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Am i over reacting bout my mums level of care

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paulalynn
paulalynn

My mum is becoming worse with her dementia. I do not live close enough to help. she lives alone but my sisters call into her but i am concerned she needs more care and not just maintained . Questions i have are, how long should she be left alone. She does have food and cold drinks  in the fridge and one hot meal  and hot drink a day made for her. She does't seem to do anything but sit at the table as no one can say exactly what she does  Her memory is fading and has become worse over time, no longer knowing us by name, or have a sensible conversation. My sisters sit and do crosswords and join her in,with help she sometimes gets the answer when made very simple for her.  No one is with her during the night. She refuses to go to anyones house and she refuses to have her hair washed and i don't know when she last had a bath. She has become childlike and she does laugh at things which is lovely.. My worry now is my sisters don't want her going into a home as they feel it will not do her any good and they themselves willl feel guilty and the emtions that go along with this is too much for them to bear.  My concern now is she really have the right quality of life living like this. I do not want my sisters thinking i am wading in dictating what they shold do but now i feel she needs more than they can give to her. ;(

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • colin29579
    colin29579 paulalynn

    Posted

    It is a question of safety more than anything.   Is she keeping her home warm?

    Does she leave the house to go shopping,  could she get lost and confused?

    Are Social services offering any help? 

  • colin29579
    colin29579 paulalynn

    Posted

    Has your mum got any grandchildren  or  Nephews or nieces, who could visit her and talk to her   and play board games with her.    They could  look through photograph albums with her  to get her memory and brain working.
  • dave253
    dave253 paulalynn

    Posted

    Sounds like your mother is at the same stage as mine

    The more the dementia progresses the more time family and friends will have to dedicate to your mothers cause

    Having carers to visit is an option, but a costly one,also in my experience you cannot get any continuity in the carers,because there is such a big turnover in staff at these type of agencies

    Dementia is not easy to deal with for the family,but with the "we're all in this together "attitude,you can cope.

    Good luck

     

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