Antabuse Im really scared!

Posted , 2 users are following.

Okay, Im up to my eyes in it. Im liveing in a house with a weird guy _ to put it politely he presses my switches-he knows how to upset me, likeno one else and I am totally down. so I drank.

Everyone else in my family is a success. I am not!

Im even more upset as my sister told me about my father and his coments about me-also as theres a family history of alcoholics, questins are being asked ( so im told!).

Ive kept or tried to keep it secret from my family members, who too seem to choose not to see what is front of their own noses, or I should say smell. Okay, thats fine, because it wil hurt them and I dont really want to be hurting anyone.

okay im scared to take antabuse because A, I certainkly want be getting support from my ex. In fact I could bet on it that he buys more in!

B) If I have a horrible reaction or slip up on it, its me that has to be capable enough to get help.( I hoping i will be behaved enough not to),C) I cant imagine not having the freedom of choice. E) I know I will be more down even on taking citalopram-and want be able to sleep.

Ive approx 10 000 words to write for my course and loads of reading , Ive not started this yet as so much is going on.

My house , my flat looks so homely and Im really donw that I have to move out. My ex satets that \"I will not be taking the children with me\" Of course I state he \"has no right to state this. My girls are girls and I am their mother, and I cant believe he is aloowed to behvae like this. i cant believe there is no law.

Anyway, like my mum says I need to appreciate that some people have \"real problems\"

Im also concerned about shampooing my hair and moisturising and wearing deodarants-any expereince reagarding this stuff would be good to know!

Pls someone who will not disc me for who I am , please help!

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    i know it is hard going as i have been there i took drastic action and went to prison to stop drinking i had so many problems you wouldnt belive i went on a supstitute so i was not ill coming off the beer i do know that if your on the meds your on about you have to watch out for anything containing alcohol even hand wash so be carefull tell me more and i will chat to you more please my name is ricky
  • Posted

    Hi Nicky-yes im due to go on it next week. Ive spoken to others wh ohave taken it and most have replied that it ewould be crule to animals never mind humans. Thats why im scared, but I have to stop drinking as my ex WILL hold it agaoinst me and I could loose my children, my job, and fail my course. Ive heard that certain thinkngs such as deodarants etc can trigger a reaction . Thats scares me, and the reaction to that med sounds incredibly scary, hyperventilating, being one of them ( which after having o many panic attacks this year is the last thing Id want) Plus I am really scared of vomiting, and off heavy throbing pain in neck-just sounds like a panic attack. It can also kill from what Ive heard. Thi sousnds a little scary for my liking! Its sounds like a really old med-like really old fashioned one flew over the cuckoos nest.From what I can gather they , the helpers wartch you take it and check youve swallowe it or something. Why couldnt I have been ano? or anything but this! And how am i going to deal with myself, my emotions, my \"i feel like a freak, but feel ok when innebriated\" But I have to do this , if I dont do this, then Ill probably end up totally alcohol abusive-dependant-physically. Ok, HOW DID YOU COPE ON THIS, AND WHAT PRODUCTS DID YOU USE TO MOISTURISE AND NOT SMELL OF BO? Thanks for your help.
  • Posted

    Okay-going to go for it. its the only way.

    Doesnt stop me from feeling terrified, asheamed or from thinking id like to slash my wrists open, but then think no! Dont be so stupid-your kids are lovely and they are.I feel like Ive been trapped at home, Im now trapped by myself, and the system, but I guess its the only way Carry on, feel trapped but get over it.

  • Posted

    Really worried now. I start on this med tomorrow. Im just scared if theres side effects ( like the previos pills I had) I want to get me back -and right now this is the only way.....I must admit, im scared at how else im going to deal with my emotions.
  • Posted

    ive been really bad. I havent started this med yet-because ive been feeling the doom even without alcohl-and I know alcohol is never the answer-its just its been my way for so long. I worry- as I rarely eat well-since having been presrcibed this-ive been eatinr too well!

    I fear, i got so close to someone-and now its so wide aprt-what is the point taling to anyone about anything?? I fear addiction-as I know whatr im like- I was off alcohol for maybe 14 dtys last year and lost nearly a stone in weight. Im not heavy ( yet!) I dont wish to be either and part of that is my fear-that when I stop drinking I will put weight on-and be as crabbie as can be-none sems to get that. the point was abput reward and reinforcemetn-thats how it started-like sweeties for being a good girl. I have to agre Ive had some stuff in my history-some of which I will never ever mention to my Gp or anyone that crosses contact.( yes i know, its a bit kike saying, imreally upset- Iknow why- bt dotn-I cant-and I never will!)

    One good thing about asking for help- is amazing . Ive managed to piece my own pictue of why I feel the way I do-what triggers me and so on and that helps- but it doesnt take the pain away- and I KNOW THERS FAR MORE OUTREACHING STUFF-but i just cant cope with normality-( that should be in brackets- when things are a little of set - Im different - when things are supposed to be going smoothly-im shit. But when thingas are off set and I have to be ther 24/7 im wrecked oh sod it- who cares!Ive been readin g about dsm 4 and cross cultures and reading about topectomoy and if I ont shut up ill be getting one of them -( mind you I think my ex tried that a few years back -and it incolved a disinfected radiator) anywayIll bugger off I reckon my pmt is taking over. I think this place should be good to share your diarifics( coine by me hahahhah!) But I get its supoosed to only be a medical line for shared experiences.

  • Posted

    [quote=\"Guest\"]Okay-going to go for it. its the only way.

    Doesnt stop me from feeling terrified, asheamed or from thinking id like to slash my wrists open, but then think no! Dont be so stupid-your kids are lovely and they are.I feel like Ive been trapped at home, Im now trapped by myself, and the system, but I guess its the only way Carry on, feel trapped but get over it.]

    If your GP or alcohol nurse is going to prescribe antabuse, then you must already be an alcoholic, in its many forms.

    Some things you need to do.

    Admit to yourself that you are an alcoholic and shout it from the treetops for god's sake don't kid yourself.

    Change your lifestyle, stay away from friends who drink. (When you stop drinking you will find they probably were not real friends anyway! True.

    Find support from the many agencies talk to people one to one who are in your situation, their are thousands out there you are not alone.

    Be strong, antabuse is nothing to be afraid of at all, if and only if, you don not drink on it and if you are worried about doing this now then you are not ready to quit drinking anyway, in which case do not waste others time and effort until you are ready and really ready.

    Finally, good luck with your journey, it wont be easy but I can guarantee you life WILL change for the better and you will never look back once you have cracked it. x

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