angry and bitter

Posted , 2 users are following.

Hi,

I'm not quite sure where to start. I've been married nearly twelve years and these last eight years of my married life have been a tremendous struggle. I have no social life, I quit my job to take care of my now 10 year old and my husband has never been there for me. Although he is a good man at heart he doesn't care about my feelings selfworth. He works all the time, is studying for his master's currently and also has time to go out with his friends not even trying to find out if I'm ok and how I'm dealing with things day in day out just being at home and suffering sliently. I have tried many times through out our marriage that I've been feeling angry, bitter and depressed but he thinks quick fixes are the answer like going out to eat or bringing home something unusual but then he's back to his old self. I don't have any friends where we live now (we moved country) and being married to him has made me lonely and desperate. I'm not in love with him anymore as I feel he never will make the same comprimises for our family as me.  

0 likes, 4 replies

Report / Delete

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Vindhya,

    I feel your pain. It really hurts when one spouse doesn’t see how bad the other is truly hurting. Alone at home in another country, with no family around is tough!! 

    Before you go down the final road, it may be time to give counselling a try. If that is not an option for you, could you perhaps try and find a part-time job, whilst your son is at school? Even volunteer somewhere. Attend a mother and child class. Giving you a chance to meet other mums in your area. 

    After caring for others for so long. You have forgotten how to care for yourself. You will need to find some inner strength to just get yourself out there and start enjoying life again. You may find that you will become less angry at your husband.

    Best wishes

     

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Monica,

      Thanks so much for your reply. I understand what you're saying and believe me I have tried so many things just to get out of this mind set. I also know that it is up to us to create our own positivity in life without dwelling on the mundane aspects of our lives. My anger toward my husband is long standing and I too hope that I can muster up enough positivity in my heart to not feel so much resentment toward him. Thank you for your time and my best wishes to you as well.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Vindhya,

    So glad to read your post! Looks like you are feeling better already. I really wish you all the best for your future and hope it all works out for you. Marriage is very tough at times. But, I guess that is how a couple grows together. As with any situation there are many options. Do what is right for you. Take care. M xo

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thanks Monica. Although I do apologize for not asking about you. Are you here as an observer and to give some freindly pointers or have you yourself been in any type of difficult situation as well? 

      As for me, I have bee trying to focus as I had said before, on the positives but everyday is a struggle for me. I've been a very social person throughout my life until I got married and it's just been a long journey of loneliness. You they say that there's a huge difference between being alone and feeling alone although there are people around you but just not there for you. Aw well.. step by step I guess. 

      TC... and much respect.

      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up