Anger

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Hi, everyone. My name is Kendall and I'm new to this forum. I just wanted to start this thread and ask if anyone here who has anxiety has anger issues as well. Long story short, my husband and I have been married since Nov. 2015, and my anger and selfishness is a contributor to my marriage dissolving. It's incredibly sad and pathetic, because we haven't even been married a year, but instead of focusing on how my husband is feeling and trying to make him feel better, I'm more concerned with myself and try to find ways to place blame and stay angry. I get mad at the littlest things. What do you all do to manage your anger?

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    I'm struggling with it too. I get so angry at the thought of being made to feel little like in my last relationship so that she was better than me. I have problems. Glad we finished cos it wud only hav got worse perhaps physical.

    I hav had to look to past when my bro destroyed my confidence and had practically no relationship with my dad.

    Maybe your standards of how others and urself behave are too high and you don't give much leeway. Basically ur hard on yourself, therefore others. What were you like as a kid?

    • Posted

      thats me phil when I was growing up it wasnt a family life for me yes my parents loved me in their own way but never showed it and i was constantly put down and made to feel i was useless I also went through a period of being bullied by a particular family for about two years and in the early years of my marriage my husband carried on where my father left off but i can say he has changed so as you can imagine i have little or no confidence and i feel that im not good enough for anything but I have been having CBT for some weeks now and she has started to help me change my thinking around. my darling daughter always tells me positive things to try and lift me up and my boys and now my husband are very supportive I dont suffer from anger but just close my self up 
    • Posted

      Your lucky that your husband changed his ways. Shows he really respects and loves u. And ur daughter to say positive things cos she really wants to help.

      Unfortunately I've allowed my anxiety to get on top in relationships cos I have social anxiety so it affects everyone even a partner. Perhaps it's also a case of not finding the right person to be with. The problem is when the doubts about them come and I immediately think this isn't right but I don't talk it through with them cos I think they'll doubt me. So it builds up and ultimately goes downhill. I'm really critical but I guess I don't work on the thoughts to see if I'm over reacting about whether they're suitable.

      I'm 42 and I do like being alone but also get lonely.

    • Posted

      its because i stood up to my husband took a long while because it was in my braver moments he does go back occasionally but I wont put up with it my daughter is an absolute gem I feel so lucky but you know phil you can still be with someone and feel just as lonely  It could be you have built up a barrier within and that is understandable sometimes i feel so uncomfortable when someone does something for me or even gives a compliment because i have never experienced what its like to have some kind but my kids are always there I suppose if im honest apart from two very close friend s they are about the only ones i can trust I am trying though with councilling but yes its hard there is someone for everyone phil you just havent come across her yet 
    • Posted

      Thanks for the encouraging words. When I split up I just never knew if I was throwing away my future happiness or whether I was with the wrong person. It's hell not knowing. Yeah I think I had a barrier pretty quickly.

  • Posted

    Im sorry to hear that schnetier. Ive have never got angry just frustrated at times and when i get like that i take my self off to the grave yard believe it or not Im not morbid but the peace is beautiful yes i have a couple of family members up there but my family know if i visit the grave yard I need time on my own luckily not to often though. this is an excellent page to be on and there will be some people going through what you are and will be able to help. do you have woods or somewhere peaceful to go to when you feel like that im sure it will help my lovely others on here may be able to offer other ideas to help I hope you get through this 

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