Antidepressants (Prozac) and relationships

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Hi Everyone,

I wondering if anyone can help me, I will try to keep this short as I could honestly write about it for page!

My boyfriend of 5 years has depression and has being treated with prozac (fluoxetine) for around a year now. He wants to break up with me and says he needs to be by himself. Prozac has done many great things for him made him more outgoing and allowed him the confidence to make new friends but it seems to have completely stunted his emotions - especially romantically towards me. He has always had underlying depression and needed help for it and I'm so glad he's on antidepressants as he truly needs something. He has always refused therapy which I feel would really help him, but what can you do!! The last month or so has been absolute hell, I've had my own depression and other health issues that I've really needed support with that he has been unable to give, its like he has lost the ability to empathise at all. I'm absolutely devastated that my 5 year relationship may be ending - I KNOW the pills are numbing him, they make him completely selfish and he seeks out thrills to be happy, hes incompatible with every day life now and the only way he can be happy is doing extreme things like extreme sports for example. I'm so sad to be losing my relationship and wondering if anyone else had similar experiences.

Thanks

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    I have had similar issues with that medication. Although I feel it works the best, it definitely makes me a different person. However, I was taking Lexapro and it was also quite effective but without those side effects. Possibly a change of medication is appropriate in this situation.

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    • Posted

      Hi Albert, thanks for your message! Yes I feel it definitely 'works' on him as in he's active and so much more confident and sociable than he ever has been. But I really feel like he has no softness or deep emotion to him anymore and is unable to feel any love towards me anymore which is a very hard pill to swallow for me! It's also hard to accept that this pill could be doing this to him and if he keeps on the same one he may never feel anything for me ever again. I'd be so grateful if you're able to share anymore about your experience. thanks xxx

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  • Posted

    sorry to hear you are going through this. I am in a similar position. partner left me and kids 8 months ago saying he was numb and needed to work on himself. he was unmedicated until 21 days ago. he has no empathy for me or the kids. completely selfish and unable to provide any emotional support even to the kids. he is doing cbt but getting no where from what I see but maybe with meds also this will change. i definitely think your bf needs to go back to doc and discuss his loss of feelings if he is willing to do that. however from what i have experienced they cant see past themselves and the relationship is the least of their concerns. from what I have read they dont remember what feeling joy love etc is like so they can do stuff like extreme sports etc to feel as these things offer high levels of stimulation and they can feel. I have been through hell and back living in limbo and loosing a man I have spent over 20 yrs with to this horrible illness. it's all a process but eventually we need to prioritise ourselves. I have done lots of research. I found the depression fallout forum great but also sad because very few couples make it through unless the depressed really wants to change and is willing to work together with their partner.

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    • Posted

      Oh Karen I'm so sorry you're going through a similar thing. But thank you so much for this reply it's really helped me. It really is heartbreaking and I feel for you having your kids involved too. It's so hard I want to scream at him just to get something through .. but I know it will make no difference. I know he has depression but the level of selfishness and self involvement just angers me so much sometimes, I've helped him so much over the years and given him so much of my time, the fact that he wont do anything to try and save our relationship is just awful. I've suggested trying another pill and going to therapy but you can only lead a horse to water! It's sad to think that if he tried another antidepressant that could save our relationship and let him feel again but that choice is sadly up to him and he's into no one but himself unfortunately. I know he loves me and we've had such great times together over the years which just makes it so hard to accept. Its all very sad and confusing. I wish you all the best and don't hesitate to pm contact me whenever, its nice to talk to someone going through a similar thing. xxx

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    • Posted

      I know exactly how you feel. there are stages to depression fallout for the non depressed confusion, self blame, demoralization, resentment and finally a longing to be happy and away. I have gone back and forth through the stages so many times. he left home 8 months ago but the depression had been creeping up for a long time looking back. I hadn't a clue what was going on for the first few months. is he still communicating with you?. does he acknowledge it is the meds making him feel this way?. I know in my case he just shutdown refused to communicate except to say he was numb didn't feel love for me etc. in my case no matter how much I begged fought supported he would not take meds and now he started he has done it because he choose to not for our relationship, family. it's all a process for us and only you know what's the best decision for you. it's so difficult for you to see how easily this can be salvaged and yet he resists. believe me I am turned myself inside out trying to save my relationship. PM me anytime not sure what help I can be but I know I got great advice from others who have been through it as none of my family or friends understand it's not so easy to just end a long term relationship when you know they love you but they are in a fog 😭

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