1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Anxiety Disorders

Am i pushing my girlfriend away with my anxiety???

Posted , 4 users are following.

ben99092
ben99092

im 20 and my girlfriend is 23 she is the love of my life and i have never fell in love like this before we have been together on and off for 2 year now a year ago we split up she had cheated on me while i was on a lads holiday i cant believe anything she says my parranoyer and obsessiveness and anger have always been a problem with us she wants to start a family with me and marry me but how can i when i dont believe a word she says i dont even believe her when she says She loves me! 

Please help i feel so lost and confused and alone! 

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • katie46856
    katie46856 ben99092

    Posted

    Hi

    Firstly I think your really brave to talk about your problem and want you to know your not alone . No one can tell you what the rite or wrong answer is Ben as there isn't one. But before jumping to any big decisions about family ect you need to build a trusted relationship again. only then will you be able to move on or not!

    Xxxx

    • ben99092
      ben99092 katie46856

      Posted

      Thankyou i just need her to see that i dont mean to push her away and i just want her to support me with this hopefully she will 
    • katie46856
      katie46856 ben99092

      Posted

      It may be that she doesn't understand what your going through? Are you seeking any help ? CBT ? Doctors ? Antidepressants ? It may be that she needs to come to all these with you in order for her to understand . My partner also suffers from anxiety so he gets it and knows when to help if your partner doesn't it maybe really hard for Her to know how to help you x
  • phRN
    phRN ben99092

    Posted

    Hi Ben 99092:

    Sorry you feel this way. The real question is: Is your girlfriend the cause of your anxiety and is she pushing you away? The answer is yes. You have every right to feel paranoia and anger. This will subside over time, but not while you are with her. If marrying her could realistically solve some of this untrustworthiness, the distrust will creep up again and you will be stuck, possibly with a fight for child custody. It is not a pretty picture.

    YOU WILL FEEL LOVE LIKE THIS IN THE FUTURE,

    just with someone else who treats you like you would treat them, with respect.

    Some advice: get outside of women and futures at your age. Think broader and make something happen for yourself before making a plan with an untrusworthy person. Travel. Get a career path going. Volunteer helping sick people at a hospital. Do something that makes you feel good, then come back to the question about her. You might not need to question it anymore.

    Sorry it hurts though. 

  • gwen1953
    gwen1953 ben99092

    Posted

    You both need a second chance. You would benefit from Anger Management Classes. Your girlfriend was unfaithful but you say your paranoia was a problem before she was unfaithful. You need to rebuild trust in one another. Do this by talking to each other, if you can't see that you are both part of the problem you will never make it work.
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.