not always perfect, but it does help me.
Otherwise anything to distance your mind from the rest of the load you are carrying. The bath idea that Super mentions is a great idea too.
sandy_so_sad amy-lee96782
Posted
Hi amy_lee
I also work in care. This sure can set of our anxieties and it does become
Depressing. I work with terminal ill clients. I get anxious and think all sort
Is wrong with me or what could become of me.
I'm sorry your dad is so unwell but try not to compare him with those at work. Think
Of him as an individual who you have wonderful memories with. Try to seek
counseling it will be a great help and it's confidential once you get into it easy the
First time can be difficulty 😁