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Another trip to the ER, how do I stop?

Posted , 6 users are following.

jenn3030
jenn3030

Hi everyone, feeling pretty down today.. yesterday my BP was high most of the day and I was extremely anxious but kept it together until around 10 pm.. then I started getting pains in my chest. I tried to tell myself it wasn't a heart attack but my fear to

1 like, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • jenn3030
    jenn3030

    Posted

    I guess I accidently posted this before I finished...

    To wrap it up, my fear was too strong and I went to the ER.. continued to have pains but all tests were normal except low potassium and they adjusted my beta blocker.. I just wonder how other people cope with not running to the hospital for every little thing?? It's so haRd but I feel like they are going to start knowing me by name.. I feel stupid every time it turns out to be nothing.. my chest still hurts today by the way. . Thanks everyone..

  • shar44323
    shar44323 jenn3030

    Posted

    Don't feel bad about going to the emergency in the past 2 weeks I went to the emergency 3 times. Anxiety stresses us out too much and it will amplify our fears. My fear is having a heart attack so my body acts out on those symptoms even though they're not real. I know from personal experience that the emergency docs and nurses make you feel out of place and sometimes even unwelcome and that sucks because you would expect them to have some type of comfort. Every time I visit the ER I fear that they will began to know my name too, and recognize me and then not take my symptoms seriously. I've been having chest pains too, but it turns out to be gas. And that sucks because it sits right on my chest. Yesterday I don't know how I made it through work because on top of th chest pains I had heart palpitations for a few minutes, but I decided to tough through it. For us anxiety sufferers it's hard to determine what symptoms are real and what are fake, So its understandable to always turn to medical professional. Just don't feel out of place because there's a lot of us who are going through the same as you. My grandmother always told me that it your body feels strange go get it checked out, there should be no shame in that.
    • jenn3030
      jenn3030 shar44323

      Posted

      That's some great advice that your grandmother told you.. I am very anxious today, of course my though us that something was missed last night.. I took an ativan this morning but they are beginning to not have any affect on me. I see a psychitrist on monday and as much as I hate medication I know I need something long term to help me through this..
    • charlotte82836
      charlotte82836 jenn3030

      Posted

      Don't feel bad I can not count how many times ive been to A&E since January with chest pains thinking I'm having a heart attack they do the normal ecg chest x Ray and bloods and just say all ok go home but the last time I went they only did a ecg as I've been so many times lately that they said nothing woukd.of changed in the last weeks ect. I've now requested for a referral to are cardiologist as I want a complete 100 per cent that my heart is fine but my gp said it will only help in the short term as no test is 100 per cent so again where do we as anxiety sufferers draw the line between what's in our minds and what a real emergency. We look for constant reassurance I think but does it really help?? The cbt thearpist I saw said that u have to believe that this is anxiety and not an actual internal body illness it's rubbish I'm sick.of it now
  • ozzie1961
    ozzie1961 jenn3030

    Posted

    Hi jenn;

    I send you mighty HIGS from across the pond.

    I had the paramedics out to me 2 times in the one day 10 days ago , I am always heading to the ER and as we know in here all the obs come back normal.

    I relate to that feeling of being made to feel like i am attention seeking and  a great fool, but trust me you n me and all the others in here are no fools, we are corageous and in tune with our bodys and sadly this rotten thing called ANXIETY just happens to try to tear our daily lives apart.

    Anxiety creates terrible fear in our minds and head and its in the knowing of how to deal with all this bleak overwhelming and depressing thoughts of dying, or i am so sick and other negative forces that tell our heads we are a hopeless mess and no good for anyone.

    Let me rimind you , your are not just corageous but you are unique and I wouldnt be surprised if you are the most compassionate , caring person around too.

    Its in the search to find the answers of overcoming these anxiety experiences that is what really is the challenge , and to gain understanding in knowing what is truth and what is lies that our head wants to believe.

    In our human weakness it is no doubt we often will accept the negative always first .

    I am still searching for a way though my ongoing crisis with my physical health , my mental health being depression (bouts of this) and then the Anxiety.

    While I feel the world is against me.

    I still am assured that the professionals can only do a certain amount for us as they are exactly what they claim to be professionally trained and many of them havent a clue what it is to face what we know to be part of our daily. if not hourly experiences with this illness.

    They give us meds to try to calm the body down but this in the end especially in my situation is only helping to kill me off especially my main organs like my already damaged liver.

    I seek to find the Old me, I want my life back, I have the disability I have to rely on but am grateful it is there, at times like this i rally just want to hide from the world and those who want to hurt and supress me, I face being evicted from my home here in London in 10 days time, this is the punnishment i am recieving for not being understood and being bullied and abused by an uncaring society around me, who you would think in my current chronic health situation would want to do all they can to make things better, but no i am possibly looki ng at living on the street with only a impending death from having literally no immune system to fight off any infection.

    I cannot look down that road at this time.

    I am trying to stay focussed on my surviving techiques having lived with HIV for 28 years.

    My Father in heaven has a plan for me, I just wish it didnt involve all this crisis and the path way I have travelled since my life fell to peices 3 1/2 years back living in a home where i am told to my face i am hated because I happen to be gay and with HIV.

    I wish you all the joy, all the love and al the support you truly deserve

    This message comes to you from my heart.

    And at times like mine right now I still find it better to give out than to turn inwards and fall back into the victim trap that wants to destroy me.

    Hugs

    PJ

    • joanne26262
      joanne26262 ozzie1961

      Posted

      Well your heavenly father doesn't hate you because you're gay.  but I see how difficult things are now - and thats such an understatement.  My axiety started about 9 yrs ago 6 mos after my mother died and it hit me - I did go to a psychiatrist and after conversations etc he told me it can be a genetic disorder. I am on lexapro 10 mg a day and it really helped me.  Looking back at my childhood and being a teen, I saw how things hit me but perhaps youth could make things better.  Also looking back I see how my mother was extremely nervous and always worried, and her first cousin was the same way.  That cousin had a son who is on prozac and his daughter started with it in her late teens.  She didn't want to take any meds, but he finally talked her into it and now she is extremely good again.  She hadn't been able to eat and got really skinny and now is normal -  I am glad I learned all this stuff because my own daughter who lives in dubai has been having anxiety attacks, and I believe because she is 49 and premenopausal,  the hormones are not helping either.  but she told me she is going to see a therapist - she needs to talk with someone.  You will be in my prayers  Ive been to Londaon several times and really liked it but I wouldn't want to be on the streets.  Its still a huge city with its problems.  God bless you.  
    • ozzie1961
      ozzie1961 joanne26262

      Posted

      Dear Joanne

      Thanks kindly for your response , its great to have a better understanding of each other

      London is an amazing City , its very over crowded here and i do feel boxed in here after being raised in Melbourne Asutrlia in the 60s +70s.

      Life has certainly changed since those daysd.

      between the 2 of us we could write an incredible book of our lives.

      You are an amazing woman and full of experience , that gives us the compassion to bear others needs when they too cannot cope.

      We truly are survivors.

      I have used San Diego as my 2nd home mainly during the winter months to avoid the bitter cold of europe.

      I have had a lot of compassion for 2 particular hmelsee people out there and in fact went to live on the streets with them for 48 hrs to learn what it really is like.

      I lasted 48 hrs lol

      I have been terribly frightened and calling the world for support and was getting kicked backed so many time I found a better way and this was to just deal with 2 housing orgs and now I have to place my trust and all the hope i have left and am hanging onto that something good will happen on the 22nd july for me.

      I have actually had a calm, quiet and really allright weekend.

      Its beeen tough, it remains tough but somehow as always I will find a way of finding the urgent answer I need.

      I have also travelled from the East Coast of manhattan and Miami and got a group of unknown back packers travelling the world to do a car share ride with me to San Diego I have done this 5 times up to now

      I need to get well and start to save money so I can do this one more time.

      There is so much of USA to see.

      Hugs

      PJ

    • jenn3030
      jenn3030 ozzie1961

      Posted

      Thank you for the kind words PJ. I need all the support I can get, those who aren't living through it truly don't get it.. I have been told that I need to snap out of it.. I love your words of "give out" then turn inwards.. I would love to try and put that to practice. I am sorry for everything you are going through, hate is so wrong and to hate someone because they are gay makes zero sense to me.. I wish you so much peace and please feel free to reach out to me any time
    • ozzie1961
      ozzie1961 jenn3030

      Posted

      SNAP OUT OF IT acyaully when said is and never should be directed at you personally , the perosn that needs to snap out of it is the one that is saying those words to us.

      The need to snap out of not wanting to understand, not wanting to stand by us through thick and thin, not showing any interest in supporting us with finding the answers to those needs we have.

      And its they themselves that need to get a grip or rela life and those challenges that come inot all of our lives.

      The lack of wanting to know , compassion and freindship that is without borders is so much out there.

      people "friends " run a mile from us.

      They leave us isolated and alone to try to cope and get through.

      Why ?

      its simple as they fear the unkown , those things that they dont iunderstand of what they see happening in our lives.

      If only they could SNAP OUT OF IT and see things for what they are and take time to learn a little, research a little and really get to know what it is we go through in our daily lives then they will have the greatest of opportunity to show us the real value and meaning of being a freind and more.

      Its great to undertsand the the human spirit is selfish inconsiderate and focussed on me me me and more me.

      But what an hour to know u n me and those in here are far better than that.

      Those that have known pain really know what it is to give out compassion and comfort without  expecting any thing back in return.

      For good or for bad in richness and in poverty and health and in sickness we have each other in here, call it a marriage iif you want lol

      Bits it been a joy and a relief to find awesome and unique people like yourself in finding this site.

      i am here for life.

      Hugs

      PJ

       

    • jenn3030
      jenn3030 ozzie1961

      Posted

      Your way with words is amazing PJ.. this forum has already provided me with some wee bit of hope.. its horrible that others are going through the same things I am but in the same breathe it gives me a sigh of relief that I'm not alone in this struggle.. and that's how I feel everyday, this is a struggle..
    • ozzie1961
      ozzie1961 jenn3030

      Posted

      Your so right Jenn

      It is a struggle and somedays a real battle to stay on top of things and the isolation of learning to cope on your own and not having others to turn too is a painful reality.

      But thats why we are all so important to each other, this is a unique place of family, where we have the opportunity to find the courage and stregth to turn the moment around from what can be horrific and leaving us on the floor in what seems to be complete despair and hopelessness, we are blessed because all we need to do is come in here, say it like it is without fear of being misunderstood and instead of rejection and unhelpful comments we can recieve the nuture and the comfort that comes with compassion to get through those moments of hell.

      Some want to beleive there is no God, I can never deny God to be who He says He is and even the thought of a much higher and mightier power that is able to step in where no man is willing too, gives me the hope even when im hanging onto hope by a thread in Him I find that Hope I need to pull myself together and have often found the best thing for me to do is to come in here and see who has posted a new message and is reaching out for help.

      This allows me to take the focus of my needs and to place others needs for support above my own needs.

      Its in this that I can come back to my sanity and not want to self harm and just dissapear from the world we live in today.

      As much as my evangelical side of me that is inbuilt within me since i was a young child , preacher boy, anting to save the world , today all i know is i can only save me and knowing that my greater power , my Heavenly Father watches over me as He does every sparrow and He who knows every hair on my heas , he is sending his Angels of Hope to surround my mind and my life , the path he has given me to travel that i am chosen too and this brings me back to knowing His Grace and His love for me makes my life so important and brings real value and can if i allow it too through all the bleak cloudy confusiion i tend to have in anxiety and the depression I have known through intense loss in my life , he makes me strong and stronger and to be able to overcome everything that comes towards me like weapons of mass self destruction.

      it tells me I have a purpose in this life .

      So i continue to look to Him when human nature is all around me and I feel so betrayed and let down by those that in my mind could really be there for me but are not for one reason or the other.

      I now have just 10 days till D day here and you know what I still feel calm, I am not going crazy, I fear nothing right now and have had a weekend full of peace and just being ok with me and the situation i am up against but also knowing he above is so much greater and bigger than what man wants to do to me.

      Nothing can touch me unless he says its ok.

      I understand some woulnt want to believe this and all respect to them.

      But me and God have something going.

      And I cannot deny that he reigns and will keep me safe in His imensley loving arms through all this and more

      Hugs

      Pj

       

    • amandal38
      amandal38 ozzie1961

      Posted

      Wow! Pj Im with Jenn you do have an amazing way with words! Also jenn you are not alone, Ive been to the ER literally like 20 times in the last 6 mos only to be told its anxiety. Its very frustrating because we are taught that if something doesnt feel right it prbly isnt. Thats what anxiety does, makes us feel like something is just not right. Ive been reassured soo many times, yet I still feel like something is being missed. I wish I could "just snap out of it". I feel like Im chasing "normalcy" that I will never see again........
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