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For anyone that reads my stuff my intention is not to come across as negative person but simply to share my experience of how the effects of a balance dysfunction can take its toll on you.
My wife is the best and she is so supportive. Today I am particularly proud of her as she did the Bristol 10k in just over 60 mins, shaving 20 minutes off the last time she did it in 2011 and to be honest I am a tiny bit envious.
The reason I am envious is not because of the run itself, but because all I can do is watch from the side lines, but it’s not really watching from the sidelines that bothers me, it’s having to idly stand. This process of idly standing seems to physically and mentally fatigue me. My brain is clearly working its nuts off to keep me upright, and it seems that even if I have something to lean on this only offers a small amount of relief.
The only time I seem to be free of this fatigue is when I am sat down and it’s as if my brain breathes a sigh of relief and says it’s ok, the old boy is sat down.
Today was particularly vile for me as I was on my feet practically all morning and if I am honest it feels as if I’m getting worse. I am getting travel sickness while standing, how ridiculous does that sound? and now I am writing this while sat on my couch with all the feelings of someone who has just been to the fairground.
The reason I know I’m getting worse is because I also did the Bristol 10K in 2011 (2 Years after VN was diagnosed) and although at the time I remember feeling not too great, I did get through it. I just don’t understand why I feel worse 3 years later. Is it because I am sat on my backside at every opportunity? Is it because I’ve given up on exercising (because it makes me feel sick)? I jumped on my treadmill the other week and that made me feel vile for about 4 or 5 days. I went out on my bike the other day and that also made me feel vile for a day or 2….. or is all this just a compensation process I am still going through?
I think I am going to give up on doctors, I’m gonna try a vet instead. A few months ago my cat was very ill. He didn’t tell me he was ill because cats can’t speak, but he looked so ill so I took him to the vets. He didn’t tell the vet what was wrong because cats don’t talk to vets either but the vet was able to fathom out what was wrong and after 10 days the cat was fit and well again.
…..and if the Vet can’t help, I’m gonna ask my mechanic who always good at fixing my cars.
Anyhow tomorrow is another day !
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