ANAL HSV-1 ANYONE? ***GRAPHIC PICS*** - EXTREMELY DEPRESSED

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi,

In May 2019 I was diagnosed with herpes type 1 on the anus. I had a horrendous first outbreak. There were small red sores, the whole area became very red, inflamed and painful. My eyes became very bloodshot. Since then I have been very depressed and not been able to enjoy my life. I am now losing the will to live. This has nothing to do with the stigma or anything like that, it is purely a practical issue.

As a passive gay man, having anything go up my bum is now excruciatingly painful, both during the act and for days/ weeks after. It feels like there is glass up there most of the time and is extremely unpleasant. There is redness, swelling and pain in the whole area. The symptoms are pretty much the same as the first outbreak, minus visible blisters.

It seems too much of a coincidence to be anything else, though I have tried all sorts - acyclovir, emollient, haemorrhoid cream, sitz baths, witch hazel, aloe vera and even an anti fungal cream. I am now using lidocaine almost daily just so I can go about my day.  

Anal sex is the only thing that causes it, I even had thoracic surgery last month and not so much as a twitch. I follow a plant based diet with vitamin supplements, I don’t drink or smoke and am very physically active through running, gym and yoga. I am pretty certain that it is linked to the herpes, as that was exactly when all this began - sex is certainly was not like it before. I've not been able to enjoy life since. Perhaps is has permanently damaged my anal canal or something. 

I am now based in Saudi Arabia which is far from ideal in terms of getting medical assistance for this. From my own research, I was thinking perhaps it could also be mycoplasma genitalium, pudendal neuralgia, damage to my sphincter, haemorrhoids (exacerbated by warm/humid climate or even stress from my job as a teacher). Even chronic fissure perhaps (I think there is laceration visible in pictures linked below).

My happiness and dreams have been crushed and it is a struggle just to get through each day. Saudi might not seem like the ideal place for me, but it is everything I have ever wanted. All the guys of my dreams pinning after me, in a paradise of desert and oasis’s. 

I was a virgin until 26, got herpes at 28 in London and that was the end of that. I am 30 now. I am finding it hard to find the will to go on if I cannot enjoy sex ever again. My life has been a huge battle just to get to this point where I know who I am and what I want and it is over before it ever happens. 

I am at my wits end, so if there is anything anyone can suggest regarding the cause or solution it would be appreciated enormously.

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2 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • Posted

    Your story saddens me so. Sorry you're goin through this. I think there is so much that is still very unknown about HSV, especially the acute vs long term nerve issues I read people endure. Seems like so much more than a "common skin condition."

    Have you been to the doctor about all this, especially a proctologist? HSV status could seem so coincidentally related but not really be a factor? I know that may seem far fetched...but could be possible

  • Posted

    im so sorry to hear about how depressed this has made you and i know this was a little over a year old but that just looks like a severe case of hemmoroids especially how it began to darken looking blood filled because they can be. i hope you have found something that helps but most times people use suppositories to try and numb the area, if you find discomfort using the bathroom and sitting through out your day it most likely is just that. and im not sure if you meant you were diagnosed at 28 or you found this issue at 28 but lacerations and this look exactly how internal hemmoroids look.

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