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About a month ago, I started a new job. Since then, I've been dealing with anxiety. But the anxiety isn't about my job. I get caught up in crazy cycles of things that really work me up. I realize some of these worries are not rational, but once my brain gets going, I can't turn it off.
I worry about my parents dying (I'm 30 and I can't handle the prospect of them not being alive), to myself dying but not the fear of dying but the idea of the vastness of forever in heaven and being at peace. But that will trigger fears about the vastness of the galaxy which snowballs into someday the sun exploding and the universe dying (because someday the stars will all finally blink out). And then I end with just the idea of being gone and unknown. I don't believe I've had a panic attack, but my chest aches and is tight when I'm spiraling.
I feel utterly ridiculous. Fear about my parents dying feels rational, but the rest makes me just sound crazy. I used to love learning about everything, including space, but now I avoid anything that could trigger an anxiety spiral. I tried talking with friends, but they either told me to quit worrying about things that will never happen in my lifetime or strengthen my belief in God. It practically kills me that other people aren't worried about this stuff too.
I don't know if the stress of my new job is causing this and it will eventually pass or if I should be calling a doctor. I've been trying to limit my interent usage, walking more, trying mindful breathing and trying to eat better but my brain will not stop reminding me of all these awful things. Any advice is welcomed. This is anxiety right? I'm not losing my mind??
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