Am Really Struggling with Menopause
Posted , 4 users are following.
I started menopausal symptoms at about 47 but it has gotten particularly bad this past year. I am 53. I stopped having my period about a year ago.
The worst thing are the hot flashes. I have them for about a full 1/3 of the day. Worse in the morning. Anybody who knows knows how terrible these are. I sweat constantly, and it feels like a panic attack, especially when I'm talking to somebody face to face. I cannot wear any clothes, literally. It is winter here and I basically wear tank tops, skirts and flip flops to work with a cardigan pulled over it because I am so damn hot all of the time. Wearing something like winter boots makes me so hot and sweaty I want to scream. Not very conducive to my climate here, where we had a blizzard two days ago. I run a fan on myself 24/7. I was taking HRT - it doesn't do anything.
Lose weight? Yeah, great, I had arthroscopic surgery 10 days ago, so getting back to exercise is going to be a process. I put on a full 35-40 pounds in the last four years due to menopause and mood stabilizer medicine I was on. OMG - I have never been so gigantic in my life - not even when full term pregnant. And - losing weight at 53 is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I barely eat.
I am in a constant rage - at the world, at traffic, at my boss, at my partner - constantly. I can't tone it down. I break things sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I have psychiatric medication, (it's all weight-causing) I have a therapist, I feel like I'm losing my mind.
My therapist is a man. My partner is a man. My mother had a hysterectomy at 30 and knows nothing about menopause. She thinks it's funny, actually. Most of my friends are a little younger than me, or haven't experienced it to this degree. There is nothing funny about this.
The other problem I have with it is psychologically, both in how my appearance has changed, and how people treat you. I have always been considered attractive, it is part of my identity. Now I feel like I look - what - middle-aged? like somebody's mother? So it's really hard to get used to this fat frumpy self where I cant get into any clothes and refuse to buy a size big enough to fit me.
But worse, I think, is how society starts to dismiss you. The thing is, people are scared to death of youth diminishing, and they hate to see it in their face. They think they can be dismissive of you or treat you badly because of it. That p*sses me off because I will not be dismissed and do not tolerate it - so it makes me more loud, and sometimes obnoxious. I will not be dismissed by anyone.
I'm in a conundrum, because personally I feel more confident and sure of myself than ever before, yet I'm in a body/face where people don't take me seriously anymore(?) I'm not a people pleaser anymore, which after 50 years feels so good I can't express it enough. Yet society wants to shut me down, not listen to me - put me in my place. Ha - hilarious.
I could try to validate myself by sleeping with a younger guy, no problem - but the validation is not there, more trouble than it's worth.
So, as I said - people do not understand menopause, I'm in hell and I don't know when it's going to stop. I don't really believe natural remedies work. Nobody in my circle understands. So therefore I am here. Thanks.
1 like, 1 reply
jude84900 laura21869
Posted
Hi Laura,
What kind of HRT were you on? Were they bio identical? Did they contain testosterone? Did your doctor run regular labs to know your numbers? Do you have access to alternative or holistic drs in your area? Have you heard of bio identical pellet therapy?
I hear and understand your story completely. I was there at 55. Periods ended and 4 months later the physical and mental decline was apparent. Hot flashes then freezing cold. Problem with lubrication which makes intimacy difficult. Hair thinning, changes in skin etc. I switched to a holistic dr one who was a general practitioner for 22 years before going holistic. Best decision I could have made getting my life back on track. I'm 5 years in now and the only regret I have is not getting on proper hormone replacement sooner. The right doctor that knows what their doing is paramount! Can't stress that enough. Mainstream docs just don't seem to have the understanding or training to help women at this stage in their lives. Typically they want to treat menopausal women with anti depressants, sleeping pills anxiety pills etc and it doesn't treat and fix the root cause, depleting hormones. Hope this helps.