Anal Fissure - a story of torment

hello everyone,

just thought I'd share my on-going experience, as I know reading about others with similar symptoms and experiences makes me feel less alone. and this horrible infliction was certainly make you feel that way.

My latest fissure (3rd) is 5 weeks old today. We wont be having a party. the searing pain of going to the toilet isnt there any more, there is some discomforted at that time but nothing like it was. the worry and trepidation of going to the loo remains though. I'm petrified at the idea. it makes me not go properly, and so i end up going 2 or 3 times each morning. the stinging and burning that used to follow for the entire rest of the day has all but gone too. some days better than others. it still feels very tight up and swollen there. still uncomfortable to drive. I get this dragging pain right where the fissure was/is at the back. not more than a 1 out of 10 on the pain scale but just...there. I'm beginning to wonder if it is imagined pain now. I dont seem to notice it when I'm chatting to someone. recogesic took it's time working. certainly not for the first few days as I was told it would, more like 2 weeks before the clamping let up even a fraction. I'm fairly sure this fissure has damaged me psychologically. have ended up with a 2 week referral to CR surgeon as the GP found a lump at the front that he didnt think was a haemorrhoid, but I'm fairly sure that has been there for 20 years. it comes and goes. so whilst I'd normally dismiss this, when the pains kick in I link the two together and spiral down. concentrating on work is a huge challenge. interacting with the family is also hard work. I've ended up in a dark place, now constantly trying to convince myself I'm not dying which is exhausting. layer on top of thay 3 or 4 hours sleep most night and being away from 3am with only my worries and rectogesic as company. if I come through the other side of this, I'll throw the biggest party ever. for now, this has the better of me. I need to continue to start to turn that around.

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