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Okay - this is a long one but I really need some help here. I don't know if I'm overly sensitive and being urneasonable or if there is really something larger going on.
Wife and I have been married 5 years. We always socially drank and I never thought much of it. She liked wine, I drink beer. Probably each have a couple drinks a night, probably only 1 at the beginning of our relationship.
My wife MUST have 10 ounces of wine a night. She calls it her glass of wine but by most standards it's two. She is tiny, only weighs about 100 pounds as well. In 365 days she will probably miss 3-4 nights fo this ritual and that's likely because she's either sick (cold etc) or hungover from a bigger drinking episode out with friends.
My biggest problem is that right around halfway through her glass she starts to be dfiferent. I can tell in her eyes and her speech, she slurs slightly and looks a little bit glossy. I totally disconnect from her at this point because I feel like I'm talking to the alcohol and not her.
If she goes out with friends, she is bound to get drunk. If it's a holiday family function, drunk. Not one activity we do can happen without alcohol. Now, on to the bigger issues...
I feel like everything in her life is based on alcohol. If we are getting ready to go out with her sister and her boyfriend it's text messags and video messages about "I can't wait to get our drink on" Or "Wine to my face now please".
Part of me says this is all ridculous and who cares. I guess people our age (30s) do mostly go out and drink and alcohol is a big part of life. My wife functions well, she never misses work, is very responsible. We have a great time most of the time, but the alcohol is just starting to wear away. If I find out we aren't drinking for some reason, my anxiety immediately goes away.
I have confronted her a few times and she always tells me it's just her ritual and not a big deal. She thinks I'm judging her when she doesnt' judge me for playing video games or doing the thigns I enjoy. Part of me isn't sure how to rationalize that me spending a few hours on a video game is very different from her needing wine every night.
Not sure where this rambling is going - any thoughts? Advice? Am I crazy or is she really on a bad path?
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