am I paranoid about this?

Posted , 3 users are following.

okay, where do I start? a few weeks ago a friendship with this person that I'll name 'One' for obvious reasons, ended and for the reason of me "enjoying to argue" and whatever other reasons.

I'll just say the fiasco towards the end of the relationship was because I called this idiot out for being a complete racist, that also her friend and a friend of another one, that ended it with me because... get this, I called him "stupid" AFTER calling him out for his microaggressions towards me and racial comments. yep, makes sense.

Nontheless, the reason I'm writing this is because of One. Her judging me the things she has, calling me "aggressive", "two faced", "loving of arguments", "dramatic", etc. all the things I despise since I get that from my mother whom I loathe 'cause of it... It's funny 'cause I disagree with alot of them, mainly the 'two-faced', 'loving of arguments' and being 'aggerssive'... and most of her friends are guys, from what I've seen and she's foreign, like me, and has other friends in Poland.

the reason I mentioned her mostly male friends, are because she's attractive and openly expressive and that combo, in my opinion, would just 'nurture' themselves around here, I don't really know how to squeeze this into this message but her main friends are seriously what she calls me, 'aggressive', 'two faced', 'dramatic'... which confuses me, even when she's a feminist (kudos for her btw) and the guys claim to be.

Either way, I can only think of these guys just sugar-coating everything around her, just being a PG version of their 'nice side' and I was an honest guy around, a lil too honest at times, but I never decieved or made her think I was something that I wasn't... fake. 

I go to school with these guys, she doesn't... I don't think she ever had.

Either way, I think she was interpreting my realist-type mentality and way of trying to deal problems (the racist) as me being an aggressive asshat, in comparison to her 'fake' guy friends.

I've only written this to get it out since I need an outside opinion of this, am I paranoid for assuming her oblviousness? Am I the aggressive Asshat she thinks I am? let me know, anything'll be nice.

-Thanks!

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  • Posted

    Luis, Luis, Luis,  why is this under anxiety.  Sounds like relationship trouble, not anxiety.  Judging folks for micoaggressions to me is akin to dissing folks for having a pimple.  I can understand your frustration about the racial stuff but people will have their opinions, good or bad.  Just find more compatible folks to be around and be more tolerant, not only of them but of yourself.  Being a victim is a vicious circle and will not help you grow.  You sound young but that doesn't mean it's ok to be hypercritical of others opinions and micro aggressions are usually enlarged by one's perception when it wasn't meant to hurt anyone.  I am 61 and grew up all over the world.  I have see all races intermarrying, being friends, etc.  it never bothered me because I had lots of friends who were completely different from me and some were great, some were not.  Choose the high road, learn tolerance, and don't put yourself in the victim role and you will be much happier for it.
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    • Posted

      Yes I know, this shouldn't be in the 'anxiety' forum, but I couldn't find the paranoia one.

      I'm not trying to make excuses but I didn't really mean to come off as a 'victim'... There's no such thing in this situation and you'd understand why I used the term 'micro aggression' if you've seen the racist's body language and attitude around me. I wasn't e exactly judging, just stating what I see

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