Am I paranoid?

This may be long, sorry. I was bullied pretty horribly in grade school (beat up, stabbed, lied to, gossiped about, had basketballs thrown at my head, excluded, invited but then uninvited for humor purposes on their end, talked about behind my back, spit at, had homework stolen, pushed down four flights of stairs when my ankle was already broken, to name a few things. It has really affected me more than anything else in my life. What makes it worse, is that my family even started doing it. My parents and my sister talk about me behind my back all the time--anything I say, is wrong. Anything I do, is wrong. I have to try to control what I say to my mom because whatever I say, she is instantly texting my dad and sister about it, complaining about me...and for what? I don't even do anything wrong. I overheard my mom telling my sister that I'm too much in the way, and I tag along too much because those two want to be away from me. My aunt and cousins treat me horribly--they called me a b*tch at my Grandpa's funeral, they uninvite me from holidays, give me nasty looks, etc. This has all left me constantly feeling paranoid of everything and everyone. I feel like I can't trust anyone. When my mom is texting, I am positive it's about me and then I obsess about what she's saying about me. Sometimes I even resort to snooping in her phone, my dad's and my sister's phone. Sure enough, I always find something mean that breaks my heart. I vowed to stop looking, but then I justify it with the thought that I would rather know how they really feel about me, than to be stupid and ignorant and let them get away with it. Now, I'm doing the same thing with my boyfriend. He has even been texting with my mom about me--granted it wasn't bad stuff, but of course I'm upset and hurt. When I initially asked him if he talks to her about me, he said no. Now I find out that he has. He said he didn't want to hurt me by telling me, because it wasn't bad stuff that was said. I am still hurt. I am hurt by everything and everyone. I convince myself that he's cheating on me, lying to me about everything, and I have even snooped through his things, and I'm not proud of it. I literally stay awake at night thinking about things that I'm convinced are true--he's cheating, he's making a fool of me, I start thinking of past fights, and getting angry about them all over again, even if they were two years ago. What is wrong with me? Am I paranoid? Or, are they making me this way? It's not like I am paranoid for no reason--I have reasons, because it's all happened before, and is still happening. I don't know what to do--I'm at my wits end. Driving myself crazy, feeling like there's no hope for me, wanting to disappear. Sometimes I feel like breaking up with my boyfriend because it would be easier for me to be single and alone than to drag someone else into this and always be paranoid of what he's doing or saying. He's never given any signs of cheating but to me, he is. Please help me. I feel hopeless and I just want to be normal and healthy. 

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