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angry and bitter

Posted , 2 users are following.

vindhya783783
vindhya783783

Hi,

I'm not quite sure where to start. I've been married nearly twelve years and these last eight years of my married life have been a tremendous struggle. I have no social life, I quit my job to take care of my now 10 year old and my husband has never been there for me. Although he is a good man at heart he doesn't care about my feelings selfworth. He works all the time, is studying for his master's currently and also has time to go out with his friends not even trying to find out if I'm ok and how I'm dealing with things day in day out just being at home and suffering sliently. I have tried many times through out our marriage that I've been feeling angry, bitter and depressed but he thinks quick fixes are the answer like going out to eat or bringing home something unusual but then he's back to his old self. I don't have any friends where we live now (we moved country) and being married to him has made me lonely and desperate. I'm not in love with him anymore as I feel he never will make the same comprimises for our family as me.  

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • monicaham
    monicaham vindhya783783

    Posted

    Hi Vindhya,

    I feel your pain. It really hurts when one spouse doesn’t see how bad the other is truly hurting. Alone at home in another country, with no family around is tough!! 

    Before you go down the final road, it may be time to give counselling a try. If that is not an option for you, could you perhaps try and find a part-time job, whilst your son is at school? Even volunteer somewhere. Attend a mother and child class. Giving you a chance to meet other mums in your area. 

    After caring for others for so long. You have forgotten how to care for yourself. You will need to find some inner strength to just get yourself out there and start enjoying life again. You may find that you will become less angry at your husband.

    Best wishes

     

    • vindhya783783
      vindhya783783 monicaham

      Posted

      Hi Monica,

      Thanks so much for your reply. I understand what you're saying and believe me I have tried so many things just to get out of this mind set. I also know that it is up to us to create our own positivity in life without dwelling on the mundane aspects of our lives. My anger toward my husband is long standing and I too hope that I can muster up enough positivity in my heart to not feel so much resentment toward him. Thank you for your time and my best wishes to you as well.

  • monicaham
    monicaham vindhya783783

    Posted

    Hi Vindhya,

    So glad to read your post! Looks like you are feeling better already. I really wish you all the best for your future and hope it all works out for you. Marriage is very tough at times. But, I guess that is how a couple grows together. As with any situation there are many options. Do what is right for you. Take care. M xo

    • vindhya783783
      vindhya783783 monicaham

      Posted

      Thanks Monica. Although I do apologize for not asking about you. Are you here as an observer and to give some freindly pointers or have you yourself been in any type of difficult situation as well? 

      As for me, I have bee trying to focus as I had said before, on the positives but everyday is a struggle for me. I've been a very social person throughout my life until I got married and it's just been a long journey of loneliness. You they say that there's a huge difference between being alone and feeling alone although there are people around you but just not there for you. Aw well.. step by step I guess. 

      TC... and much respect.

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