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About a month ago, I started a new job. Since then, I've been dealing with anxiety. But the anxiety isn't about my job. I get caught up in crazy cycles of things that really work me up. I realize some of these worries are not rational, but once my brain gets going, I can't turn it off.

I worry about my parents dying (I'm 30 and I can't handle the prospect of them not being alive), to myself dying but not the fear of dying but the idea of the vastness of forever in heaven and being at peace. But that will trigger fears about the vastness of the galaxy which snowballs into someday the sun exploding and the universe dying (because someday the stars will all finally blink out). And then I end with just the idea of being gone and unknown. I don't believe I've had a panic attack, but my chest aches and is tight when I'm spiraling.

I feel utterly ridiculous. Fear about my parents dying feels rational, but the rest makes me just sound crazy. I used to love learning about everything, including space, but now I avoid anything that could trigger an anxiety spiral. I tried talking with friends, but they either told me to quit worrying about things that will never happen in my lifetime or strengthen my belief in God. It practically kills me that other people aren't worried about this stuff too.

I don't know if the stress of my new job is causing this and it will eventually pass or if I should be calling a doctor. I've been trying to limit my interent usage, walking more, trying mindful breathing and trying to eat better but my brain will not stop reminding me of all these awful things. Any advice is welcomed. This is anxiety right? I'm not losing my mind??

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  • Posted

    Hi Gail. Yes this is anxiety and you're not losing your mind. I think we've all gone through a fear of our parents as well as ourselves dying. It's good that you avoid your triggers, it may also be a good thing to get in some sort of therapy. CBT is a good therapy so I've heard. I've never tried it myself but will be making an appointment soon to do so. Meds may help also. You didn't say what your new job was but if it's stressful, stress can trigger anxiety. That's how most people's anxiety is triggered due to loads of unmanaged stress.

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  • Posted

    Yes it's a worry for the unknown same feeling I have not knowing wat will happen that's why I'm in this discussion I need help too it's probaly been a month at its worse for me aswell I'm going to see my GP see if she can help at all

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  • Posted

    Hi there. I'll start by saying I don't think for one second you're losing your mind, and also you should not feel ridiculous at all about what you're thinking. Because those are anxious thoughts you can't help but think at the moment, and I also have so many along the same lines. Like about my parents and myself dying from illnesses, but also that one day a serial killer will knock on my door, plane crashes etc. etc. They are thoughts that escalate where you no matter what situation you are in or will be in the future, your brain will associate the concept of "dying" or whatever that fear is, to that situation.

    I would strongly advise going to see a therapist. It's hard to tell whether counselling or CBT would help different individuals, but I think in this case you may need to retrain the way you think, so CBT might be the way to go. That's what I'm on at the moment to help with my worries, and it's making slow but steady progress. You're doing good things with the mindful breathing and diet, those will always help. And apparently less caffeine and alcohol is a good thing for anxiety too. But honestly, it's something that you will get through, I'm sure!

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    • Posted

      You're more than welcome, and it's always important to know that you're not alone with this. The reality is, there are probably more than a million people across the world who have these kind of anxious thoughts and are going through something similar to what we are. It's always good to talk about these things, even if it's on the internet, as it's still a load off. And I'm sure seeing your GP will help you a great deal like it has for me.

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  • Posted

    Thank you so much everyone. I hate feeling this way, but I feel almost relieved to know I'm not alone. My new job is stressful, but I'm looking into moving forward into my education so I can move into a less stressful position.

    I am most definitely scheduling an appointment with my doctor. Hopefully I'll find some sort of coping skills so I don't look back at this time in my life and feel like I wasted it away.

    I appreciate all your kind words.

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  • Posted

    I also get that dread feeling when I think about those things too about space and how big it is and yes the unknown is really frightening but the imagined perception of the universe is not how it really is. It's something that is both beautiful and terrifying but these are 2 perceptions. So it's all how you look at it. If you always think it's beautiful and amazing then that feels gud but if it's terrifying then ur brain will think it need s to be scared of it.

    Also there's no knowing what's beyond our knowing. And how does that affect our daily lives. Scientists continue investigating and we should just leave that up to them.

    In life we can't eradicate all the things that make us anxious, it's gud to hav some anxiety and it's about balance and living day to day and getting that anxiety about the universe back to more awe and wonder than dread.

    Hope this helps


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