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Am I overreacting? Being Diagnosed with Genital Herpes is sucking the life out of me.

Posted , 5 users are following.

gracefulblithe
gracefulblithe

I came to this site seeing so many others are struggling with this.

About two weeks ago, my best friend of five years and I decided to be intimate for the first time. I really love him as one of my best friends, and everything was going great with us transitioning from good friends to good lovers. After we had sex, a couple days later I started my period. On top of my period, I started getting itchy and burning and thought it was a yeast infection. Took medicine for that and still wasn't feeling any better. Went to the doc a couple days ago and turns out he thinks I have Gen HS so I did a swab test and waiting for the results. He put me on valacyclovir and I've been taking it for a couple days, still not feeling any better. Had flu like symptoms at work on Friday, fever and body aches. I know this will get better, still waiting for results and want this to clear up... Been having suicidal thoughts just feeling like half a human. I know my friends and fam are supportive and loving, it's just not as real until it happens physically to you. I'm on here because I want peace through this and see alot of others having similar thoughts and emotions due to the after shock of receiving this news. Wishing peace for all going through this, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

 

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • Alexinator
    Alexinator gracefulblithe

    Posted

    Being told or finding out that you have herpes sucks, no other way to describe it. However you do learn to cope with it. I got tested and found out I have herpes like 2 weeks ago. Sh*t happens in life, can't get around it. Its actually very common. It doesn't destroy your life like the movies show. Its just an inconvenience. Everyone has had the same exact thoughts you're having now. Do you have to adjust to it, yes. Should you end your life because of it, no. A lot of great people on this site are more than willing to help and are willing to listen to you.
    • gracefulblithe
      gracefulblithe Alexinator

      Posted

      I'm not having suicidal thoughts anymore, but it sure is hard trying to feel love for myself after this. I'm feeling alot better, knowing my fam/friends care and not judging me, it just sucks because I want things to work out with my boyfriend but if they didn't im so scared of the dating process now that I feel unclean....
    • Alexinator
      Alexinator gracefulblithe

      Posted

      Thats great to hear that you're no longer having suicidal thoughts. If you let it control you mentally then you will never forgive yourself. I am in a similar situation. Some days are better than others. I have loving family and friends that care about me. It would be great though to be in a relationship and have someone to tell you everything will be okay. In the end though, there is always somebody out there for everyone. Just have to find them or time will eventually help shape people.
  • Topp
    Topp gracefulblithe

    Posted

    You're not alone in feeling absolutely terrified. I have been having symptoms for like a month now but no actual OB. I didn't know this could make you ill in so many ways, besides the heavy and emotional side of it. I'm with you in shock.
    • gracefulblithe
      gracefulblithe Topp

      Posted

      Oh I'm so sorry to hear... please go to urgent care if you haven't already, the medication they have will clear it up fast if it is herpes. Wishing you peace friend, this is something that shouldn't be looked down upon, it just happens to some of us.
  • gail1023
    gail1023 gracefulblithe

    Posted

    Yeah it is horrible at first. I found out I had it 4 months ago and sometimes I still get upset about it, most recently because of having another outbreak. But as they say it's very common and it's just something to get used to over time. I find it's good to confide in a friend, although they can't relate to it fully, they are very supportive and help you see that you are still the same person and that you just have to not worry about it too much. 
    • gracefulblithe
      gracefulblithe gail1023

      Posted

      I totally agree with you on that. So many people in my life are loving and nonjudgmental, but no one can ever feel the true pain unless they also deal with it physically, emotionally, and mentally. I'm almost better from this one being my first outbreak. I haven't even thought about what the next one will be like, I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. It will take time to get over.... after experiencing this in my body I no longer really view it as something disgusting, it's really a skin issue in a painful place that is embarassing and just sucks all together. But I hear through time you get them less atleast!
    • gail1023
      gail1023 gracefulblithe

      Posted

      Yeah sometimes if I really think about it ,it does upset me again. At the minute I'm worried about passing it on to a new partner as I've just started seeing someone and I don't know how to go about telling them. I don't want to drop a bombshell on them but I know I can't not tell them either.... 

      I think it's about learning about the triggers, and keeping your body healthy, like we should do anyway but now even more so!

  • Guest
    Guest gracefulblithe

    Posted

    I am awaiting test results that will very likely come back positive for hsv2. I am very devestated as you are. I dont feel normal. I look at my friends and they are so carefree and dont have something holding them back. Im now insecure, i feel like im unworthy of people who dont have it. I feel that now i will miss out on many great relationships because of this. If anyone will ever stay with me after finding out i have this, it will be nights of no worryfree passion but instead timid caution so as to not pass it on to my partner. And no matter hpw much you downplay it i feel that my partner will always be somewhat disgusted or hesitant in touching me for fear of catching this and i dont blame them. But ive been realizing this is forcing me to branch out and realize what other things im living for. I dont just live to have sex or be in a relationship. I want to have goals and a good job and start making friends that last a long time. I think ill wait on the relationship end and unfortunately i cant give advice on how easy or hard that will be when the time comes. But you are more than this virus and hopefully youve learned alot about being safe during sex and encourage others to be safe as well. This forum has really helped me because no one knows in my life that im dealing with this. The only time i feel relief from my emotions is coming to this site and seeing other deal with this. If you want you can always message me on here and we can stay in contact during times of emotionally dealing with this, hang in there from the sounds of it it will get better!
    • Topp
      Topp Guest

      Posted

      This is very scary for me too. I'm so thankful for this site. It helped tremendously while I hadn't told anyone in my life yet. This weekend I told 2 of the closest friends and will be telling my family soon because I know they will support me. I had a scare before and my dad hugged me up and loved me up and made sure I knew that I was still just as loveable. We all are.
    • gracefulblithe
      gracefulblithe Guest

      Posted

      Awe hun.... I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. It would be much harder to go through this alone and I feel for you. I think you will feel better once your fam and close friends know, they will help stay supportive and make sure you're staying healthy regardless of how much you do or dont care about your health right now. I'm in a weird state where I'm passed the devastation and now just trying to focus back on my health. I started smoking cigarettes again and I want to quit but everytime I think about it I get p*ssed off and disgusted by myself and want out of my own body. I felt like puking when I first found out. I don't think it's weird to have all of these emotions from something like this. That's why I also like this site alot, I see alot of people who are going through the most similar experience I can relate to. And you're very right, it's not only sex that matters. And hey cheer up about when you do find a partner, my coworker said her daughter got it when she was 16. She's 27 with a loving husband and three kids, all of which don't have it and they don't use protection anymore because he loves her so much. There's someone out there that will love you no matter what. its hard to think about that, for me too but it's true after hearing about her daughter who is living a happy healthy life.
    • gracefulblithe
      gracefulblithe Topp

      Posted

      It's scary and embarassing. It's relieving seeing that so many others experience this, meaning it's more common than you would think. I mean, you could walk into a room and there could be alot of people with it. People just don't talk about things like that. and we shouldn't feel less of people, because this can happen to anyone it just so happened to enter into our bodies. I'm trying to think of it like a cold sore just on a diff part of the body... It's hard but I want to move on past this and forget 
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