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writing here in attempt to distract my mind and perhaps get some good suggestions. I've been suffering from an anal fissure since 11/2018 -currently. it initially started due to a hemorrhoid a develop in 11/2018 due to some constipation, the hemorrhoid was so bad got thrombosed that I went to the ER and got it sliced open (great awesome no,more painful hemorrhoid) however I know that the ER doc must have cut me other places by accident or because he was in a rush. my PCP diagnosed me with anal fissure shortly after.
*now- quality of life is poor, I haven't been able to work due to this.
*I can't stand, can't sit, can't drive.
*I'm losing ton of my hair from all the pain that I feel, all the trauma that I feel.
*passing stool is debilitating to the point of almost fainting, it is one of the worse pain in the world.
*I bleed everyday
*the spasms, stabbing & burning pain is present everyday.
*I cannot enjoy life anymore, all I think is about the pain and the next bowel movement.
*my pelvic region has been suffering so much due to the painful spasms, stabbing needdle-like pain that recently I can no longer hold my urine.
that area is completely exhausted from all the pain and spasms and my urine leaks out, sometimes all of it, I went to buy briefs recently. I take briefs and extra pants plus a portable bidet everywhere I go (I don't use toilet paper and I got a real bidet At home)
*the pain is something I don't wish on anybody! and I've been through kidney stones, gallbladder rupture, childbirth x2 , and this tops the list easily.
I can't do this anymore guys, I can't stand the pain.
I have an appointment with the surgeon late April (this month)
my GI doctor referred me
still waiting for my insurance to approve the nitroglycerin ointment , it's $798 dollars if they don't approve.
- I take 600 mg of ibuprofen min (scared I might develop heart problems but what option do I have?)
*I do sitz baths
*drink a lot of water
*avoid meat as much as possible and pastas etc
- walk or attempt to at least as much as I can
the pain is described as someone cutting me open very deeply and me feeling the torture pain of it all 100% . then that someone adding a combination of lemon, salt and alcohol and hot salsa and filling up the fresh open body parts with it! 😭
I don't know how to live like this! I don't know if surgery or rectiv cream will change a thing.
I have 2 beautiful children whom I can't even give my best time with because with every step there's pain.
my life has stopped. but the pain increases.
I wish others knew what I feel when I tell them how debilitating this is.
I wish this would go away
God help me please.
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